Monthly Archives: May 2014

Un Just

Oh for pity’s sake.  How hard can this be?  I JUST want to update my phone.

Any time I say I JUST followed by anything, I get “HELP” from well-meaning people.  I don’t consider myself a stupid person.  I’m probably not as smart as I think I am, but I’m not stupid.  I cannot get my phone to update.  What does that sentence indicate to me:  I have tried numerous avenues of completing the task with no luck;  I have tapped into my friends and family and all the help sites on the internet with no results.  Now what does that indicate to these helpers?  Different story entirely.  I had one well meaning friend walk over and sit down next to me and say, “You simply (that’s always a bad start) go into your phone, touch the settings, then the general tab, then the updates and down load like this.”  She whips through all the buttons and gets to the down load button and hits it.  Then hits it again.  Then hits it with a different finger.  Then checks to see if the phone is on.  Then reads the fine print:  Phone must be connected to wifi to complete this step.  OH!!!!  Well, did you plug it into your computer?

So to everyone else that statement, “I cannot get my phone to update” means I have not done anything to solve the problem.  It’s like saying, “I cannot get my car to start.”  Then our helpful friends ask, “Did you get in it?  Did you have your key?  Did you get in the correct car?  Did you turn the key?  Was it in Park?”  How about, “I don’t understand Geometry!”  “Did you go to class?  Did you learn to count?  Do you know what a triangle is?  Did you read the question?”  How about “I wish I could play guitar!”  “Do you have a guitar?  Does it have strings?  Did you get it out of the case?”  When I make a statement to the world that I am incompetent on some project or some skill, why do they assume I’m starting at 0?  Why isn’t the 1st question they ask, “What have you tried?” instead of “Oh that’s EASY, you just… all you have to do is…. you simply…”  If it was Easy and all I had to do was just simply…, WOULDN’T I HAVE FIGURED IT OUT BY NOW?  Updating my phone turned out to be a rather complex series of steps that involved some things that were new to me.  Alas, when they print suggestions, are they Required to use jargon and code words to make the process more convoluted?

I did get my phone updated btw…  So how does this relate to the subject of this Blog?  It took me almost 2 years to get down to 187 pounds.  I’m now hovering about 210-214.  I go to the gym 4-5x/week and I watch my caloric intake.  The laws of biology and physics do NOT apply to me.  My well-meaning friends will say, well simply…  all you have to do is…  and well, that’s EASY, you just… Then I will blow up and throw something.

New “Just”

Over the weekend, I did a lot of activities that don’t get measured by my little programs and aps.  I did go to the gym Saturday morning for about 20 min of walking, then hubby and I went to our club meeting.  I had a sensible breakfast, a not so sensible lunch.  Oops.  Then the granddaughter came over.  We hacked at the grass (looks up grass hacking… nope not in my ap)  Then we went to the nursery to order dirt.  Then we jumped in the car and headed to the box store to get the lovely herbs I saw there earlier.  Oops.  Just because the west store has them doesn’t mean the east store does.  We walked allllllll over looking for these herbs (looks up plant pacing…nope, not in my ap)  Hubby found some nice patio chairs, and we got some onions, tomatoes and peppers.  We found a couple of the herbs, but not all of them.  Also found some nice planters.  Then we went to the car to load them up.  hmmm.  Chairs do not fit in trunk.  Hubby says, “I’ll JUST go in and get a bungee cord.  As a proud member of the BOA (Buick Owners Association) I know that in section 3a sub paragraph 2 of the BOA handbook, it says, “a Buick owner NEVER uses a bungee cord on the vehicle.  Anything that big should be carried by a more plebian mode of transportation… horse and cart, flatbed truck, minivan with tarp, 1982 Ford pickup…”  So my granddaughter and I wrestled the chairs into the back seat of the car, and the plants and planters into the trunk. (looks up planter packing… nope, not in my ap)  We then went out for dinner and I had a very sensible dinner.  On our way home, we went back to the nursery to get the rest of the herbs and pick up some gravel for the bottom of the planters.  We got the herbs, but then the store closed.  Went to WalMart for the gravel.  Got home and carried the rocks and dirt to the back (hubby did, so I didn’t get to count that) and then filled the planters with gravel and dirt and got the little planties planted.  (looks up gravel groveling, dirt dumping, plant positioning… nope, not in my ap)  Give the granddaughter a bath… I don’t bother looking up granddaughter dunking.  So how do I enter all this activity into my dailies?  My hubby says, “JUST walking 2.5mph –leisurely pace– for about 22 hours.”  Well that isn’t going to add up!

 

Phase II

Today… dat dat daaaaaaaaaaaaaaah… I went in for my 1st training session/fitness evaluation.

