Category Archives: attitude

Well, this is interesting…

Yup…I’m getting better at taking selfies?

1st one is September of 2021. 224 pounds
2nd one is June 19, 2022. 198 pounds.

Other than the clothes, it doesn’t look much different.

My feet haven’t swelled as much since the beginning of the year. Except for the vacation in England, my glucose has been right around 100 or below since March, though I did have a bad week in May where it averaged 146. I was inconsistent at the time of the day when I measured my glucose. This week, 6/22/22, I’ve averaged about 99.

Some people that I see on zoom have commented they can see a real difference. I don’t. But I feel a difference. When I got lost in Edinburgh (June 5, 2022) I walked 12K steps. My normal is 1000 or less. My expectation was that I was going to spend the night with cramps, stiffness, and terrible hip pain the next day (especially if we spent any significant time on the bus.) I was not anticipating with joy any walking tours the next day. And yet, I slept through the night and was able to work the kinks out pretty well the next day. My feet were sore after the trek, but not bad the next day even with some walking around. I haven’t had the stiffness in the back since I got home that used to occur when I walked any distance, and we did 7500 steps at the zoo with the grandkids Saturday.

I saw my sister-in-law yesterday. The last time I saw her, she was using a walker and couldn’t do stairs at all. We went to Cracker Barrel yesterday to meet her and my niece Carrie as they wended their way up to Iowa. She’s lost a significant amount of weight! Wow! She wasn’t in a wheelchair or using a walker, just a cane. Her meds are down, which (I am SURE) makes her feel better! My brother-in-law, the sweetest man alive, died just a few years ago of cancer, so she’s been living alone since then.

Unintended consequences: You know, I think her attitude about life has changed since last I saw her. MY attitude about life has changed as well.

They LIED!

On Dec 26, I entered my meals for the day, my water, and my steps. I hit “Complete Diary” for the day and it told me that if I continued to eat the same way, in 5 weeks I’d weigh 212.5 pounds. Daily averages were 1300 calories, 121g carbs, 50g protein. I’m averaging much less now. 967 calories, 56g carbs, 62g protein. I should weigh 212.5 right? Dec 26 I weighed 218. Today, 5 weeks later, I’m at 219.

Day of Atonement

Just saw an article stating that we should abandon the holiday of Thanksgiving and replace it with a day of atonement.

There is one. This year, it was September 15/16. That is the Jewish tradition: Yom Kippur being the beginning of the new year, and this is preceded by the self-evaluation of the people. They look at their lives over the past year and see where they sinned and what they can do to please God.

The Muslims have a day of atonement in August and recall Moses crossing the Red Sea and the assassination of the grandson of Mohammed. It, too, is a time of reflection and confession meant to bring people closer to Allah. It is observed in August.

We don’t appear to have one in this country. Why? Is it because we have too much to apologize for?

In order to atone for our sins, we must recognize them.

  1. We’re sorry we brought death and disease to the indigenous peoples on this continent
  2. We’re sorry we stole all the land and exiled people from their hereditary homes
  3. We’re sorry we stole all those souls in Africa and brought them against their will to serve as machines
  4. We’re sorry we changed the laws of involuntary servitude to be permanent and inheritable (if you are a slave, then so are your children and grand children)
  5. We’re sorry we persecuted all the immigrants from Asia
  6. We’re sorry we imprisoned the Japanese Americans in concentration camps
  7. We’re sorry we have raped the land
  8. We’re sorry we invaded and overthrew leaders even though it was none of our business
  9. We’re sorry we have so gravely removed anything nutritious in the food we produce
  10. We’re sorry we have removed everything religious about our religious holidays
  11. We’re sorry we have denied basic inalienable rights to so many members of our society
  12. We’re sorry we have neglected to raise our children to respect others and to be people of character
  13. We’re sorry that we elevate people of bad character to stations of respect and idolize them
  14. We’re sorry we place more value on entertainment than wisdom
  15. We’re sorry that we have abandoned all sense of decency because it’s not as much fun
  16. We’re sorry that we continue to persecute people that are not white
  17. We’re sorry that we refuse to help the poor
  18. We’re sorry that we focus on long-term returns on investment rather than cures for curable situations.
  19. We’re sorry we choose people to represent us and then make them lead instead
  20. We’re sorry we have legislated to the point were any laws broken are relegated to jail time
  21. We’re sorry that we have the highest incarceration rate in the world
  22. We’re sorry that we have fallen so far in the education of our children
  23. We’re sorry that one of the main causes of death is being unable to pay for health care

It sounds to me that we should spend a month atoning! I bet it has sparked some other things you, dear reader, are aware of that need atoning for.

