Category Archives: attitude

Fall back position

I tend to go to subversion as my first fallback when things don’t go right.  It upset me to discover this, but I know WHY I do that (after some reflection.)

  1.  Follow the rules.  Stay within the parameters.
  2. Watch as an incompetent takes over and screws it up and derails the project.  This brings up two pathways: wait for experience to kick in, the lesson to be learned, whatever that gets us back on track or watch the doofus crash and burn and the project stay off track and fail so I can say “I told you so.”
  3. So I wait for the turn around and it never happens.  But I want the project to succeed, both for my benefit and for the others involved in the project
  4. Doofus gets schooled by higher ups or more experienced people on the team and gets discouraged but in order to save face DOESN’T CHANGE ANYTHING AND MAY EVEN EXASPERATE THE SITUATION! 
  5. I become subversive and the project succeeds in spite of the mismanagement because we are back on track.
I am too old and too impatient to go through all 5 steps Every Single Time.  In my experience in the public schools and as a business owner/operator and in fast food, and in the many organizations I have been a part of (from Girl Scouts to Church Choir…) it’s always the same 5 steps.  There were some projects that I was indifferent to, and those I let founder.  And though I didn’t say it out loud, I snickered to myself, “I told them so…”  Now, I recognize the signs early on, and exasperated, I assume that the Doofus that is messing things up is not coachable or amenable to change.  He/She will not learn the lessons.  Why go through the effort of mentoring them and coaching them if they keep saying, “I got it from here” and they clearly don’t “got it?”  I’m not saying micromanage, because we all know how futile that is.  So instead of falling back on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th steps and especially with a time crunch, I revert to step 5 as a default.  That’s the way I have programmed myself to think.  Unless something changes in the human condition that contra-indicates this conclusion, that will be my general approach to situations like these.
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I have my Mad on

Saw a stupid video on Facebook, and it’s stayed with me all day.  9 year old kid gets bullied on the play ground.  He starts beating on the kid, and the teacher intervenes.  The kid is in the heat of the moment I guess, and hits the teacher.  I know of a 9 year old that was so big that he could pick up his foster dad, and his mental condition was such that when he had his mad on, he felt no pain.  The kid in the video, however, was not one of those big kids.  He did not have a condition that masked his pain when he had his mad on.  How hard can a 9 year old hit?  Yes, it would probably hurt.  He was not schooled in the martial arts, so there would be no broken bones or split lips.  It shouldn’t have made the news.

The parents videoed their son being handcuffed and led away by police.  No sign of injured teacher leaving in ambulance, no sign of injured bully leaving in an ambulance…  Obviously, the parent of the young felon (assault and battery) weren’t going to video the ambulances taking away the victims of the vicious 9 year old, but the follow-up by the news reporters did not mention any hospitalization either.

Let’s hear it for Zero Tolerance.  How many of you have been in school yard fights?  If you won, were you arrested?  If you lost did you sue?  How many of you were bullies?  How many of your victims fought back?  Would you have continued to bully people that fought back?  The #Me Too was for all the people that had been sexually assaulted or somehow associated with a sexual assault–you were the boss that fired the assaulter, or the counselor that turned them in.  It might be easier to identify the bullies than the victims because I think in this country, NO ONE would admit to being a bully, and yet 102% of the population would identify with the victim of bullying.  The only conclusion is that there were 5 boys and 3 girls that were moved from school to school all over the area just to bully those who didn’t fit in (meaning the rest of us.)  The point is this:  weren’t all these bullying incidents handled in house?  Little Donnie and Little Tracy were sent to the principal’s office and sat in detention for a few days.  The rest of the school population went about their business and the victims tried not to NOT fit in so they wouldn’t continue to be bullied when the miscreants were released from detention.

THERE WAS NO NEED TO HAVE THE POLICE COME INTO THE SCHOOL.  The kid didn’t have a gun or a knife or anything else that was identified as a weapon.

