CBS All Access

Remember Emily Litella? I want to continue her legacy. Yes.

“What’s this I hear about CBS All Access? I love Star Trek and Captain Piccard. (pronounced Pickerd) I wanted to see it so I looked it up in the TV guide. I went through 100’s of channels and though I found CBS, I didn’t find Captain Piccard. They say it’s all access! Pooh!!!

“I called them up and asked why I didn’t have access to All Access. They went on and on about subscription prices and terms and contracts and such. Then they explained that I would have to have an Aichdy Animal, and I don’t even know what that IS! Why would they require an exotic pet in order to watch Captain Piccard? I asked them if there was another way, and then they suggested a P Essfor and all I’d have to do is plug it into my TV. But I’d have to downlode and nap to watch any movies I have on disks. If I nap, I’d sleep through the movies wouldn’t I? This is outrageous!

“If it says All Access, it should BE All Access. I remember when I was growing up that all I had to do to watch anything on CBS was just turn to Channel 5. I remember this nice dial with numbers on it–13 of them. There weren’t 192 Channels that you needed a surgeon djin to find. Never did find one of those. It is my humble opinion that these people are not telling the truth, and I want to DO something about it!…”

“What? CBS All Access means access to ALL CBS? not CBS accessible to everyone? Oh. Like a secret, behind-the-scenes channel that no one else can see unless they pay?…Never Mind.”


Aichdy Animal: HTML

P Essfor: PS4

Downlode and nap: Down load an app

Surgeon djin: Search engine

Bring back Sax and Violins to TV. Then we can hear Ravel and the kiddies can get a musical education!

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