But Thanksgiving is a Harvest Festival. You don’t celebrate the harvest by not eating it! We rejoice in the bounty God has provided us: the food (even if it is less than nutritious), our families, our friends, our freedom, football…

When should we have a time of atonement? How about Advent? Those four weeks before Christmas when we remember the coming of Jesus as a baby. (Even though we think Jesus might have been born in the spring, December 25 was chosen due to the idea that heroic beings were conceived on the same date of their death. Since they believed Jesus died in March, he would have been conceived in March and born in December.) We also look forward to the second coming of Jesus, at the end times. WHEN EVERYONE WILL BE JUDGED!

Think about it. When is the time when the most people are charitable? That’s when the Salvation Army buckets and ringers come out. That’s when they have food drives for the poor. That’s when more people serve in soup kitchens. That’s when people send donations to the poor in other countries as well. Charity is one way of making atonement.

When we recall the predictions of the end of times, don’t we also examine our lives and those of our families and our enterprises to see if they’re in alignment with God’s law? This is not an easy process as most people never think of unintended consequences. Should we not examine how our government behaves and those we have chosen to represent us? Are they following Godly precepts? If they are, there should be some acts of atonement as well.

By all means, YES, let’s assign a time of atonement for this country. But let’s not forget to be thankful for what we have. Do not turn this celebration into a time of mourning.

If we remember why we look forward to the second coming of Jesus, maybe, just maybe Christmas means a bit more. Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqOOUJFv1n0) Maybe in buying gifts and decorating we add a gift to the child who will get none. Maybe we pray for forgiveness and then forgive someone. Maybe we remember WHY Jesus came and we save someone. Maybe we remember how Jesus came and we care for someone who needs it. Maybe, as Jim Rohn used to put it, we just use the last month of the year to reflect on the good and the bad, and plan for our next year. And when we plan, we don’t just write down our goals and what we wish to accomplish and acquire. We make use of the perspective we have gained throughout the past year, apply the wisdom we have gained, and align ourselves with our new worldview.

The Fear Factor

I belong to an eclectic group of women who are entrepreneurs and coaches. They are absolutely brilliant! For instance: Tuesday we were discussing Machiavellian Philosophy! Really!

He said,

“Since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved”

and also:

“it is much safer to be feared than loved because …love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails.”

This discussion has already inspired one blog post, and now, it has inspired a realization! When you look on Facebook or the news or the rhetoric, you will see lots of threats out there. One side insists you should be afraid of COVID and to protect you from this dread disease (and it does kill lots of people and causes permanent damage in others!) the country will mandate safety measures. The other side insists you should be afraid that the government is whittling away your rights and freedoms for their own nefarious purposes. Remember when you could go to the airport and sit with your loved ones at the gate until they got on the plane? Remember when you didn’t have to remove belts, change, shoes, pins, purses, or briefcases to go into a courthouse or a sporting event? Those restrictions were added to prevent people from crashing a plane into a building or shooting up the venue.

In discussing the philosophy of fear Tuesday, we found it to be true that fear and love cannot occupy the same space. The cure for fear could be as simple as a hug, a shoulder to cry on, or just sitting and listening. The cure for love is suspicion, uncertainty, and fear.

This started with the Viet Nam War. We were told this was a just cause. But it wasn’t a clear-cut situation by a long shot, and we were exposed to the uncertainties, the barbarism, and the horrors of war. How? By videos shot by the newsmen in-country. The main focus was that you couldn’t trust the government. Then, you couldn’t control the government. Then there was the Democratic Convention in Chicago that erupted in riots. Once again, the cameras were rolling. You could not trust the police. It was the age of protest. You couldn’t trust the Church. Your personal rights and freedoms were being trampled by the people you were supposed to depend on.

What was the source of all this fear? THE MEDIA! It is often called the Fourth Estate. Our government is divided into the Executive Branch, the Legislative Branch, and the Legal Branch, and they are all supposed to be equal to each other in power so no one has exclusive say in every matter. The Executive branch makes policy, but then it has to be ratified by the legislature to make sure it is good for the people they represent. Then it has to pass the legal test to see if it conforms to the Constitution. The Legislature decides where money is spent and how programs are to be administered. It can be either vetoed or endorsed by the Executive branch and either accepted or challenged by the Legal branch. The Legal branch can set up a ruling but it cannot make a law. Seems pretty balanced, doesn’t it? The media, however, is not chosen by the people nor appointed by the government. It exists to make money. The purpose is to keep the public informed, but there are no regulations on how it is supposed to do that.