I am old.  I remember when they landscaped Europe.  (Oooh I love fjords!  Put some more in!)  When we had a serious incident with bullying, namely fighting, the brat(s) went to the principal’s office and he or they got 10 whacks from the Scurbanian Killer…a brush with the bristles removed.  It hurt like the dickens, but it was immediate.  There were no appeals, no law suits.  The parents didn’t rush in to demand the principal’s job and slap punitive damages on the principal, the teacher, the victim, the victim’s parents, and the school board.  It was assumed that if you got the Scurbanian Killer at school, you were going to be grounded for a month and get a spanking from your parents when you got home too.  And everyone in the neighborhood would look at you and shame you for your bad behavior.  Then some doofus decided that children were people.  That they had rights–the same as adults.  But they also had no responsibilities.

Wait?  What?  Adults are adults because we have learned that rights come with responsibilities.  Privileges are not guaranteed.  If you give children rights, and don’t teach them responsibilities, how do they learn?  If you think that a kindergartner or a 1st grader can learn the same responsibilities that an adult has learned, I have a bridge I could sell you.  Same for 9 year-olds.   The bully needs to learn that if he does bully someone and that one fights back, it’s all on him.  The victim must learn to stand up for himself and fight back if need be to protect himself.  There are responsibilities for the teachers as well.  If you get hit when breaking up a fight, crap happens.  Both students should have been sent to the principal and the situation handled IN HOUSE.  The faculty and staff and administration of the schools have given up their autonomy in ruling the school.  They have given up their responsibilities of in loco parentis and turned it over to the police.  And we, as parents and grandparents, have allowed this!  How stupid is this?  Are we teaching children how to be adults?  NO!  We’re teaching children how to game the system.

Get the law and politics OUT of the school system!  Treat children as children and then teach them how to be adults.

OWWWWW!

So I started out 2018 really well…I broke a toe!  Not the grubby little toe, and not the Big really important toe, the 4th toe on my right foot.  Now remembering that my left side gives me troubles…Broken hip twice after replacement, kidney stone in left kidney and now some sort of muscle problem in my left thigh, I limp on my left leg pretty much as a normal thing now.  How do you limp on both legs?!

You cannot splint a toe.  You just tape a good toe to the bad one.  They must be adjacent.  It is a lovely shade of purple now, but I can still get my foot into my shoe!  Yay!  So I ask my friend how she heals so fast because she’s had some broken bones and bam!  You can’t tell she’d ever been injured.  She says use the D3 plus Calcium and not only heals the bones but strengthens them.  Well of Course!  That makes perfect sense!  So what do doctors recommend?  OMG.  You can’t pronounce these meds!  What do they contain?  Welllllll, you can’t pronounce those either.  Why would they prescribe chemicals that are so foreign and contrived when Vitamin D and Calcium work better with fewer side effects?  The fact is, the doctor wouldn’t.  He’d tape the toes together and say stay off of them as much as possible.  Ice and ibuprophen.  He wouldn’t even prescribe a bone healing agent unless you asked about it.

So what do we see here?  We’re treating the symptom and not the cause.  Do we see this approach in other areas?  OF COURSE!

Scenario 1:  I don’t have enough money.  I must double my hours to have enough money.  I cannot double my hours in my current position, so I must find additional work.  If I work for myself, I will make more money, but it will take too much time from my other job.  I will work a part time job that doesn’t pay as well so it doesn’t interfere with my other job.  It will cost me more in time, and sleep, and child care, and gas and wear and tear on my car and add stress to my marriage and my relationships with my children and my friends.  But, I don’t have enough money.

