Robo calls

buzz, buzz, buzz.

Who do I know from Las Vegas?  Nobody.  No voicemail

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Who do I know from California?  Nobody.  No voicemail

Buzz, buzz, buzz

Rhode Island?

Buzz, buzz, buzz

Omaha.  Better answer this:  “If I could save you money on your automatic peat dispenser…” No, I don’t have an automatic peat dispenser.  Voice doesn’t stop, doesn’t answer questions, doesn’t ask questions…

*Slowly sinks into madness…Tim Curry maniacal look on face 

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

I text, “I’m on my way.”

Reply from phone:  “Who is this?”

“You called, I answered, just getting into the car”

“You’re coming here?”

“Of Course.”

“How do you know where to go?”

“I’ve been waiting for your call…I’ve been following you for weeks!  I can hardly wait to see you face to face!”

“Who is this really?”

“Look at your last call.  The one at 10:42.  It’s me!”

“Well you don’t know where I live do you!  I’m leaving!”

“I know you’re not.  You don’t even have your coat on.  It’s freezing out here!  I don’t want you to catch cold and end up in the hospital like last year.”

“Wait, how did you know about that?”  I don’t know but it was a 50/50 shot…

“Apparently this phone scam doesn’t pay all that well.  That’s a really messed up car!  Did you get it at an auction?”

“How do you know what kind of car I have?!!!”

“Drone…”  I play a youtube video in the background so he hears the drone sound.

He hangs up.  I call him back.  He doesn’t answer.  I call him periodically through out the day.

“I knocked, but you didn’t answer.  I’m right around the corner when you’re ready.”

I called back today, phone is disconnected.

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