Look at the fear-mongering and follow the logic. What party benefits from the fear of communism/socialism and the removal of inalienable rights? Do they get money? Do they get compliance? Do they get outrage from their constituents? They may get another seat in the house or senate, but it doesn’t really profit them. What party benefits from the fear of unchecked disease, false reporting of statistics, inaccurate information? The same results as the other party. What does the media get for spreading fear on both sides? Advertising dollars! The media profits from working the fear aspect on both sides of every issue!

Who, then, is the ultimate ruler? The people with the most power? It ISN’T the politicians and the rich–they may have a small influence, but they cannot control the media. Who is ruling by fear then? The Media. They gain power through their constant feeding of the Fear Machine they have created. They get rich and influential enough to control what we see and hear, and they don’t care about the outcome or the effect it has on the people of this country. They care about power, money, and influence, and they rule absolutely based on Machiavellian concepts. They are not responsible to the people they serve. Their only oversight is presumed self-governance and integrity. Integrity has not, as such, played an important part in what is reported and how. They influence policy; they influence elections; they influence buying trends; they influence fashion and style; they influence our treatment of people who are not like us; they influence how and which laws are to be enacted; they influence how we react to such laws.

The messages we get saying “Don’t trust the media!” get changed to “Don’t trust THAT media, ours is right…”

So here we are, sitting in the middle.

  1. Don’t trust the politicians
  2. Don’t trust the rich
  3. Don’t trust the poor
  4. Don’t trust your employers
  5. Don’t trust the unions
  6. Don’t trust the Church
  7. Don’t trust the foreigners
  8. Don’t trust science
  9. Don’t trust big pharma
  10. Don’t trust your doctors
  11. Don’t trust your friends or family
  12. Don’t trust your acquaintances if they do not believe 100% like you on every issue
  13. Don’t trust people whose first words include, “You must trust me!”

You’re not paranoid if everyone really is out to get you. You are much more inclined to be influenced if you are isolated.

And who is spreading this fear? The media. And who profits? The media. And what do they gain? Influence, power, and money.

How do you know when it’s dark?

This is Suicide Prevention Month. We have to have a whole month dedicated to keeping people from killing themselves.

If you see someone that’s down, offer them a hug. Ask them how they’re feeling. Offer to help.

Killing yourself is selfish. You hurt the people around you.

Count your blessings! Look at all you have to live for!

This is BS.

Normal people will look depressed and it’s temporary. It’s an easy fix. Depressed people have been depressed for a while and suppressed that look. Who would have known that Robin Williams was depressed? Increased alcohol and drug use? Addicts are really good at hiding those things. So if you see someone that’s normal and happy, there’s a good chance they’re not. They’re good at acting normal because they don’t want to be a burden to anyone. Oh. Well, that complicates matters.

When you’re depressed, you think you’re already hurting the people around you. You want to stop failing those that depend on you. You want to stop causing them pain. You want to remove your foul influence on your family and those folks unfortunate enough to hang around you. The most unselfish thing you could do is take yourself out of the picture. Yes, they’d be sad for a bit, but ultimately, they’d feel relieved, wouldn’t they?

Count your blessings? Are you kidding me? When you’re suicidal, you believe that all the good things that come your way are undeserved. You have received things you didn’t earn. You feel guilty for anything good in your life. You didn’t do anything to deserve that spouse, that friend, that child, that job. You can’t possibly live up to their expectations. What do you have to live for? Constantly falling short? Disappointing everyone you know. Disappointing everyone you don’t know! Trapped in a situation you hate and have no control over…bad job or health situation or bad relationship with relatives or family members. This list can be as long as your arm. The future looks hopeless.

The first thing a depressed person might do is isolate himself so he doesn’t ruin someone else’s day/week/life. It brings his little world more under his control. People make the decision to end their lives with a feeling of hopelessness, an emotion they do not think they can control. They defend this decision logically. So even if the logic makes no sense to someone who isn’t depressed, it makes sense to the person. They have their arguments all lined up and prioritized. So they self-isolate and close off connections to “stop the bleeding” and protect those people around them. They do not realize the consequences of this type of thinking. They just make their world small enough to accommodate their worldview.