  • Enough money for what?  Are you trying to pay off debt?  Are you wanting a more lavish lifestyle?  Are you worried about paying your utility bill?  Do you find yourself without heat/light/phone every month?  Prioritize your needs for the money.  If utilities and mortgage/rent are the 1st things you pay for out of your paycheck, and you don’t have the money left to service your debt, you may have to eliminate some things and plug the leaks in your budget.  And even if you have plugged all the leaks, you may have to come up with a unique way to bring in more money.
  • Can you get a raise?  You want more money for the time you expend and the value you bring to this company.  Are you worth more now than you were last year?  Have you improved your skill set?  Have you taken on more responsibility?
  • Can you work for yourself in a way that your schedule is flexible enough to give you the money you need to replace your current income with fewer hours?  How important is this job you currently hold?  Is it your passion or is it just a paycheck?  Is it a means to your passion ie. you make $1000 more than you need for your household and spend it on building ultralights, or skateboards, or helping in the shelters or donating to Doctors without Borders.

For many people, the cost of the childcare and the transportation is 2/3 of the check they’d get from the 2nd job.  If you figure 80 hrs/month at min wage, ($7.25) you’d be working 80 hours for less than $150 a month?  That’s $1.81/hr.  Who can afford to work for $1.81/hour?!!!  So as in every enterprise, you have to look at the cause, not just the symptom.  Is there something that takes only an hour or two per week where you can make $150?  Let your mind go crazy and then pare it down to something reasonable.  For me, that would be 2 students/month.  I would be 1-2 investment clients/month.  It would be 4 books sold.  (Nice thing about books, you only have to write them once!)  Find the source of the problem and work from there.

Scenario 2:  I am fat.  I don’t like being fat.  It causes really stupid problems like not being able to tie my shoes or put on my socks.  I can’t get up out of the couch.  I will eat fewer calories and stay up later so I burn more, and exercise until I drop.  ??  I am not losing weight.  I am eating fewer calories, I changed from my late nights to getting a full 7-8 hours sleep, and I’m still exercising.  I am not losing weight.  I’m eating the RIGHT calories, getting enough sleep and exercising.  I am not losing weight.  It’s hopeless.

  • How are you counting calories?  Do you weigh your food?  Do you cook it so you know how it’s made and what goes into it?  What is the breakdown of your calories–carbs, proteins, fats?
  • How consistent are you on your work outs?  Are they all cardio or do they include strength and flexibility exercises?  Do you work with a trainer?  How do you measure your progress of your work outs?
  • How much sleep do you want?  Do you wake up tired?  What is your typical bed time?  Do you dream?  Do you dream in color?
  • Have you spoken to a doctor?  Had testing done?  Nutritionist?  Recommendations for change in diet?  Watched hour long infomercial about how people are losing 60 pounds in 30 seconds followed by an add for chainsaws and extreme liposuction with a shop-vac…

See?  The symptom is being overweight.  If you cannot determine the cause, you cannot fix the problem.

Unfortunately, when it comes to mental problems, cause doesn’t always lead to the same effect.  I’ve become increasingly skeptical that knowing the cause of a behavior can help change the behavior.  It may eliminate a trigger, but only if the trigger isn’t very old. If the trigger goes back to your childhood, I look askance at it.  Unless you can remove a traumatic experience from your past, you have to go from your present condition.  About all you can do for those experiences is to think, “oh…wasn’t that interesting,” and move on from there.  I know that’s harsh.  “When I was in Jr. High, I was thrown into the shower and restrained, wet and naked, and they took all my clothes and put them in the hallway.”  That’s traumatic.  Can you change what happened?  Nope.  Can you get even?  Probably not, and it wouldn’t make you feel better.  How did you cope at the time?  Do you believe that nothing could be as bad as that experience?  Probably.  Have you anything to fear then?  Hmmmm.  The symptom was being the person on the bad side of a bully and (of course) the minions that follow bullies around.  What was the cause?  Does it matter? Nooooo!  Now that’s where the interesting stuff comes out.

So when you find yourself worrying about stuff in your life, sit down, take stock, and ask the questions until you get to the root of the situation.  Then solve the problem, don’t just treat the symptom.

I don’t believe it!

