How do you measure that?

OK, this time I WASN’T winded on my way into the gym.  I went the full 20 min on the tread mill and even upgraded from 2 mph to 2.3 mph.

So here’s the rub… I am NOT going to apply Math to this.  Math is NOT my friend (she says over and over to herself) and neither is science.  “Why?”  you might ask.   The laws of thermodynamics, inertia, logic and statistics do no apparently apply to me.  Everyone has probably heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs:

1. Biological and Physiological needs – air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, reproduction, rest.

2. Safety needs – protection from elements, security, order, law, limits, stability, freedom from fear.

3. Social Needs – belongingness, affection and love, – from work group, family, friends, romantic relationships.

4. Esteem needs – achievement, mastery, independence, status, dominance, prestige, self-respect, respect from others.

5. Self-Actualization needs – realizing personal potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

I believe my fat is sentient.  It has plenty of air, food, drink and protection, warmth and it does tend to reproduce itself, and rests constantly on my hips.

Protection from the elements?  there ARE no elements that can get to it.  It is FEARLESS!

It doesn’t require Other fat to make it feel it belongs, it just makes more of itself. 

Esteem needs?  Are you kidding?  It controls my whole person!  Where I go, what I wear, which cars I can and cannot get into, what I eat, what I eat, what I eat….It is the boss and it knows it.

I believe therefore that it has reached a state of self actualization.  It will protect itself from all harm and danger including starvation (diet) and physical danger (exercise.)

This is why the Math and Science doesn’t work.   Mathematically, if you expend more calories than you take in, you lose weight.  Scientifically, if you reduce your intake of calories, or engage in activities that use more calories than are require for maintenance, the balance is tipped and the expended calories are higher than the intake and therefore you lose weight.  This is not true if the fat itself is sentient.

So yes, I am trying to *whispers* lose weight, but I’m not going to tell my fat or it will attack me in the night and smother me with Girl Scout cookies and marshmallow cream.

I had a Salad for lunch and a low-fat pizza for dinner (no not the whole thing doofus!  Just 2 slices)

Treadmill 20 min  2.3 mph and 1.5 incline

Weight (oh no!  it was listening) 211 so up 3 pounds since last week at this time.  Measurable progress. 

Fat 1  Me 0

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2 thoughts on “How do you measure that?

  1. I don’t Math, either. There are too many variables when it comes to physical fitness. When I have a higher than usual number, I remind myself that muscle is heavier than fat.

    Question: How much water are you drinking?

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