What if you’re forced into isolation? You don’t have that social network to keep your spirits up and keep you connected to people who care about you. Then you notice that people you thought were close do not extend their connection to you. People you thought were friends do not text or call or Facebook with you. You begin to wonder how much they really cared. You may not even consider reaching out to them because you think that it is something they should initiate. Your world gets smaller.

The product of isolation, especially now that we have internet and instant communications is that we no longer have to see facial reactions and body language. You don’t need that filter between your head and your mouth. Things you NEVER would have even brought up in polite conversation are spewed all over your profile. When people you thought were friends suddenly block you, you may think that it’s their fault. Not yours. You know it’s a two-way street, so you also know you share the blame. Your world, again, grows smaller.

You begin to think about the extreme behavior you now see in the news, the vitriol spread through the media, the rampant paranoia, and the injustice, and gradually, the conspiracy theories become more palpable. You begin to abandon those social niceties you had to adopt when in public. Pants become optional. (This is a metaphor… Things you would have kept private and to yourself are now on display to anyone with whom you make contact.) You can see how this isolation has affected normal people. Now imagine if it was self-imposed.

What steps can we take to consciously reduce that feeling of hopelessness?

  1. Be kind to each other. I know this sounds like a poster, but it’s such a simple step. I don’t mean to belabor this point, but being kind goes deeper than patting someone on the head saying, “It will be all right.” Go out of your way to make the people around you feel good about themselves. Show appreciation genuinely. Praise in public and critique in private. Never call names! Never Bully someone! It is the cruellest thing you can do to a person.
  2. Be grateful for everyone and everything in your life. Even if it isn’t ideal. This change in perspective is also simple, but not easy. Gratitude has to be practiced. But how does your gratitude help someone who’s depressed? You are modeling a behavior that shows a different perspective. You may express gratitude to a person that doesn’t feel noticed, whose work gets no appreciation, whose circumstances seem hopeless. You might be a source of hope and help to someone you may not suspect needs it.
  3. Take the time to connect with those around you who may feel more and more isolated. A postit note with a cheery message or a thank you note can brighten someone’s day. A text that says “I thought of you and wanted you to know how much I value your… (fill in the blank.)” A hand-written thank you note is unexpected and always appreciated.

It sounds like so little, but it also sounds like it would take much time for unnoticed results. What’s weird is that when you do any of these things, they also bring up your mood as well.

The fact is you cannot tell when someone is experiencing that darkness. In fact, if you are on that slippery slope to the darkness, you may not even know it until you’ve slid in a distance!

If someone confides in you about their feelings of suicide, do not argue with them! It makes them feel more guilty and more likely to defend their actions.

You find someone in the bathroom sobbing… “What’s wrong?”

“My girlfriend just left me! I can’t go on without her! I’d rather just die.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. But there are lots of fish in the sea. She didn’t deserve you. Just get back on the horse. You’ll be fine. Well, Nice talk.”

Um…That would be disastrous.

If, instead, you replied, “I’m sorry to hear that! How long were you together?
“What did you like about her?”
“Where did you meet?”
“How did she make you feel?”
“Was this a surprise?”
“What did she say?”

You see? You are encouraging this person to talk, not listen. At this point, you can direct them to a counselor or a pastor who can help them recover. You are not making judgments on their choices. You are not trivializing their problems. You are not prescribing behavior that they know they cannot incorporate.

In these times of trouble, when threats to our security, our health, and our freedoms seem overwhelming, if you treat everyone (including yourself) with the utmost care, you can alleviate some causes of depression in not only yourself but those around you. Let’s work to reduce these suicides.

Do you trade help?

If I help you, do you feel obligated to help me? If you help me, should I feel obligated to help you?

What if we’re not trading services? What if we help each other because that’s what friends do?

Ah, but what if we’re not friends? Would you help me if I asked you? I would help you, cautiously, if I could see you needed it. If you were stranded at the side of the road and were waving people down, I would see how I could help. If you had fallen and were injured, I would definitely help. If you were hungry or cold or too hot or thirsty, I’d be there for you. If you needed shoes or a blanket, no problem. If you just needed a shoulder to cry on, of course. If you were starting your business and needed someone to believe in you, yes, but with the proviso that you weren’t in it because “squirrel” and you weren’t trying to profit on someone’s weakness or ignorance.

