We?

I was listening to the radio “For Your Health” program this morning, and came to an interesting conclusion.  Here’s the set up:

The hostess states some statistic about how many people lie to their doctor when they go in.  She then goes on to say the obvious–that you could leave out pertinent information regarding your condition that would significantly alter your diagnosis.  That you must be up front when discussing your habits such as drinking, drugs and activities.

My conclusion was not that people are trying to save face in front of the doctor so they don’t appear weak and vulnerable, when, in fact, they are AT the doctor’s clinic BECAUSE they are feeling weak and vulnerable.

What is the 1st thing the doctor says when he or she comes into the room.  They look at the chart and then they look at you and say, “How are WE feeling today?”  Now if the mechanic came into the waiting room at the dealership and looked at the computer read-out of your car and said, “How are OUR cars doing today?” you’d look at him funny.  I dunno!  I don’t have the chart with all the information about YOUR car.  I assume since you drove it here, and I towed mine, your car is in pretty good shape and mine doesn’t work.  Let’s just concentrate on MY car.  If the waitress came to your table and asked, “What are WE having for breakfast today?” (and we’ve all had this happen), most would respond, “Wait–you came to work in a restaurant before you ate?  Can’t you sneak something in the kitchen?  Did you want to join me for breakfast?  It’s ok with me, but we’d have to split the check.”

So when the doctor asks the patient that stupid question, the patient is not wanting to appear stupid in front of the doctor.  He looks him up and down and makes his best guess that the doctor is probably fine and not hurting anywhere.  Then he self-assesses and then using a math that is as incomprehensible as quantum mechanics and averages it out.  The patient then replies, “pretty good for the most part.”

Don’t be fooled.  The doctors know exactly how you feel.  They have your chart!  They can tell what you’ve been doing.  If your eyes are bloodshot and you say, “Will this take long Doc?  I’m really hungry!  Oh and did you know all your pens talk?  Dude!” he will know you’re on some kind of drug.  He just wants to know one of two things: 1. Is it prescription? and 2. Can I sell it on the side to pay for my liability insurance premiums?  Hmmm probably not that 2nd question.  If you smell of alcohol and tobacco, and you giggle at the questions, he’s going to know you might have a drinking problem.  If he tells you what he suspects and you exchange money with your spouse, he’ll know you might have a gambling problem and that your kneecap injury is probably an indication that you’re not very good at it.  He will know when he listens to your digestive system and gets his stethoscope kicked that you might be pregnant.  He will understand when he comes into the exam room and you ask him where the tomatoes are that you might be suffering the first stages of dementia.

The point of the program was to encourage people to be straight-forward with their doctors.  My point is that doctors should ask, “WTH is wrong with you?” instead of using the royal “we” and then they’d get a straight answer.