I’m a mess, but that’s why I went in.  Officially though, I’m 211 instead of 214.  🙂

My Trainer took all my measurements and worked out a plan for me to drop weight and get my health back.  I’m meeting with her 2x per week.  She wants me to do cardio 5x/wk and weights 3x/wk, cut down on carbs and log everything.

Went to do chin up and dip machine.  She had it set for 30 pounds, then changed it to 20 pounds.  I did 3 sets of 12 each.  Did 5 min on elliptical.

Starting phase II means paying attention and developing the disciplines to get to my goals.  Now, it’s not haphazard.  I am going to walk to the post office and back to finish my cardio.

Here we go. 20 min over uneven ground. Problem is the 3-4 min I had to sit down due to my back tightening up. That is really painful. It hurts right over the pelvic girdle. But I did my 20 min of walking. (cringes)

back in the saddle…no

that would be on the stationary bike.  I got back onto the elliptical machine.  It was most unpleasant.  I did incline 4, resistance 4.  I lasted for about 20 min and was exhausted!

I logged my food in, got 45 cal too many today. 😦

Bagged all the sticks in my garden.  Tomorrow, I’ll pull the weeds, then this weekend, granddaughter and I will put in our vegies! 

 

taking steps… lots of them

Today when I went to the gym, I was using the treadmill on the “mystery hike”  where it changes the rate and the rise but doesn’t tell you when.  You march along about 2.5 mph, then you here “beep beep” and suddenly the nice flat surface is an incline. Then “beep beep” and instead of 2.5 you’re now at 3, and huffing and puffing and wondering if you grab your water bottle and try to drink while walking if you’ll shoot off the back of the dam thing.

Headlines  Bellevue Leader  Accident at the Gym!  Obese person flies off back of treadmill, crashes into a runner and a jogger on the treadmills behind and then into the stair steppers…  Oh the HUMANITY!  Oh the ENORMITY!  OSHA investigates and now requires fencing between rows of machinery and a safety belt to be worn at all times by treadmill users.  Perpetrator is banned for life from any mechanized equipment in the gym.  Injuries on the other members of the gym were minor, except for the poor unfortunate who ended up UNDER the hapless treadmill walker.  In his words, “ohhhh, urrrrrg, mmmmmmmmmm, owwwwww….”  Roughly translated, “Get this big doofus off of me!  and get me to a hospital!”  He suffered 3 broken and 2 cracked ribs, a crushed pelvis, and an abnormal loss of 22 pounds in the form of bodily fluids and rendered subcutaneous fat.

Then I went into the locker room to change.  I was sitting on the bench and getting more and more depressed, so naturally I weighed myself.  I had a devil of a time trying to get my socks on and it occurred to me that for someone on a 1200 calorie diet, I wasn’t making a whole lot of progress.  My boobs were sitting on my stomach which was sitting on my OTHER stomach which was sitting on my lap.  That just isn’t right.  I start to tear up, but someone else comes into the locker room.  I packed up my stuff and left.  I stopped by my old trainer’s desk and she says, I have a deal for you.  So on Friday, I start back up with my trainer.  She’s going to do a re-assessment on my health and refigure my goals with me.  Then she suggested a myfitnesspal ap I could use on my phone to keep a log of what I eat and how much activity I’m doing.  With the exercise, my net calories for the day was 1265.  According to this ap then, I’m supposed to be at 205 in 5 weeks.  Hahahahahaaaaaaaa.  Silly ap.  But once again, I’m determining my progress by measurements, and once again, I will come to the conclusion that the laws of biology and physics and common sense do NOT apply to me.  I feel like I’m setting myself up for yet another failure, but it is not in my nature to see a problem and not try, with logic and procedure, to solve it.  It may TAKE 8 years like Amanda, and she looks sooooo good!  Can I devote 8 years to this?  No clue.

I’m back…

It’s been awful.  I have problems getting out of the car, off of the couch, into my coat…and worst of all…into the gym.  I’m trying to do this on “plan the night ahead and go at a specific time” and then crap happens and I miss my window and end up doing something entirely different.  But I got in today.  Saw my old trainer working with this old guy.  Turns out he’s a musician too–a BARBERSHOPPER!  What fun!!! So when I walk in the parking lot from my car to a store, my lower back seizes up.  I get pseudo cramps within 5 min where it hurts but I can still move.  I go to the gym and do the “mystery hike”  where the incline varies from 0-4 and the pace varies from 1-2.7mph and have NO problems whatsoever going 1/2 hr.  Isn’t that weird?

1/2 hr treadmill

I did NOT take my weight.  Tired of dealing with the bugger.