Category Archives: Uncategorized

Uh Oh…

Received this:Creepy home invader

12/1  Elf arrives at house with naughty/nice list and Elf’s name is at top of Naughty list.

12/2 Elf empties flour on kitchen floor and makes “flour” angel

12/3 Parent calls 911 about home invasion.

12/4 Elf arrested for trespassing, vagrancy and vandalism.

12/5 Elf posts bail with the money he stole out of Parent’s pockets.

12/6 No sign of elf, but All belt loops on dress pants in closet cut off. Chef’s knife missing from kitchen.

12/7 Tiny foot prints outside parents’ bedroom window and all the left shoes taken from Mother’s closet.

12/8 Parents up all night with weapons of mass destruction getting no sleep whatsoever.

12/9 Parents late to work and groggy from lack of sleep.

12/10 Elf posed on night stand next to alarm clock with very large, very sharp knife.

12/11 Sheriff’s department orders psyche evaluation on parents. Elf poses unobtrusively on mantel. No sign of knife.

12/12 Mother committed for further evaluation. Father commits elf-iside and buries remains in sand box in back yard.

12/13 suspicious hole in sand box, and tiny sandy tracks into back door of house into basement.

12/14 No sign of elf, but seems to be something scurrying in the walls of house…

12/15 Elf, sitting on couch with head in lap turns TV way up and is watching Chucky.

12/16 Family moves to remote Island in the North Sea…

12/25 Package hand delivered by a Giant with a pink frilly umbrella that says: Merry Christmas! See you next year, Signed Elf.

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CW challenge

https://dailyflabbergast.wordpress.com/2018/09/18/cw-a-place-of-rest/

“Write a four line poem about a haunted house. (Do this two times: once where each line rhymes and then again with no rhyming at all.)”
– a prompt for this week’s CW piece.
[Source: @DailyPrompt]

Who was here?

Were they dear?

Are they near?

Should I fear?!

 

Creaks and groans are normal with these homes

Agents say it’s just a bit of charm

I hear footsteps–round my bed they creep

“Squeeze your eyes shut! You won’t want to see!”

Phish Tales

Why are those that choose to use phishing to get private information such idiots?  Now I know that they’re successful enough of the time to continue in this behavior, but I’m not sure how.

1st of all, when you spend so much time replicating the notices that legitimately come out on occasion, the font, the logos the wording (and I’ll address that next), why do you have a return address like this:

  •  Apple Payment <detail.app-paymentinvoice12959@todtodtod-kentod2.com>
  •  Apple Support <no-reply-lockedaccountlockedupdated.mail.live-host1257@thereisatime.com>

That would seem to send up some red flags don’t you think?  Outwardly, these look like legit mails.  But now, I scroll over the senders to see if they have interesting addresses.

Next, when you are attempting to get information from the receiver, shouldn’t you make your message as clear and understandable as possible?  How hard is it to get spellcheck to work?