About this time in August of 2016, I went to Orlando for a John Maxwell Conference. I almost made it into the lobby. There was this revolving door and an exit that wasn’t an exit. I walked into the glass and stopped. The revolving door didn’t. It knocked me down and I broke my hip. Some guy I didn’t know but who might have been a guest at the convention center blocked the revolving door so people wouldn’t run into me. I never even got his name. The concierge as well as the security guy checked on me and called the ambulance. I didn’t get their names either. I cannot repay them for their kindness and willingness to help. I remember them fondly. When I see someone who needs help, I will more likely help just because I remember how grateful I was for the assistance I received.

If someone reminds me that they’ve helped me in the past, it’s because they showed a willingness to be as open-hearted and giving as I’m trying to be to those I’ve helped. It gives me a connection I can relate to. No one owes me help, and I don’t owe anyone either. I help because even though my Savior knew me and what a flawed person I am, and even though I never deserve help, he stepped in and helped me anyway. I should do that for those that need me here, so my obligation is not to the people I help but to my Savior.

I asked a friend of mine to help me in a business venture. I reminded him that I supported him in his venture simply because I knew him and was hoping for his success. He said he almost turned me down because he doesn’t trade help. What? He said all I had to do was ask and not bring up the fact that I had helped him before. I will not consider us “even” if he helps me. I will consider us closer, more comrades than acquaintances. I consider trading help with my friends as just something friends do. I will watch your cat. You will loan me sugar. We will chat over the fence. You will recommend a good restaurant. I will recommend a good movie. We help each other and don’t keep tabs.

Not trading help makes no sense to me. How would you respond to a request from me for help? Would I be obligated to you? Would I be a closer friend? Would you help me at all?

Do I have to turn this car around?!!!

How many of you are parents to elementary age kids? Have you ever used this phrase during long trips?

The difference between long trips and being at home is that everyone is in a confined space and going someplace. When you arrive, there is adequate space to run around and play and hang by your knees from some terrifying precipice. But while you are in the car, you can play car games or listen to music and that’s it.

Since we had 3 kids in the family, I, as the oldest, would sit in the middle of the back seat to separate my brothers. This did two things: it mitigated my cigarrette-smoke-induced car sickness, and it kept my brothers from beating each other to a pulp. By the time they were in upper elementary school, they’d graduated to “He put his fingernail on my side of the car,” (hence putting me in the middle to prevent that) and “He looked at me funny!” You could predict with 98% accuracy that this would begin about forty-seven minutes into the car trip. If left unchecked, the animosity would escalate into name calling and tears. Why tears? Because if they started threatening each other, my dad would attempt to paddle them while simultaneously driving the car and he wasn’t specific on his targets. If he did not, I would ball up my fists and hit each boy in the chest in a single move that would impress Chuck Norris. Either way, there would be tears. (Because I never got caught doing this, I rarely got in trouble at the same time as my brothers.) Nevertheless, my dad would pull the car over and tell them to be quiet before he gave them something to cry about. He had a technique of spanking that was somehow related to his skill as a percussion instructor. There was this snap of the wrist that would sting…

What did my brothers call each other? Booger-head, ugly-face, stupid, meanie, nose-picker… They had limited vocabularies.

We find ourselves in a confined space, going nowhere, and having differences of opinion. Of Course, we have differences of opinion! We all have different cultures, different growing environments, different experiences. We have the benefit of having lived through our own private hells. We have seen the beatific and the horrific. We are now adulting. (Adulting never used to be a word. Adult was what you aspired to be as soon as you discovered you could walk from here to there but had to hold hands when you crossed the street.) We do not have the luxury of being “sent to our rooms” because our rooms still have modes of communication. So we find ourselves in an enormous car as part of 328 million people in the back seat.

What brings this up? I’m seeing people who are parents and grandparents NAME CALLING! That’s right. But now they have bigger vocabularies, though, in most cases, not more extensive imaginations. We see people bullying others who don’t agree with them. We are seeing people shoving and pushing others and threatening violence and not a clue what they’re fighting for or against.

Remember when we misbehaved and we got grounded? We railed against the total injustice of it and tried to sneak out the window or send messages to our friends to break us out. There was always someone like the Fonz who would influence the “bad” side. Well, we got grounded because we did something stupid that endangered us or the people around us. Well. Duh! If you had the flu, didn’t you stay home from school and everything else? If the only thing you had to do was put on a mask to go out, wouldn’t you have done that? Well, we went out in the middle of a pandemic with no protection and no sense and got grounded, and the first thing we did was rail against an all-powerful government. Doesn’t that sound like teenagers? Yeah, throw those books on the floor and stomp around your room. The adults are watching the news and drinking wine while the kids are locked in the bedrooms.

