Category Archives: attitude

VACATION!

Look at these pictures!  Aren’t they amazing?  Great Sand Dunes, a lovely peak with aspens in full color, another view of the aspens against a cobalt sky, and a church on the top of a big hill.  You know what the problem is on vacations though…food.  I ate food.  I’m not supposed to eat food.  New Mexican cuisine, burritos don’t taste like Taco Bell here.  I even had duck for dinner once!  What does that mean?  It means that now I’m at 218 pounds.  Holy Crap!  Almost 4 years at the gym, averaging 1500 calories/day, and I’m 15 pounds heavier than I was when I started.  That’s measurable.  That’s progress–meaning I’m moving somewhere.  Let’s face it.  I’m NEVER going to be in beach body shape.  But I needed that sound of the wind in the trees, the hawks soaring over, even the Ravens cry in the early morning.  I needed that smell of pine and cedar.  I needed that rain, sleet, snow, hail, 0 visibility, long hours in the car, purse full of postcards and memories of hikes, museums and galleries, and last but certainly not least, time with my best bud, my husband.  We even lost power in the town where we were staying.  2 hours of darkness in the hotel.  They weren’t worried, so I wasn’t worried.  The power came on with little ado.

oooo purdy 178

So yes that’s snow…and it got so thick when we left that we couldn’t see anything but the tail lights ahead of us until we were about 50 miles west of Ogallala, NE.

One week later, I was at a Girl Scout Camp Alumnae Event and we did low ropes activities and archery.  Sore?  Ok, the tops of my feet weren’t sore, but everything else was.  I’m still toooooooo weak on my left leg.  Dammit.  Then of course I had gained all that vacation weight.  I couldn’t transfer weight from good to recovering leg, and couldn’t balance on recovering leg and move good leg.  Couldn’t get to 2nd of the bosun chairs.  Hands hurt, legs and back and tummy hurt, arms hurt, eyebrows hurt?  It was fun because my daughter was there.  It was also a reminder that I am not, and have not made my fitness a priority.  It always takes a back seat to whatever I’m doing at the time.  Dang it.  I don’t like having fitness a priority in my life.  I want my LIFE to have priority–seeing things, doing things, experiencing things!  But OOPS, I can’t see things, do things or experience things in my current condition.

I guess I have to make it a priority until I am in a condition that I can have a life…tomorrow.

 

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I was raised differently

I follow several blogs.  A great many of them are success-oriented.  The interesting things they all have in common is that everyone is programmed from birth to be what they are now.  We all believe what we’re told between the ages of 0 and 6.  Our personality is set by age 6, and everything we do and think is what we’ve been told to do and think.  We put ourselves in bad places mentally and physically by our attitudes on life:

  • “Eat Drink and be Merry because tomorrow we Diet.  Wait… Die?”
  • “Life’s a Bitch and then you DIE.”
  • “When you Die you can’t take it with you.”
  • “You’ll never see a hearse pulling a U-Haul.”

The gist of this is that nothing we do on Earth matters, so you might as well enjoy your stinking life in your paycheck to paycheck job with your boring spouse and your over-scheduled kids.  Who wouldn’t want to take an automatic and shoot everyone in sight?!  There is no hope in this view of life.  But some people actually enjoy life.  That’s just wrong on so many levels.  They should feel guilty for how much time, freedom and money they have.  They should spend it on us because we have no time, no freedom and no money.  Why can’t we become people with time, freedom and money?  Because money is evil, or the root of all evil or the love of money is evil or something from that book that has the gold lettering and 2″ of dust on it.

  • “Money can’t buy you happiness.”
  • “Life would be better without money.”
  • “The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.”
  • “The poor will be with us always…until they all die of course.”