Your membership has reached ilJKO6fnG3qtlJKO6fnG3qslJKO6fnG3q lJKO6fnG3qexpiry daYTYMDJUXNMIIBCEtYTYMDJUXNMIIBCEeYTYMDJUXNMIIBCE YTYMDJUXNMIIBCEiYTYMDJUXNMIIBCEnYTYMDJUXNMIIBCE YTYMDJUXNMIIBCEsYTYMDJUXNMIIBCEpYTYMDJUXNMIIBCEiYTYMDJUXNMIIBCEtYTYMDJUXNMIIBCEeYTYMDJUXNMIIBCE YTYMDJUXNMIIBCEoYTYMDJUXNMIIBCEfYTYMDJUXNMIIBCE YTYMDJUXNMIIBCEtYTYMDJUXNMIIBCEh9292Qn3832XWMORe9292Qn3832XWMOR 9292Qn3832XWMORr9292Qn3832XWMORe9292Qn3832XWMORm9292Qn3832XWMORi9292Qn3832XWMORn9292Qn3832XWMORd9292Qn3832XWMORe9292Qn3832XWMORr9292Qn3832XWMORsytymdjuxnmiibce ytymdjuxnmiibcesytymdjuxnmiibceeytymdjuxnmiibcenytymdjuxnmiibcedytymdjuxnmiibce ytymdjuxnmiibcebytymdjuxnmiibceyytymdjuxnmiibce ytymdjuxnmiibceeytymdjuxnmiibcemytymdjuxnmiibceaytymdiytymdlytymdlytymd
T9292qn3832h9292qn3832eZQMM6MFA1Vr9292qn3832eZQMM6MFA1Vf9292qn3832oZQMM6MFA1Vr9292qn3832eZQMM6MFA1V, wZQMM6MFA1VeZQMM6MFA1V mZQMM6MFA1VuZQMM6MFA1VsZQMM6MFA1Vt9292qn3832 l9292qn3832oZQMM6MFA1VcZQMM6MFA1VkZQMM6MFA1V yZQMM6MFA1VoZQMM6MFA1VuZQMM6MFA1Vr9292qn3832 AZQMM6MFA1Vp9292qn3832p9292qn3832l9292qn3832eZQMM6MFA1V IZQMM6MFA1VD9292qn3832 t9292qn3832eZQMM6MFA1VmZQMM6MFA1Vp9292qn3832oZQMM6MFA1Vr9292qn3832aZQMM6MFA1Vr9292qn3832iZQMM6MFA1Vl9292qn3832yZQMM6MFA1V f9292qn3832oZQMM6MFA1Vr9292qn3832 sZQMM6MFA1VeZQMM6MFA1VcZQMM6MFA1VuZQMM6MFA1Vr9292qn3832iZQMM6MFA1Vt9292qn3832yZQMM6MFA1V r9292qn3832eZQMM6MFA1VaZQMM6MFA1VsZQMM6MFA1VoZQMM6MFA1Vn9292qn3832(sZQMM6MFA1V).
iytymdnytymd ytymdoytymdrytymddytymdeytymdrytymd ytymdtytymdoytymd jYHtDoOAEjgjYHtDoOAEjrjYHtDoOAEjujYHtDoOAEjajYHtDoOAEjnjYHtDoOAEjtjYHtDoOAEjejYHtDoOAEjejYHtDoOAEj jYHtDoOAEjtjYHtDoOAEjhjYHtDoOAEjejYHtDoOAEj jYHtDoOAEjcjYHtDoOAEjojYHtDoOAEjnjYHtDoOAEjfjYHtDoOAEjijYHtDoOAEjdjYHtDoOAEjejYHtDoOAEjnjYHtDoOAEjtjYHtDoOAEjijYHtDoOAEjajYHtDoOAEjljYHtDoOAEjijYHtDoOAEjtjYHtDoOAEjyjYHtDoOAEj jYHtDoOAEjojYHtDoOAEjf18535274514776245523 18535274514776245523y18535274514776245523o18535274514776245523u18535274514776245523r18535274514776245523 18535274514776245523d18535274514776245523a18535274514776245523t18535274514776245523a18535274514776245523,18535274514776245523 18535274514776245523y18535274514776245523o18535274514776245523u18535274514776245523 18535274514776245523w18535274514776245523i18535274514776245523l18535274514776245523l18535274514776245523 18535274514776245523n18535274514776245523e18535274514776245523e18535274514776245523d18535274514776245523 18535274514776245523t18535274514776245523o18535274514776245523 18535274514776245523c18535274514776245523o18535274514776245523m18535274514776245523p18535274514776245523l18535274514776245523e48.253.168.96t48.253.168.96e48.253.168.96 48.253.168.96t48.253.168.96h48.253.168.96e48.253.168.96 48.253.168.96r48.253.168.96e48.253.168.96n48.253.168.96e48.253.168.96w48.253.168.96a48.253.168.96l48.253.168.9648.253.168.96o48.253.168.96f48.253.168.96 48.253.168.96y48.253.168.96o48.253.168.96u48.253.168.96r48.253.168.96 48.253.168.96d48.253.168.96e48.253.168.96t48.253.168.96a48.253.168.96i48.253.168.96l48.253.168.96s48.253.168.96.48.253.168.96 48.253.168.96P48.253.168.96l48.253.168.96e48.253.168.96a48.253.168.96s48.253.168.96e48.253.168.96 48.253.168.96ubjropnxcdepbjropnxcdedbjropnxcdeabjropnxcdetbjropnxcdeebjropnxcde bjropnxcdeybjropnxcdeobjropnxcdeubjropnxcderbjropnxcde bjropnxcdeAbjropnxcdepbjropnxcdepbjropnxcdelbjropnxcdeebjropnxcde bjropnxcdeIbjropnxcdeDbjropnxcde bjropnxcdetbjropnxcdeobjropnxcde bjropnxcderbjropnxcdeebjropnxcdebjropnxcdeabjropnxcdecbjropnxcdecbjropnxcdeebjropnxcdesbjropnxcdesbjropnxcde bjropnxcdeabjropnxcdesbjropnxcde bjropnxcdeubjropnxcdesbjropnxcdeubjropnxcdeabjropnxcdelbjropnxcde bjropnxcdebbjropnxcdeybjropnxcde bjropnxcdecbjropnxcdelbjropnxcdeobjropnxcdecbjropnxcdekbjropnxcdeibjropnxcdenbjropnxcdegNX84 NX84tNX84hNX84eNX84 NX84lNX84iNX84nNX84kNX84NX84bNX84elJKO6fnG3qllJKO6fnG3qolJKO6fnG3qwlJKO6fnG3q lJKO6fnG3qalJKO6fnG3qslJKO6fnG3q lJKO6fnG3qsNX84oNX84oNX84nNX84 NX84aNX84sNX84 NX84yNX84oNX84uNX84 NX84rNX84eNX84cytymdjuxnmiibceeytymdjuxnmiibceiytymdjuxnmiibcevytymdjuxnmiibceeytymdjuxnmiibce ytymdjuxnmiibcetbjropnxcdehbjropnxcdeibjropnxcdesbjropnxcde NX84eNX84mNX84aNX84iNX84lNX84.NX84.