I have spent the better of 1 hour on my feet.  I now have to sit down and rest.  Then I’ll get up again and spend about 1/2 hour on my feet.  Then sit down.  Then I make cookies with the grandkids.  I now have to sleep for 2 hours and am sore for hours after that.  I love baking cookies!  I love cooking!  I love clean…whoops, not that one.  But when I finish, in fact multiple times within the cooking and baking, I have to sit.  When I’m done my feet are sore, my back is sore, and I’m exhausted!

My friend Gloria read from a book “Getting Old is Not for Sissies!”  I sure identified with that!  At this time, I have my kids so well trained, all I have to do is the “up” gesture they used when they were two years old, and they will pull me out of my chair.  Why do I need to be pulled out of my chair?!  This is ridiculous!  My old year’s resolution was to drop some pounds so I wouldn’t be in this painful condition.  I went on a diet, (ketogenic) and I must have done it wrong because I GAINED weight.  I spent time in the gym doing my physical therapy exercises so I wouldn’t limp so much.  I’m still limping.  I got on the curve treadmill and the stationary bike to build up my endurance.  I’m out of breath going up 7 stairs.   It seems counterintuitive that when you consume fewer calories, and exercise more to use more calories, that you can remain the same weight or gain.  That’s just how it is with me, so I’m not going to rant on that (again) but I sure would like to find something that works.  I feel so icky!

Progression

If it moves for, it’s pro, if it moves away, it’s con.  But not every Pro has a Con.  So a Proverb doesn’t have a Converb, but a procession does have a concession.  Wait… hmmm. A procession is a group of people moving in an orderly way.  A process is an orderly set of steps.  But a concession means to give up something.  Both have the root word “Cession” which means giving up something.  If you look at it, it’s 2 sides of the same situation.  Process–moving forward to take ceded land, and concess–ceding the land to the processors.  What does that have to do with popcorn and hot dogs?  The ball games and the movie theaters allow you to have food as long as it’s theirs.  Otherwise people would sneak food in.  So understanding that people watching their shows or games want to be eating while they do this, the establishments concede that it is better for them to offer food that patrons must buy on site than allow people to bring in picnic baskets or illicit food sellers to sneak in and sell it on site.  So now they have a Process:  confiscate all incoming food, including water bottles, and sell food for people to consume on the premises.  Yes, they check your handbags.

You can have a Promotion but not a Conmotion…That would be demotion instead.  You can have Protection, but not Contection, Propagation but not Conpagation, Proliferate but not Conliferate.  Of course, to be fair, Proliferate has a different basis…proles meaning offspring.  But you can see my dilemma.  Of course there’s the old joke:  The opposite of Progress is… Congress!  It wouldn’t be funny if it wasn’t true…

So for me to Progress, something else has to give.  That isn’t the case when you’re trying to reduce your weight.  Because face it, if you lose weight, you’re always looking for it afterwards and usually you find it.  All of you out there that are trying to get back to a normal weight, ok, a lower weight, ok, a really lower weight (2 pounds doesn’t count), and maintain that new weight, you and I have to CONCEDE something.  In fact we have to concede a lot.  We have to give up couch time for movement time.  We have to give up eating for fun for eating for sustenance.  If you’re only expending 1200 calories a day, you can’t consume 2000.  You cannot eat food you’re addicted to, such as bacon with everything.  a8fa-2013735-bacon-milkshake.jpg-resize-_opacity_100-frame_bg_color_FFF-gravity_center-q_70-preserve_ratio_true-w_1300_

I’m so disappointed I never tried bacon shakes…Ok, no, I’m not.  You have to give up something you have for something better…even if you love the thing you’re giving up.

Is what you’re getting better than what you have?  Will you feel better?  Will you be able to shop in the sections that don’t include tents when looking for clothes?  Will you be able to go up and down stairs, run after kids and grand-kids, bend over to pick up dropped objects, get into and out of chairs and couches and vehicles?  Does that have any significance to you?  Do these things mean more to you than the couch time and the addictive food you crave?  That’s the big question.  Put another way, I cannot progress unless I move BACKWARDS.  This is the hardest part of any self improvement program.  (Hmm do Programs have Congrams?)