It’s true–money can’t buy your happiness.  Neither can NO money.  Money represents trade.  I trade what I have in goods and services for what I want from someone else’s goods and services.  I cannot trade music lessons for carrots, but I used to trade it for 1 gallon of fresh milk (directly from the cow to me!  I had to pasteurize it myself) and 2 dozen brown eggs.  I trade what I have in talent and time for a substitute type of currency (little pieces of paper with pictures of famous people on them) that I can use to trade for carrots.  I don’t have to find someone with carrots that has an interest in guitar lessons.  Much handier.  I can trade information on finances with someone that wants to trade information on history.  Although it would be mentally attractive, I cannot make stew with historical information.

Turns out, I was programmed differently.  I have suffered from that all my life.  One of the most asked questions in my family as I was growing up was, “What do you think?”  Silly me.  I thought everyone had this kind of discussions at home.  I was an outcast because I actually thought that what I thought was interesting, in-depth, and had some sort of worth to the people who surrounded me.  I was wrong.  I found out I had been programmed wrong…bad code.  People were people and just wore different skins and hair.  Some were good at thinking, some were good at working with their hands.  People were fascinating creatures.  We don’t all think alike or believe alike or act alike, and that makes humans interesting.  Somewhere, sometime, some people became aware that since not everyone thought alike, some must be right and the rest wrong.  Oops.  And since I didn’t think like that, I was wrong and was ridiculed for it.

Let’s just settle this here and now.  I’m right.  Now let’s go on from here.  There is more than one way to accomplish things. It is ok to make money.  It is ok to enjoy yourself.  It is ok to want freedom and time to do things.  Work is fun when you contribute to your society.  There is no one way to do that.  It’s like Paul described the church in the bible (1 Corinthians 12:12).  The reason the rich get richer is because the rich think differently than the poor.  The rich trade thoughts and innovation for money, the poor trade time and effort.  The rich look for assets–things that provide multiple income streams.  The poor look for a 52″ flat screen and diversion and put their money into liabilities.  So you could have a large bank account and still be poor because you look at the money as an asset instead of a tool to accumulate assets.  You could have a 0 bank account and be rich because you can trade your time and effort for an asset that brings in money regardless of your attention to it.

Jim Rohn says that every child should have 2 bicycles–one to ride and one to rent.  The child doesn’t have to ride both bicycles, and doesn’t even have to ride one.  He might rent both of them!  Then he could use the money to buy a 3rd bicycle.  See?  He now has a revenue stream.  The maintenance and repairs on the bikes might bite into the revenue stream, but it wouldn’t stop it.  Sooooo, the kid with 0 money goes and does odd jobs for the neighbors to earn money to buy the 1st bicycle.  He rents out the bicycle because he can’t ride it while he’s doing the odd jobs.  He has an active income stream from his own efforts, and a passive income stream from his little brother who rents the bike from him.  The kid now uses the profit to buy a second bike, and now can ride further around the neighborhood to do odd jobs and increases his territory.  He enlists the help of one of the neighborhood kids to do some of the work, and though they split the profits, the kid still has to rent the bike to get to the jobs.  If kid II doesn’t figure out what kid I is doing, he continues with this arrangement as long as Kid I continues to get jobs and rent him the bike.  Kid I becomes fairly well off.  Kid II has money for movies and snacks.  Which one becomes rich?  Kid I’s little brother is without a bike since Kid I rents it out to the neighborhood boy to help with his business.  Kid I’s little brother gets his own bike the same way by selling lemonade on the corner.  Then he adds cookies to the stand.  Then he boxes up some of the cookies and sells those.  Then he hires a neighborhood girl to run the stand and opens a 2nd stand in the neighborhood down the street.  The children in that household have figured out what assets are.

Was I programmed like this?  Why, yes, yes I was.  I cannot bring myself to work for others.   I do not have a 6 figure income.  I have been to Europe 3 times since I was married.  I have been in every state except Hawaii and Louisiana.  I paid cash for the $1450 repair on the car for a compressor.  I have investments that grant me multiple streams of income.  I am not rich because I have a big bank account, I am rich because I have multiple assets.  I have time, freedom and enough money to do what I want.