Oh and our parents would tell us what to think when we were young, too. “Danged WPA! Look at these political cartoons in the paper! The country is going to the dogs I tell you!” Then we’d listen to the news and get a running commentary from our folks. After graduating from high school, we were expected to listen to the news and make our own decisions.

Well, now the commentary is coming directly from the newsmen. You tune into whatever politics you like and get their version. You find the same facts as every other news provider, but you get a completely different interpretation. We don’t ask questions regarding what we hear, we just want to know is that news or fake news? How can there be fake news? Isn’t that against the ethics of the news organizations? What escalates the situation is that people are NOT doing their own thinking and are lashing out at everyone around them with no big sister to chest punch them into submission. They are using unreliable sources of information. They’re taking rumor for truth. They’re ignoring rational thought and logical debate and have descended into elementary school behavior! You are ADULTS!

You WILL get along and you WILL be nice to each other or I WILL make you VERY uncomfortable! Don’t Make me turn this car around!

I’m Depressed

And the first question that comes up is this: “Why?”

Depression doesn’t need a reason. It is an emotion that doesn’t necessarily have any tangible relationship to an event or a time or a person. When Ann Frank was hiding, every morning she had a reason to be depressed, and she chose to be happy. Nobody Chooses to be depressed. We search, in vain, for a reason why we’re depressed and think, might be SAD–Seasonal Affective Disorder. We could believe that we miss our relatives and friends that have passed away. We could be discouraged that we couldn’t find presents for everyone, or that we didn’t get the presents we wanted (or thought we deserved.) But when you really look at it, depression comes; it stays; it messes you up; and then it leaves.

Well-meaning people try to distract us from this feeling by asking you, “Why are you depressed? You have everything to live for!” Then they list all the things you should be thankful for. Now you’re GUILTY and depressed. Or they get out the Dad jokes to try and lift your spirits. Now you feel ungrateful and your brain hurts because of the bad puns. They try to take you out on the town, but you don’t feel like putting on pants. You can’t get up the enthusiasm to do anything. You can’t even get into your favorite book. The worst is when they put on some sappy Hallmark movie so you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Mocking is the first thing that comes to mind.

Why is “Die Hard” considered a Christmas Movie? Why do people consider Hans Gruber’s drop from the top of the building the beginning of the Christmas Season? Was Hans’ great, great grandfather Franz Gruber–the man who wrote Silent Night? No? It’s because the only cure for depression is murder and mayhem and/or music by the Blues Brothers.

If you know someone that is depressed, do NOT tell them how they’re supposed to feel. It’s an emotion that is not easily directed. It’s like love. You cannot direct love in a way that you end up with the prom queen who happens to be a millionaire or toward the Stunt double for Dwayne Johnson. Telling a depressed person how to feel adds to the depression. Don’t force them into jolly devil-may-care activities because they Don’t Care. They don’t want to get out of bed or go through the effort of Going Someplace to Do Something. Don’t make them explain themselves. Do you think that depression has a cause and can be “cured” by getting rid of the cause? Depressed people don’t know why they’re depressed. You wake up with a malaise like you wake up with a stuffy nose. You can’t go back to the instant where you breathed in that virus. You have no idea where or when it was. Same with depression.

Watch some murder and mayhem and mock the characters or the action or the continuity. Listen to some rock and roll or jazz or blues or classical music. Be there with the person. They’ll be all right.

What a stupid response!

Do you ever find yourself responding to a friend who has been sucked into some bizzaro conspiracy theory? Now if you’re like me, I tend to hang out with people who are roughly in my intellectual range. I question everything, I redo the statistics, I do independent research (not just wiki…) and I think things through. I therefore assume that my friends have also done their due diligence.

For instance: in the 2016 election, Mrs. Clinton beat Mr. Trump by 3 million or so votes and the dems were screaming that we should go directly to popular vote and eliminate the electoral college so the rightful person would be in charge of the country. But, of course, we adhered to the established voting practices and the winner of the electoral college ballots won: Mr. Trump. The Republicans were smirking since they won the round. But Mr. Trump did not have the populace behind him. He had some very vocal supporters and he did everything controversial you could imagine, and history will have to judge how he affected the USA during his presidency.