In order to improve yourself, you have to be more aware of what you do that keeps you from improving.  Is it your language, your stance, your abilities, your skills…?  What do you have to give up to go up?  If going up means more to you than staying where you are, you will be willing to give up to get there.  If you are more comfortable doing the things you do now or being the person you are now, and going up means giving up something you love for something you like, Don’t do it!  You will be unsuccessful.

WTH

What if things go wrong.  You can count on things going wrong actually.  They’re very consistent.  You have a plan, you execute the plan, the plan goes off the rails, you throw the plan out.  Those are Captain Cold’s rules.  He then gets trapped in a room with a giant shark/man mutant from another dimension (Demention?  from crazy town?)  He does get rescued in time though.

I am on this weird journey to make Measurable progress in getting fit.  My 1st entry in this blog was March 6, 2014.  OMG.  I was 208 pounds then.  I’m 218 now.  Since that 1st entry, I have looked for the right combination of exercise and diet that would get me down to about 140 pounds which I haven’t weighed since my youngest was born…143 pounds plus or minus.  I remember that weight because I was 143 pounds going into the hospital as a pregnant lady, and came out weighing 143 pounds AFTER the child was born.  How is that possible?  He was 7# 4 oz.  I should have weighed at least 7 pounds less coming out!  That was the beginning of this strange journey into obesity.  Hahaha!  I can blame my boy!  Nope, that won’t work.

I cut myself down to 1200 calories a day.  I have been at 1200 calories a day for 3 years.  I have tried cutting out chocolate, then bread, then carbs in general, then colas, and at one time I existed on soup for a week.  Of course that was because I had a terrible respiratory virus that precluded me from eating solid food.  I couldn’t keep anything down but soup.  I do not recommend it.  I have exercised cardio and strength training 5 days a week with a trainer 3 days of those days, and I have exercised on my own taking occasional walks and going to the gym to work on the tread mill once a week.  I have been told I’m eating too little.  I have been told that to really lose the weight, I have to go on an 800 calorie diet and take supplements.  I have been told that all I need to do was portion control.  I have been told that all I need to do is start a running regimen.

In the course of this journey, I have had a 1/2″ kidney stone, I have broken my hip, and I have suffered all sorts of indignities that go with being too big.  I especially hate shopping for clothes.  “Here, try this tent on, the circus won’t be back until spring.”  I cannot physically get into a swimsuit because I cannot bend over to get both my feet in.  It doesn’t work like underwear.  I used to love swimming.  I used to love dancing.  I’m winded going up to the sidewalk of the gym.  I watch all the weight loss commercials and think to myself, well they wouldn’t work for me.  I think the laws of physics and biology bend around me.  I think I have ranted on this before…if you eat less and exercise more, you use more calories than you take in and you lose weight.  Unless you’re not eating enough, then they pile on.  If you are awake really late at night because you have something on your mind, and you’re moving, you’re using more calories, right?  But if you don’t get enough sleep, you gain weight.  So the laws of physics apply to every situation except when they don’t.

I HAVE NO VICES!  I do not overeat.  I do not smoke.  I do not drink.  I do not commit adultery.  I do not gamble.  I might be addicted to Longmire, but I don’t think that’s a vice since it has a definite ending point.  And yet…  I cannot find the energy to clean, or cook, or garden, or walk or dance or swim because I am so big and it takes so much effort.  I get depressed because I know I DO have 6-pack abs, but they’re so insulated that no one can see them.  I used to dance 5 hours a day.  I used to hike 10 miles.  I used to go on bike rides all over.  I used to march and play a horn for an hour a day.  I used to chase 5 kids around.  I used to be a pit pop who moved the percussion instruments on and off the field and in and out of the trucks.  I used to set field props for band contests.  I couldn’t do any of that now, even at gunpoint.