Once you are aware that where you are you programmed yourself to be, and where you want to go is also programmable, write the program!!!

How can I get better without hurting?

No Pain, No Gain.  Am I pushing my muscles and tendons and ligaments to their limits?  No.  I am walking to my car, up the stairs in my house, out in my yard to move my hose for the new planties.  So why am I so sore?  Am I doing extra work at the gym?  Am I getting a thorough work out at the Physical Therapist?  Well…  10 min of my workout in PT is spent with a warm pack on my leg.  It is followed by about 5 min of deep tissue massage (which really hurts especially around the screws in my appliance).  I then have about 3-5 min of ultrasound therapy.  20 min of non active therapy.  40 min of marching, standing on 1 leg, battement tendus (French ballet term), doing step ups, a hip sled, and stretching exercises.  But it didn’t hurt the day of or the day after.  So why is it hurting now?  Why do I still limp?  Why am I so hungry?  oh wait, next blog…stay on topic kid!

I’m finding it difficult to locate my center of gravity.  It seems when I stand on my recovering leg that my center is to the left of my leg and I’m leaning over to compensate.  I try to move my hips so my center of gravity is center.  That is most uncomfortable. 50833843-image-of-young-overweight-person-doing-exercise-at-home-while-standing-with-one-feetPasse

So that isn’t me, but do you see how the upper part of the body is tilted over the right side of the standing leg?  It should be centered over the foot and the right hip extended further so the upper body is straight up and down like the dancer on the right.  Yes, she’s holding onto a barre, but she could hold that position without the barre as well.  I cannot seem to get myself into that position.

Heck, I can’t walk on a tread mill without holding on because of the limp.  Driving me crazy.  9 months now, beginning the 10th month of recovery.  What a pain.

Congratulations! You’re cured!

I don’t get that assessment very often.  I got it from my orthopedic doctor yesterday.  But Doctor, I still hurt.  “Yup.  You’re going to hurt.”  But Doctor, I still limp.  “Yup, you still limp.”  How am I cured?  “Your leg is no longer broken.”  Ah.

Then, from the Physical Therapist…”You know, eventually you’ll have to be doing exercises on your own to keep making progress.  You have to get to the point where you don’t need us any more.”

Maybe I should have washed the clothes I wear to the appointments…though I didn’t notice anyone’s eyes tearing up and heard no retching noises.

I did get new shoes yesterday.  They are supposed to compensate for my outward roll on my right foot and support my weak left leg.  Both have a very high arch support in them.  I feel like my foot is sliding off the center of the shoe.  They felt ok in the store though.  Is there a thing where when you cross the threshold, the shoes have a trigger that turns off the comfort level?  I guess I’ll find out if it works in a few days.

So for all intents and purposes, my leg is healed.  It still hurts to stand on it for any length of time, and I cannot go up and down stairs like I used to.  But…

IT’S PROGRESS!

 

Oh Yesssss!

So yesterday, I talked about the way people in the US use any occasion to get out of work and imbibe to stupidity.

What are the things most prized here?  They were the good old American Work Ethic and our Puritan beliefs which, by the way, no one currently knows or understands.  The Puritans were not against alcohol, but drinking to excess.  The Puritans were not against leisure of any sort, but they assigned it to Sundays.  The Puritans were not against sex, it was just relegated to marriage.  The American Work Ethic was basically this:  Work so you can eat and have the necessities of life.

What is the thing that everyone seeks?  It’s a way of life that does not require a work ethic and is based on hedonist beliefs.  We desire what would be considered sinful.  Ah!  People prefer to put themselves first in every situation.  Look at Eve.  “Ooo! If I eat this, I’ll have the knowledge of Good AND Evil?  Then I’ll be just like GOD?  Gimme gimme!”  She was thinking of herself.  Cain was thinking of himself.  This is ongoing.  Now it is passe to think of “sin” and just call it a life choice.  The perspective has changed.  Anything I want to do should be legal.  It feels so good it can’t be bad.  It feels so right it can’t be wrong.  It’s hypocritical to think that we can legislate morality if no one in the country wants a moral compass because that would lead to lowering our self image.  We NEED to define sin for our society to function and we CANNOT define sin because there’s a separation of church and state (which is no where in the constitution by the way.)

