You wake up and think, I haven’t worn that green outfit for a while. I have just the necklace and rings for it. Oh and these shoes! Yup. That’s what I’ll wear to work today.
You get to work and do your on-air make-up and the cameraman says, “Well this ought to be interesting…” The director says nothing. You review the latest data and check the monitors. You run a cursory practice on the motions for your part. The music starts. Camera 1 is showing anchor 1, Camera 2 is on anchor 2, Camera 1 picks up the Sports reporter. Camera 2 shifts to you, and you hear an involuntary snicker from the camera crew.
“It’s five minutes after the hour. In today’s weather, we can expect sunny skies and temperatures hovering around the 70-degree mark. More in our forecast later.”
“In the top of the news…” Anchor 1 describes the horror and the violence on the screen and you un-mike and go to your chair. The director motions you over.
“Ahem, you’re wearing a green dress.”
“? Nice of you to notice.”
“You’re wearing a GREEN dress…”
“? And? *beat, beat* Oh crap!”
“You have anything else?”
“Nope.”
“No scarf? a table cloth toga perhaps?”
“Let me check my purse…Nope”
“Don’t get smart with me.”
“I’m the weather girl, isn’t that impossible?”
“We will be the laughing stock because of this. What are you going to do about this?”
Anchor 2 is talking about cute puppies and school science fairs. She hates her stories. She wants to be Anchor 1. She has a journalism degree, but she’s not pretty enough to sit in the Anchor 1 chair. She hates that Anchor 1 has more hairspray in his hair than she does. She despises him because he can’t pronounce the names of the countries or their leaders without help. She shudders at his condescending smile when he finishes the hard news and passes the baton to her. She finishes her stories and Anchor 1 lets everyone know what’s coming up after the break. She looks at you and she sees what’s going to happen, and starts grinning. Anchor 1 hasn’t picked up on it yet. She motions you to come over and you do.
“You could go viral with this. You could tell the dirtiest jokes you could think of and now they’d be hilarious because you’d be invisible!”
You start to smile. You know exactly what to do.
You go to the snack table and take the fruit tray. You empty the fruit onto plates and carry it surreptitiously to your station. Anchor 2 is trying not to laugh.
“Welcome back,” says Anchor 1 showing his best side and gleaming teeth. “What do we have in store for us over the weekend, Brandy?”
You hold the tray up just under your chin. It looks like you’re a talking head on a platter. “It’s Mandy…and I thought I would give you a heads up about the storm coming in.”
Anchor 2 giggles.
Anchor 1 is confused. He’s not looking at the monitor. The sound man mutes the mikes. “What’s going on?” he says under his breath. Anchor 2 giggles again.
You float your head over to the national map. But you stoop so you seem lower. Leaving the tray in the same place, you stand up so it looks like your head is flying up into the air. “The temperatures here in the Florida region are going to soar when that low front comes in.” Your hand magically appears in the middle of the country. “But this high front will be coming in soon indicating storms and possibly some twisters.” You do a pirouette that makes your head look like it’s spinning. You move to the middle of the map facing the Pacific. “We have a big storm building up behind the Rockies” (coinciding where your boobs would be if anyone could see them) “and that could impact the Appalachian area in 3-4 days,” you say facing the Atlantic and the corresponding mountains strategically placed. The cameramen are almost crying. Anchor 1 is now staring in disbelief at the monitor. Camera 1 briefly cuts to Anchor 1 for his reaction and catches him with the dumbest look on his face. Back to Camera 2.
Your head looks down. “Meanwhile, down in the gulf…” Howls of laughter from the camera crew. The director has tears in his eyes and though he’s motioning wildly to go to commercial, no one is paying attention. “Warm, moist air is coming into the lower regions of the country bringing some possibilities of earth-shaking activity.” You close your eyes and bounce on your toes. You clear your throat and continue. “So if you hear lots of noise to your south, don’t lose your heads. Back to you!”
Camera 1 on Anchor 1: Stunned silence
Camera 1 switches to Anchor 2: Her head is buried in her hands as she laughs uncontrollably.
Camera 1 switches to Anchor 1: Still stunned silence
Cut to commercial.
Measureable progress 
An entertaining read.
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hehehe
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HAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!
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Glad SOMEONE thought it was funny.
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