Unfortunately, not pleasant ones.

Took my hubby’s car in for a tune-up…End up with a brake job and some other adjustments. $600.  Still have to buy tires. $600. My emergency fund has been depleted because, silly me, I took a month off from teaching. I fully intended to do more financial work, and no appointments got scheduled. “Can you catch me after our vacation?” “Can you wait until after the family reunion?” “I have the perfect date!” (It’s while I’m in Denver.)  I don’t call many folks about financial stuff. They think I’m an idiot. I’m really quite good. The people that have worked with me are extremely pleased with the results I’ve given them. They don’t want to recommend me to their friends, though. But I had planned to do more appointments to keep my cash flow up.

I learned that my radical ideas (put a Republican into the Presidency– a REAL Republican, not one that joined the party to get elected) were, in fact, more radical than I thought.  I was expecting a whole bunch of Republicans to run against the incumbent because he doesn’t know what he’s doing.  They’re not fielding anyone? Bill Weld? Who’s he? So I stated that I was embarrassed to be associated with the Republican Party and I thought that the party SHOULD do a better job actually representing their constituents. The Republicans are of the opinion that their chief constituents ARE represented. I haven’t lynched anyone, I’ve been faithful to my husband, and I attend church regularly. I cannot tolerate lying, exaggerating, straying from the truth, and misrepresenting history. I am also not a millionaire. So the man in the highest office of the land represents the complete opposite of what I am and what I believe. I am embarrassed that our president is unfamiliar with our history and doesn’t operate from a basis of reason and rational thought but from emotional impulse.

When I stated that on Facebook, I was immediately criticized by people I thought were like-minded–intelligent, thoughtful, moral, upstanding, people of integrity. That was a surprise! I don’t know what to do! I took down my post, but the damage is done. I will now be a pariah within my circle of friends (that is diminishing exponentially) because I think the president of the USA should be a person of character, not a character from a soap opera.

I am unpleasantly surprised by the things I say.  I sit back and look what I’ve commented, what I’ve said, what I’ve implied and I find that a good portion of the time, it’s snarky and rude. I think I will just hide in my room away from the computer, and if I cannot remain in my room, I shall endeavor to keep my opinions and thoughts to myself.  I shall learn the polite nod and the socially acceptable smile and the genteel laugh. When folks that know me ask me what’s wrong, I will reply, “Nothing’s wrong. I have taken ‘people’ lessons and now know how to be a ‘people’ like everyone else.”

      The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.~

Edmund Burke

So I shall do nothing. I am not a good person. I worry too much that what I do would hurt the cause of good over evil. I shame the good, I embarrass the righteous, and I bring nothing of merit to the cause. If I shake my head and enter my thoughts into the rant book, those will never be read if I can help it. Evil will triumph on Earth because it is supposed to. Good will only triumph if I’m not involved and it will be apparent on Judgment Day. I believe with my whole heart that Jesus loves me and I should go to heaven, but I’ll probably get hung up on a technicality. “I’m sorry,” says St. Peter, “but remember that time you yelled at God because you couldn’t find your keys? What kind of person would trust their souls to God and then curse Him for your inability to organize your purse?  Most take the escalator, but we have a special Bat Pole for you over there.”

3 thoughts on “Surprises

  1. I swore at God quite recently, so I’ll be right there with you. I am working on being better and not repeating this again.

    I’m sorry to hear about your finances. It’s really terrible when we cannot really afford what we need. I hope money starts flowing IN instead of OUT soon enough.

    As for the politics – I don’t really do that online, because ANYTHING can be used against you. But then again, I don’t want evil to win, so sometimes I stand up and say something. Some agree, some don’t. Online interactions are very limiting, so I don’t want to get into a lengthy debate, because chances are someone will get upset and end the conversation without listening to reason. And in person, I don’t associate with too many people anyway, so…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The finance part was an unpleasant surprise which meant that I had to reorganize and get creative. I should recover next month even so. That IS my profession so though it is not how I planned things out, it’s just a temporary situation.

    The part that really really upset me was the politics. The vitriol I received by people I considered my friends was a very unexpected surprise.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m sorry you had to take down your post because it was perfectly reasonable. I’m sorry people bullied you when they were perfectly capable of scrolling by without comment if the didn’t agree. You didn’t state anything radical or obscene. Grown people can disagree without losing friends. I am glad you didn’t engage in further discussion on the subject, but only because you can’t argue anything rationally on Facebook.

    Do not lock yourself away. You did nothing wrong. NOTHING. Mass shooters quote our president in manifestos. The head of the KKK endorses him. He calls out people who disagree with him on literal facts before he calls out rapists and actual Nazis. He uses Twitter to threaten foreign powers. You are allowed to look at his actions and start looking for other options.

    You only get better at peopling if you keep interacting. You have to actively work at being positive towards others. Pray on it. It should help.

    Liked by 1 person

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