The First Amendment (Amendment I) to the United States Constitution prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, ensuring that there is no prohibition on the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble, or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances. (Thank you Wiki)

So we go merrily along our way doing whatever the heck we want until someone gets hurt and then we get arrested for doing something stupid.  Did you know they actually had a “sin tax?” A sin tax is an excise tax specifically levied on certain goods deemed harmful to society, for example alcohol and tobacco, candies, drugs, soft drinks, fast foods, coffee, sugar, and gambling.  (Thank you Wiki)  If it’s too expensive, we won’t buy these goods and thereby save our society from sugar-high drunken smokers who crash into fast food drive thru windows.  And if it doesn’t work, the tax should pay for the damage.  Doh!

So we reward ourselves for doing something good by doing something bad.  How typically American.  “I worked for a year for this vacation!  So now I’m going to Las Vegas and lose all my bonus, get stupid drunk, cheat on my spouse and make me regret having worked all year.”  “I worked for a month to lose these 2 pounds!  I’m going to have 2 pounds of cake to celebrate…”  oops.  “I’ve been sober 2 years, 6 months, 3 days and 14 hours!  Let’s have some champagne!”  Let’s turn every holiday into an excuse to get drunk and over eat.  Let’s buy a car that goes 200 mph so we can drive 70 on the interstate.  We long to do sinful things because we are sinful people.  It has a certain adrenaline rush when you know you’re doing something illegal or immoral, and you think to yourself, it won’t hurt anyone, so it’s ok.  If it’s illegal or immoral, don’t do it.  Actions have consequences.

Morals are not something you legislate, they come from upbringing and reverence for life.  We have so many in prison because we don’t acknowledge that fact.  Nearly all of the Non-violent crime and so many of the violent crime involves no reverence for life.  It’s not a hard concept.  With moral law, we don’t need as many civil laws to protect people.  Moral law is written on the heart and is enforced by the conscience.

Does it hurt people?  Don’t do it.  Does it endanger your health or life?  Don’t do it.  Does it threaten someone’s livelihood?  Don’t do it.  Is it selfish and petty?  Don’t do it.  Would your grandma do it?  No?  Don’t do it.  You don’t do it and you teach your children not to do it, and your grandchildren not to do it, and your neighbors and their children not to do it.  You show your friends how not to do it, your enemies how you don’t do it, and YOURSELF how you don’t do it because you revere all life.

So if you do stupid things because you’re trying to escape your world, count your blessings and grow up.  If you are doing bad things because you can, and your only worry is getting caught, you have a serious social problem.

In any case, in all cases, treat people and property with respect.  It’s what you do.  Then fewer stupid things will happen and we’ll all be better off!

 

Oh NOOOO!

I am so disillusioned!  I thought Sinko de Mayo was when you ate mayonnaise by the sink!  Now I find out it’s a DATE?  5th of May…who knew

Apparently nobody.  Cinco De Mayo has nothing to do with Mexican Independence, that was September 16, 1810.  It is a celebration of an underdog victory–the Mexicans beat the French on May 5.  It is usually celebrated by military parades in Mexico.  In the US though, it is a holiday where all the gringos switch to tequila to get drunk.

St. Patrick’s day is a solemn occasion that reveres St. Patrick who was instrumental in converting Ireland to Catholicism. But in the USA, everyone wears green and they dye the water in the Chicago river green as well.  There’s parades and pub crawls, and it has nothing to do with the celebration of St. Patrick’s day.

New Year’s Day is when we make our resolutions and reflect on the past year.  Unless you’re from the US, then you start drinking Dec 30 and get so blasted that they pass out and miss the momentous occasion at midnight on the 31st.

