Today when I went to the gym, I was using the treadmill on the “mystery hike” where it changes the rate and the rise but doesn’t tell you when. You march along about 2.5 mph, then you here “beep beep” and suddenly the nice flat surface is an incline. Then “beep beep” and instead of 2.5 you’re now at 3, and huffing and puffing and wondering if you grab your water bottle and try to drink while walking if you’ll shoot off the back of the dam thing.
Headlines Bellevue Leader Accident at the Gym! Obese person flies off back of treadmill, crashes into a runner and a jogger on the treadmills behind and then into the stair steppers… Oh the HUMANITY! Oh the ENORMITY! OSHA investigates and now requires fencing between rows of machinery and a safety belt to be worn at all times by treadmill users. Perpetrator is banned for life from any mechanized equipment in the gym. Injuries on the other members of the gym were minor, except for the poor unfortunate who ended up UNDER the hapless treadmill walker. In his words, “ohhhh, urrrrrg, mmmmmmmmmm, owwwwww….” Roughly translated, “Get this big doofus off of me! and get me to a hospital!” He suffered 3 broken and 2 cracked ribs, a crushed pelvis, and an abnormal loss of 22 pounds in the form of bodily fluids and rendered subcutaneous fat.
Then I went into the locker room to change. I was sitting on the bench and getting more and more depressed, so naturally I weighed myself. I had a devil of a time trying to get my socks on and it occurred to me that for someone on a 1200 calorie diet, I wasn’t making a whole lot of progress. My boobs were sitting on my stomach which was sitting on my OTHER stomach which was sitting on my lap. That just isn’t right. I start to tear up, but someone else comes into the locker room. I packed up my stuff and left. I stopped by my old trainer’s desk and she says, I have a deal for you. So on Friday, I start back up with my trainer. She’s going to do a re-assessment on my health and refigure my goals with me. Then she suggested a myfitnesspal ap I could use on my phone to keep a log of what I eat and how much activity I’m doing. With the exercise, my net calories for the day was 1265. According to this ap then, I’m supposed to be at 205 in 5 weeks. Hahahahahaaaaaaaa. Silly ap. But once again, I’m determining my progress by measurements, and once again, I will come to the conclusion that the laws of biology and physics and common sense do NOT apply to me. I feel like I’m setting myself up for yet another failure, but it is not in my nature to see a problem and not try, with logic and procedure, to solve it. It may TAKE 8 years like Amanda, and she looks sooooo good! Can I devote 8 years to this? No clue.