And now, I have another physical issue.  I don’t want to be in a state of always having to do something to fix something.  I don’t want to take medicine for the rest of my life.  I want it fixed.  When the light bulb goes out, you replace it.  You don’t have to monitor it every stinking day to see if there is something that MIGHT go wrong with it.  When you replace a broken window, you do it and it’s fixed.  There is no daily activity you have to do to make sure the fixed window hasn’t degraded into a broken window.  When you break a bone and they reset it, it heals and then EVERY FREAKING DAY you have to exercise the muscles around it so you can continue to use it for the rest of your life.  Because once it’s broken, it’s ruined.  Nothing will ever be right about it from that point on.  If you have a kidney stone, EVEN AFTER YOU’VE PASSED IT, you’re likely to have more.  The kidney is ruined and nothing will ever be right about it from that point on.  If you’ve gained weight, by whatever means it has happened, your metabolism is ruined and it will never be right again.  Every day, you start from 0.  It’s like Forrest Gump if he were in the Outer Limits. He starts his cross country run, runs for 25-30 miles.  He goes to sleep and wakes up the next morning in his bedroom.

As a good friend of mine says, “Oh Well.”

VACATION!

Look at these pictures!  Aren’t they amazing?  Great Sand Dunes, a lovely peak with aspens in full color, another view of the aspens against a cobalt sky, and a church on the top of a big hill.  You know what the problem is on vacations though…food.  I ate food.  I’m not supposed to eat food.  New Mexican cuisine, burritos don’t taste like Taco Bell here.  I even had duck for dinner once!  What does that mean?  It means that now I’m at 218 pounds.  Holy Crap!  Almost 4 years at the gym, averaging 1500 calories/day, and I’m 15 pounds heavier than I was when I started.  That’s measurable.  That’s progress–meaning I’m moving somewhere.  Let’s face it.  I’m NEVER going to be in beach body shape.  But I needed that sound of the wind in the trees, the hawks soaring over, even the Ravens cry in the early morning.  I needed that smell of pine and cedar.  I needed that rain, sleet, snow, hail, 0 visibility, long hours in the car, purse full of postcards and memories of hikes, museums and galleries, and last but certainly not least, time with my best bud, my husband.  We even lost power in the town where we were staying.  2 hours of darkness in the hotel.  They weren’t worried, so I wasn’t worried.  The power came on with little ado.

oooo purdy 178

So yes that’s snow…and it got so thick when we left that we couldn’t see anything but the tail lights ahead of us until we were about 50 miles west of Ogallala, NE.

One week later, I was at a Girl Scout Camp Alumnae Event and we did low ropes activities and archery.  Sore?  Ok, the tops of my feet weren’t sore, but everything else was.  I’m still toooooooo weak on my left leg.  Dammit.  Then of course I had gained all that vacation weight.  I couldn’t transfer weight from good to recovering leg, and couldn’t balance on recovering leg and move good leg.  Couldn’t get to 2nd of the bosun chairs.  Hands hurt, legs and back and tummy hurt, arms hurt, eyebrows hurt?  It was fun because my daughter was there.  It was also a reminder that I am not, and have not made my fitness a priority.  It always takes a back seat to whatever I’m doing at the time.  Dang it.  I don’t like having fitness a priority in my life.  I want my LIFE to have priority–seeing things, doing things, experiencing things!  But OOPS, I can’t see things, do things or experience things in my current condition.

I guess I have to make it a priority until I am in a condition that I can have a life…tomorrow.

 

I was raised differently

I follow several blogs.  A great many of them are success-oriented.  The interesting things they all have in common is that everyone is programmed from birth to be what they are now.  We all believe what we’re told between the ages of 0 and 6.  Our personality is set by age 6, and everything we do and think is what we’ve been told to do and think.  We put ourselves in bad places mentally and physically by our attitudes on life:

  • “Eat Drink and be Merry because tomorrow we Diet.  Wait… Die?”
  • “Life’s a Bitch and then you DIE.”
  • “When you Die you can’t take it with you.”
  • “You’ll never see a hearse pulling a U-Haul.”