What is it about Americans that we use every excuse to get a day off work and get drunk or high to excess?  How is that fun?  Why do people look for occasions to escape their lives–either by running away from work or spouse or kids or becoming unconscious?  Being drunk isn’t fun.  You can’t see, you can’t talk right, you can’t walk straight, you throw up, you pass out, you lose your inhibitions and do really stupid things that you regret for a long time after.  Why do they have to make low-calorie beer?  Is it to entice you to drink more since you won’t then gain weight?  What is the matter with people?!

It has a lot to do with how people see themselves.  It is not with a small amount of discomfort that I refer to myself as fat and give my fat “sentience” and a name (Obie) and a personality.  If people see themselves as trapped in a job, or in a relationship, or by circumstance with a family, they will engage in escape behavior.  I’ve been good all week!  I deserve to have that cake, since nothing I do will ever make me thin…  Counter intuitive don’t you think?  I will engage in a drinking binge where I end up in a motel with someone I don’t know and have no recollection of the whole night.  That should fix my broken marriage.  What kind of idiot thinks like that?  Quit crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.  Wouldn’t the end result be continued crying at a louder volume and a longer period of time?  Nobody is addressing the root cause of the issue.    We shouldn’t have to feel a need to escape.  We’re not in a hopeless situation.  We’re not fleeing to Canada or Mexico.  (BTW, Are the anti trump celebrities still here?)  We have 46 million people in the US that are foreign born.  People want to come here.  All those other societies with free health care, and better schools and better understanding of immigrants etc, only have a fraction of the number of people going to the US.  How long will the myth of the American dream last?  Longer than you might think.

They all think we’re rich.  We consider ourselves living paycheck to paycheck and just barely scraping by…with a new car, a 52″ screen TV, food of every imaginable type available EVERYWHERE and for EVERYONE.  No lines for staples like bread and milk that run out.

Our WORST problem is that we’re all fat.  Poor Americans, they have too much food.  But we’re the ones trying to escape our lives?  Good morning America…count your blessings.

It’s raining

It’s Pouring, the Old Man is Snoring…

Ok I’m snoring.  I’m lying on my side in the Physical Therapist’s office on a padded table with a heating pad on my leg.  It’s really heavy and it’s moist heat.  *beep*  Time for the ultra sound.  zzzzzzz.  *beep*  “Were you sleeping?”  Me?  No.  Why do you ask?  “Because normally people who are awake don’t snore.”  oh

She really really worked my IT band–the tendon that connects the hip and the knee.  Iliotibial band it’s called.  I’m cross-eyed in pain…and also I don’t have my glasses on so I may not be cross-eyed, just blurry.  ANYWAY, after the torture comes the exercises.  Leg lift with 2 lb. weights, side lift with same weight (OWIE!  that one’s hard.)  Hamstring stretch 3 x at 30 seconds.  Leg extensions with 3 lb weight.  Leg curl with blue band resistance.  Calf stretch 3 x at 30 seconds.  Hip glider machine, 3 springs, 15 times.  Sideways stepping, marching then on to the box.  It’s 4″ box I step up on my bad leg, touch my right toe and then step back down.  15 of those.  After that, I step up on my bad leg and then continue forward and step down on my good leg.  15 of those.  5 min on the tread mill, lvl 1.

Then I walk out of the office.  I don’t limp for a good 45 min after that.  Then I sit down and of course it tightens up again, but I’m not limping as bad.  But it’s raining.  I have to limp fast to get to the car!  So I am making measurable progress.

I do have a question though.  You all know how hard it is for me to loose weight.  Very strict diet, and I do as much exercise as I can given my current physical state.  Do the probiotics work?  Could I have a digestive problem instead of a calorie problem?

Weirdness

I went to the gym on Tuesday, then Thursday.  *grins*  and now weirdness has set in.  My good hip is cramping, and my injured hip “pops.”  It feels like the muscle catches on something and then releases like a rubber band.  The funny thing is that after 5 min on the treadmill, my ARMS hurt.