Then, in 2020, Mr. Biden beat Mr. Trump by 7 million or so votes. In addition, he won the electoral college votes. Now the republicans are saying there was something shady when Biden only won 16.7% of the counties and still got the highest popular vote in history. Won? Well, on the map, it only shows those counties where he got over 80% of the vote as “winning” and they don’t show the counties that Mr. Trump won at all. The counties that Mr. Trump got 80%+ were low population counties. So if you consider the charge that the percentage of counties won by Biden was lowest on record, it doesn’t take the raw data into account. Counties don’t have individual votes, so the percentage of counties means nothing.

States have electoral votes based on the population of the state. So even if Mr. Trump had 80% of the most counties, if the raw population vote was insignificant, then the state’s vote for Trump would have no measurable impact on the final counts. The Electoral college was 306 to 232 in both elections. Trump got the 306 versus Clinton in the 2016 election, and Biden got the 306 in 2020. Where’s the controversy in that? Why is this so impossible to believe. Biden won the popular vote by 7 million votes, and won the electoral college 306 to 232. How is this stealing an election?

The election was in November and now it’s December. Why is this still an issue to discuss? If this next 4 years is anything like the last 20, congress will be in an adversarial relationship with the president and nothing will get done. They will whine and cry and conspire and drag their feet and things will not get done. You remember they spent 8 years debating his right to be president. (He was twice elected to the office even though the opposing party’s main focus in the first term was to Guarantee that the president didn’t Get a second term and they failed.) They insulted him and his family and fought him tooth and nail on every single issue. Then the moment Mr. Trump took office, he started reversing all the work that the previous president had done. I imagine they will be doing this for the four years Mr. Biden is in office instead of thinking of the citizens first. They insulted Mr. Trump and his family all four years and fought him tooth and nail on everything HE did.

This is not how a democracy works. This is how it locks up and gets paralyzed by inaction and infighting. They are not serving us at all. We have checks and balances…Executive, judicial and legislative branches to make sure no one has too much power. Well they left out the media–news and social and that skews everything.

Get this straight: Whether you voted for the winner or the loser, Mr. Biden IS your president. He is not going to send the National Guard into your bomb shelter to take away your guns, assign all your money to the lazy-assed Millennials and those drug-crazed welfare scammers. It takes too long for there to be noticeable changes in the fabric of society. The stuff that HW Bush did is just now being noticed, same with Clinton, George W, Obama…Delayed effects. Anything that Biden does will not be significant for much later in this decade. Oh, and scary thought: Those Millennials will be running the country soon. Better train them up. They shouldn’t think that the President is the person to whom everyone must rise against as an evil dictator that must be dethroned in his first 90 days in office.

Fracas and Round Green Vegies

That would be War and Peas

“I always eat peas with honey
I’ve done it all my life
It does make them taste kinda funny
But at least they stay on the knife.”

After 40 years as a mom, I learned something: some of my kids don’t like peas.

What? I LOVE peas! It’s funny since every time I served them, my kids ate them. They also ate carrots, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, asparagus. Whatever I served they ate. I always used fresh or frozen and the only time I used canned peas was in a tuna-macaroni salad. Now, I have some picky in-laws. If they don’t like something, they just don’t eat it. My kids may not like something that is served, but they eat it anyway. I was going to experiment and invite my kids over and serve only their least favorite foods. But I couldn’t bring myself to do that.

Did I ever sit at the table while a kid stared at his food watching it get cold for 2 1/2 hours? Of course. I warned the stubborn child that if he/she didn’t eat it now, I’d have it creamed on toast for breakfast, and ground-up with mayo and pickle relish for lunch, and in the salad the next night until it was alllllll gone! I didn’t have picky eaters at my house.

I remember once we invited a kid over for supper. I was serving spaghetti, and he announced he was having a hotdog. My kids thought that was really funny. I put a small serving of spaghetti on his plate and gave him the option of just cheese and butter or sauce and he looked at me as if I had eels on my head and asked, “Didn’t you hear me? I asked for a hotdog.” I told him I heard him but ignored him. He grabbed his stuff and went home. My kid was devastated. “How could you embarrass me like that?” It’s not my fault that the kid mistook my kitchen and dining table for a restaurant.

I probably damaged all my kids irretrievably that day.

But they all ATE PEAS when I served them.