Received this:
12/1 Elf arrives at house with naughty/nice list and Elf’s name is at top of Naughty list.
12/2 Elf empties flour on kitchen floor and makes “flour” angel
12/3 Parent calls 911 about home invasion.
12/4 Elf arrested for trespassing, vagrancy and vandalism.
12/5 Elf posts bail with the money he stole out of Parent’s pockets.
12/6 No sign of elf, but All belt loops on dress pants in closet cut off. Chef’s knife missing from kitchen.
12/7 Tiny foot prints outside parents’ bedroom window and all the left shoes taken from Mother’s closet.
12/8 Parents up all night with weapons of mass destruction getting no sleep whatsoever.
12/9 Parents late to work and groggy from lack of sleep.
12/10 Elf posed on night stand next to alarm clock with very large, very sharp knife.
12/11 Sheriff’s department orders psyche evaluation on parents. Elf poses unobtrusively on mantel. No sign of knife.
12/12 Mother committed for further evaluation. Father commits elf-iside and buries remains in sand box in back yard.
12/13 suspicious hole in sand box, and tiny sandy tracks into back door of house into basement.
12/14 No sign of elf, but seems to be something scurrying in the walls of house…
12/15 Elf, sitting on couch with head in lap turns TV way up and is watching Chucky.
12/16 Family moves to remote Island in the North Sea…
12/25 Package hand delivered by a Giant with a pink frilly umbrella that says: Merry Christmas! See you next year, Signed Elf.
Measureable progress 
HAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA
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