Tuesday, I did the interval training on the stationary bike, lvl 3 and lvl 8 like earlier.  Then the 5 min on the tread mill at lvl 1 speed and lvl 1 elevation.  Thursday, I did the sit up, stand and twist exercise.  I use the inclined bench. I hold a 10 pound weight on my chest while I lie on the bench, then I rise to a sitting position and stand up in one motion.  Then I twist left and right without moving my hips then return to the lying down position again.  I did 3 sets of 15.  This was followed the 5 min on the treadmill on lvl 1 and 1.  Argh!

The popping sensation doesn’t hurt, so I don’t think I’m tearing muscle, but it is annoying.

In case you’re wondering, and even if you’re not, I am monitoring my carb intake and protein.  I cannot get enough protein without getting lots of fat.  It seemed that I was awfully busy this week!!!  But I continued to eat right.  I went to bed before midnight every night I was so tired.  I guess that’s a good thing as more sleep helps you realize you’re not desperate for food and on the hunt for a week.  At least that’s how I understand the psychology.

What I don’t understand is that it’s not calories in versus calories out, or energy expended in working out, or strength in both voluntary and involuntary muscle that causes weight gain or loss…it’s psychology.  I HATE psychology.  I prefer math, statistics, biochemistry and physiology.   There’s no “theory” there at least at the level I’m working at.  It’s facts and numbers and chemical reactions and such.  You can put the numbers to paper and do this and this and this and you get that result.  But no….If your body thinks (that’s like saying if your pillow thinks, or your chair thinks…) that there may be a problem getting food, it will store up food for a rainy day.  In other words, if you skip a meal, you get fatter.  If your body thinks that it has to stay up longer in order to protect itself or look for food, it stores more food.  In other words, if you stay up all night playing video games, you get fatter.  Even if you don’t stay up all hours of the night and eat regularly, if you don’t eat enough calories, your body thinks to itself, “Self, this person is crazy, store up more food!  We have no idea what’s coming up next!!!”  and you get fatter.  C’MON body!  Get with the program!  Do the MATH!  You already have too much stored, and the rats are going to get it or it will spoil!  (Body laughs knowingly…fat doesn’t spoil!)  Yes it does, did you smell that old Crisco we threw out last week?  (Body is shocked.  Body isn’t very smart.  Body is a pillow.)  I want to smack Body.  Body is not supposed to think.  NOOOO, could it be?  It ISN’T body that’s thinking!!!  It’s OBE.  (remember Obe?  The name I gave to my sentient fat?)  Obe laughs uproariously.   (check my previous blog)   “Obe!  Look!  A Donut!!!”  Obe runs for the donut, I close the door and lock him in.  Obe is not happy.

Fail

All that work.  I’m a failure.  How useless am I?  Why even try?

Wow, I read this from a friend of mine and thought that sounded familiar.  Oh yeah.  I said that.  I jumped into my teaching/coaching mode and asked some questions to change the direction of his thinking and then formulated a plan of instruction to lead him to a better conclusion.  Silly me.  I should have done that on myself!!!

Why didn’t I?  It’s harder to get perspective when you’re in the middle of the mess.  When you’re stuck in a hole, all you can see is hole.  You don’t see the birds and the clouds and the trees and the snow and the… see?  All you see is the hole.  Someone yells down the hole, “YOU SHOULD SEE THIS LOVELY SUNSET!”  And of course you’re thinking, “What’s a sunset?  I’m in a hole.”  Someone else yells down, “I JUST HEARD THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BIRDSONG!”  I’m hearing dripping noises.  “YOU SHOULD TRY THIS MARVELOUS DINNER!”  I’m in a hole–there’s no food down here.  The people outside of the hole think that motivating you will get you out of the hole.  Send someone down with a rope!

