Discovery…well get on with it!

I adore Star Trek. I love the fact that all the aliens have forward-facing eyes, a nose, and a mouth where you’d expect, and 2 ears on the sides of their heads. They walk upright, have 2 arms and legs and have 5 fingers on each hand. The difference is the weird goop they have on their faces. I’m currently watching Discovery, and I do like Saru. And the Klingons have decided to grow hair again after the war is over. In a few months, L’Rell goes from bald to shoulder length hair? Sure… and the older male Klingons suddenly have 3 years beard growth. Oh, and Spock with a beard. But it’s ok, it’s not a goatee, so he’s not evil.

I love the technology. It’s so cool that you can go faster than light and stop on a dime and even though NOBODY wears a seat belt, they don’t fly through the windshields at the front of the ship. I find it amusing that they have the map on the flat screen and there are the two federation ships and the 30 bad guys in a circle around them. A circle… really? And they say, “We’re surrounded!” Didn’t they start thinking in 3 dimensions before Kirk? Fighter pilots in WWI and WWII were thinking in 3 dimensions! And with all the times they get attacked and it rolls the ship around, and they all fall out of their chairs, each time they redo the Enterprise, they have no airbags or seatbelts.

And before Kirk got the Enterprise, the Discovery had spore drive. Voyager could have been home that afternoon if they had TOLD anyone about it. They had a time travel vortex that made wormholes. They actually went backward in technology from Discovery to Enterprise.

But there are things they need to address. First of all, why start every new scene upside down and rotate the camera? It’s a cool effect once. After that, it’s just annoying.

Then there’s the dialog. OMG. They only have 90 seconds before the proton torpedo embedded in the hull of the ship goes off. They spend it trying to convince each other that one should stay and using their last 30 seconds for a moving tribute to their long association and how honored they’d be…oh for crying in the mud! Prop up the door for long enough she can slide under it before the blast goes off. But no.

“We’re out of time!” You have to bravely sacrifice yourself and you put people in danger because you spend 5 minutes saying goodbye to your brother and apologizing for every single slight and insult. And with NO time left, he has to accept her apology and tell her how she really benefitted him and he’s so proud of her and… For Crying out Loud! Just get to it.

I guess that the last episodes of the season have to have these long moving speeches to tie up loose ends and hint at the next season. It’s especially amusing because with the battle raging around them, and sparks flying and explosions, They never have to raise their voices.  Just once, during one of those scenes, I’d like for the engineer to say, “What the hell are you saying! Quit whispering! It’s red alert and klaxons are going off, and explosions and screaming, and you have to tell me for 2 min before everything blows up how honored you were to work with me instead of aiming the ship at a landing zone or shooting back. Are you out of your mind?” *BOOM*




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