The gist of this is that nothing we do on Earth matters, so you might as well enjoy your stinking life in your paycheck to paycheck job with your boring spouse and your over-scheduled kids.  Who wouldn’t want to take an automatic and shoot everyone in sight?!  There is no hope in this view of life.  But some people actually enjoy life.  That’s just wrong on so many levels.  They should feel guilty for how much time, freedom and money they have.  They should spend it on us because we have no time, no freedom and no money.  Why can’t we become people with time, freedom and money?  Because money is evil, or the root of all evil or the love of money is evil or something from that book that has the gold lettering and 2″ of dust on it.

  • “Money can’t buy you happiness.”
  • “Life would be better without money.”
  • “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.”
  • “The poor will be with us always…until they all die of course.”

It’s true–money can’t buy your happiness.  Neither can NO money.  Money represents trade.  I trade what I have in goods and services for what I want from someone else’s goods and services.  I cannot trade music lessons for carrots, but I used to trade it for 1 gallon of fresh milk (directly from the cow to me!  I had to pasteurize it myself) and 2 dozen brown eggs.  I trade what I have in talent and time for a substitute type of currency (little pieces of paper with pictures of famous people on them) that I can use to trade for carrots.  I don’t have to find someone with carrots that has an interest in guitar lessons.  Much handier.  I can trade information on finances with someone that wants to trade information on history.  Although it would be mentally attractive, I cannot make stew with historical information.

Turns out, I was programmed differently.  I have suffered from that all my life.  One of the most asked questions in my family as I was growing up was, “What do you think?”  Silly me.  I thought everyone had this kind of discussions at home.  I was an outcast because I actually thought that what I thought was interesting, in-depth, and had some sort of worth to the people who surrounded me.  I was wrong.  I found out I had been programmed wrong…bad code.  People were people and just wore different skins and hair.  Some were good at thinking, some were good at working with their hands.  People were fascinating creatures.  We don’t all think alike or believe alike or act alike, and that makes humans interesting.  Somewhere, sometime, some people became aware that since not everyone thought alike, some must be right and the rest wrong.  Oops.  And since I didn’t think like that, I was wrong and was ridiculed for it.

Let’s just settle this here and now.  I’m right.  Now let’s go on from here.  There is more than one way to accomplish things. It is ok to make money.  It is ok to enjoy yourself.  It is ok to want freedom and time to do things.  Work is fun when you contribute to your society.  There is no one way to do that.  It’s like Paul described the church in the bible (1 Corinthians 12:12).  The reason the rich get richer is because the rich think differently than the poor.  The rich trade thoughts and innovation for money, the poor trade time and effort.  The rich look for assets–things that provide multiple income streams.  The poor look for a 52″ flat screen and diversion and put their money into liabilities.  So you could have a large bank account and still be poor because you look at the money as an asset instead of a tool to accumulate assets.  You could have a 0 bank account and be rich because you can trade your time and effort for an asset that brings in money regardless of your attention to it.

Jim Rohn says that every child should have 2 bicycles–one to ride and one to rent.  The child doesn’t have to ride both bicycles, and doesn’t even have to ride one.  He might rent both of them!  Then he could use the money to buy a 3rd bicycle.  See?  He now has a revenue stream.  The maintenance and repairs on the bikes might bite into the revenue stream, but it wouldn’t stop it.  Sooooo, the kid with 0 money goes and does odd jobs for the neighbors to earn money to buy the 1st bicycle.  He rents out the bicycle because he can’t ride it while he’s doing the odd jobs.  He has an active income stream from his own efforts, and a passive income stream from his little brother who rents the bike from him.  The kid now uses the profit to buy a second bike, and now can ride further around the neighborhood to do odd jobs and increases his territory.  He enlists the help of one of the neighborhood kids to do some of the work, and though they split the profits, the kid still has to rent the bike to get to the jobs.  If kid II doesn’t figure out what kid I is doing, he continues with this arrangement as long as Kid I continues to get jobs and rent him the bike.  Kid I becomes fairly well off.  Kid II has money for movies and snacks.  Which one becomes rich?  Kid I’s little brother is without a bike since Kid I rents it out to the neighborhood boy to help with his business.  Kid I’s little brother gets his own bike the same way by selling lemonade on the corner.  Then he adds cookies to the stand.  Then he boxes up some of the cookies and sells those.  Then he hires a neighborhood girl to run the stand and opens a 2nd stand in the neighborhood down the street.  The children in that household have figured out what assets are.