Failing at something is a normal process.  If you were good at something from the beginning, you wouldn’t grow, you wouldn’t add to your knowledge or wisdom, you wouldn’t get stronger or more flexible.  A failure is not someone that tries and goofs up. A failure is someone that doesn’t try anything new.   Too much psychology spends time in labeling people and situations.  All those silly tests and quizzes on Facebook tend to help you explore your giftedness and then slap a label on you.  Which villain are you?  Which Celtic myth are you?  Which Harry Potter professor are you?  Why do we do these quizzes?  How do you feel when you discover that you’re too wimpy and kind-hearted to be a villain?  Are you disappointed?  What if you find out your not Celtic?  What if you turn out to be the janitor in Harry Potter?  Does that make you feel bad?  I took a Hymn quiz and got 100%.  This meant I was the elite of Catholics.  I took the same test that said I was in the top 1% of Lutherans.  Wait…  It was the exact same questions!  So what does that mean?

We have been led to believe that we must fit into a category or a description.  We belong to this group or that group.  We succeed or we fail.  But that is not the case.  In order to succeed, you have to fail.  It is not the million dollars you’ve saved, it is the person you had to become to save it.  It is not the marathon you finished in record time, it was the hours and hours of trying and failing that allowed you to run the marathon.  It is not the straight A’s, but the student you have to become to get them.  Each journey will have failures in it.  You have to fall short in order to grow enough to succeed.

I failed in my diet yesterday.  Yes, it was mostly protein–cheese, summer sausage,ham and cheese ball with Triscuits.  Then I had homemade eggnog.  Wow!  I love that stuff!  But I am not a failure.  I will eat well today.  I will do my PT exercises.

Failure is not a character trait, it is just a measure against a goal you set that tells you how far you need to go.  Have you reached it?  “Not yet.”

And if you know someone in a hole, get in there with them and work things out together.  Happy New Year.

On the Road again

I couldn’t believe it.  I was soooo happy for something like this to happen.  A couple of years ago, I would have thought someone who was looking forward to doing this activity was absolutely insane.  What was it?  I got on the stationary bike for 30 min.

??  Believe it or not it was a major step forward.  A while back, I would get on the bike and watch SVU with subtitles to take my mind off this odious task.  It was in no way pleasurable.  It was boring and it put my butt to sleep.  It tired me out and made me hurt the next day.  Who could look at that and be excited?

After I broke my hip last August, I was restricted to walking with crutches.  When they put that much metal in your hip, they have to move a lot of muscle and tendons to work on it.  This means there’s a lot of swelling and bruising, and the recovery time is long–6 months to a year.  It hurts.  It hurts to lie down, to sit, to stand, to walk, to drive…  But you soldier on.  The doctor was pleasantly surprised on how well I was moving.  The physical therapist was amazed to see how much weight I could put on it, and how well I articulated my foot.  I was confused.  I didn’t think I was making much progress at all.  I was frustrated.  It still hurt.  In fact it continues to hurt.  How was I to strengthen this leg?

xray-3-11-8-16-001

bionic hip

I was given some exercises to strengthen the leg and I did those when I went to the gym.

Of course, it occurred to me that it was silly to work just the leg angle when I could do a myriad of upper body exercises while I was there.  Granted, my forearms, shoulders and triceps were getting a workout from using the crutches, however I added biceps, back, abs, and chest exercises just to round things out.  One day, I did stand-ups from an inclined bench.  I lay down on the bench, sat up and continued into a standing position, then sat down again.  Sitting down without using my hands was new (and scary) but I didn’t have far to go to get my butt onto a surface, so I didn’t have to worry about falling.  The next week, I added a 10 lb. weight and a twist after I stood up.  I was getting stronger.

So last Tuesday, I rode the bike!  30 min!  Of course, it was level 1.  My trainer had me go 4 min on 1 and then boosted it up to lvl 5 for a minute.  I was SO excited.

I haven’t had as much water this week as I did last week.  I feel so dry now!  Need to drink some more.

I’m back to the weight I was when I started this journey 3 years ago.  208.9  Dam.  But I’m healing!  YAY!