Was I programmed like this?  Why, yes, yes I was.  I cannot bring myself to work for others.   I do not have a 6 figure income.  I have been to Europe 3 times since I was married.  I have been in every state except Hawaii and Louisiana.  I paid cash for the $1450 repair on the car for a compressor.  I have investments that grant me multiple streams of income.  I am not rich because I have a big bank account, I am rich because I have multiple assets.  I have time, freedom and enough money to do what I want.

Once you are aware that where you are you programmed yourself to be, and where you want to go is also programmable, write the program!!!

How can I get better without hurting?

No Pain, No Gain.  Am I pushing my muscles and tendons and ligaments to their limits?  No.  I am walking to my car, up the stairs in my house, out in my yard to move my hose for the new planties.  So why am I so sore?  Am I doing extra work at the gym?  Am I getting a thorough work out at the Physical Therapist?  Well…  10 min of my workout in PT is spent with a warm pack on my leg.  It is followed by about 5 min of deep tissue massage (which really hurts especially around the screws in my appliance).  I then have about 3-5 min of ultrasound therapy.  20 min of non active therapy.  40 min of marching, standing on 1 leg, battement tendus (French ballet term), doing step ups, a hip sled, and stretching exercises.  But it didn’t hurt the day of or the day after.  So why is it hurting now?  Why do I still limp?  Why am I so hungry?  oh wait, next blog…stay on topic kid!

I’m finding it difficult to locate my center of gravity.  It seems when I stand on my recovering leg that my center is to the left of my leg and I’m leaning over to compensate.  I try to move my hips so my center of gravity is center.  That is most uncomfortable. 50833843-image-of-young-overweight-person-doing-exercise-at-home-while-standing-with-one-feetPasse

So that isn’t me, but do you see how the upper part of the body is tilted over the right side of the standing leg?  It should be centered over the foot and the right hip extended further so the upper body is straight up and down like the dancer on the right.  Yes, she’s holding onto a barre, but she could hold that position without the barre as well.  I cannot seem to get myself into that position.

Heck, I can’t walk on a tread mill without holding on because of the limp.  Driving me crazy.  9 months now, beginning the 10th month of recovery.  What a pain.

Congratulations! You’re cured!

I don’t get that assessment very often.  I got it from my orthopedic doctor yesterday.  But Doctor, I still hurt.  “Yup.  You’re going to hurt.”  But Doctor, I still limp.  “Yup, you still limp.”  How am I cured?  “Your leg is no longer broken.”  Ah.

Then, from the Physical Therapist…”You know, eventually you’ll have to be doing exercises on your own to keep making progress.  You have to get to the point where you don’t need us any more.”

Maybe I should have washed the clothes I wear to the appointments…though I didn’t notice anyone’s eyes tearing up and heard no retching noises.

I did get new shoes yesterday.  They are supposed to compensate for my outward roll on my right foot and support my weak left leg.  Both have a very high arch support in them.  I feel like my foot is sliding off the center of the shoe.  They felt ok in the store though.  Is there a thing where when you cross the threshold, the shoes have a trigger that turns off the comfort level?  I guess I’ll find out if it works in a few days.

So for all intents and purposes, my leg is healed.  It still hurts to stand on it for any length of time, and I cannot go up and down stairs like I used to.  But…

IT’S PROGRESS!