That’s what happens when you copy and paste the message.  The actual message that shows up is this:

Your membership has reached its expiry date in spite of the reminders sent by emaill Therefore, we must lock your AppleID temporarily for security reason(s).  in order to gruantee the confidentiality of your data, you will need to complete the renewal of your details.  Please update your AppleID to re-access as usual by clocking the link below as soon as you receive this email.

Thanks you

Apple Support Team

Wouldn’t it be an expiration date instead of an expiry date?  How many emaills did they send? It seems that someone who is not a native English speaker sent the mail or they wouldn’t have used reason(s) either.  What is a gruantee?  They get confidentiality spelled right, but mess up guarantee?  How do you Clock a Link?  Thanks you?

I know, this is a weird thing to rant on, but for heaven’s sake, I get 2-3 of these a week from Apple, and from PayPal and FaceBook and a nearly every service you can think of.  All of them are badly done with incorrect capitalization, misspelled words, awkward syntax, and horrific grammar.  AND!!!!  They can have all these abominations of English in only 3 sentences?!!  At least the Nigerians have a legitimate reason for foreign-sounding mails!  So yes it seems weird to take such care to spoof messages from legitimate companies and then screw up the message.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not want to HELP them get better, but goodness gracious, it hurts my brain to read them!

 

 

Now I know

Now, I know.  When I write stuff, nobody reads it.  I’m writing for myself.  The information and wisdom I have to share is unwanted and unneeded.  Must not all be that wise or needed huh.  I will never have 18k followers, or 5k followers, and the 34 that do, don’t read my stuff.  After 4-5 years of blogging, this is a failure.

Good bye

Keto Doh

I have been on this Keto diet for over a year.  Have not lost a single pound.

I looked at my MyFitness digest and discovered the following:

The Keto diet recommends 20-50g of carbs/day.  It doesn’t seem to have a goal for protein, but it does for fat.  I was doing EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what the Keto diet required.  Though I was about 1200 calories average, actually less, I was nearly 3 times the number of carbs/day.  Oh for crying in the mud.

Start over.  I am up on exercise however this month.

Enigmatic Jobs

OK, full story…Jobs was dating this girl and she got pregnant and he left.  He claimed he was sterile.  That’s funny since he married and had 3 kids about 10 years later.  His kid, Lisa, tried to establish a relationship with Jobs, but found him to be distant and cold towards her.

OK, so add a beard and glasses to Sheldon.  

He was NOT a warm and fuzzy guy.

Steve Jobs had been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and his daughter by Chrisann Brennan went to see him.  She doused herself with rose water perfume and went in to give him a hug.  He told her she smelled like a toilet.

I wanna go to HIS house!  The toilets smell like roses?  Mine doesn’t smell like that!  It smells of bleach and air freshener and, well, you know…

Reminds me of the air freshener saleswoman.  She’d had a cream cheese bagel and stepped onto the elevator when the inevitable happened.  As she was the only occupant, anyone stepping into the elevator would know who the culprit was.  But as a saleswoman, she was prepared and sprayed the whole car with pine scent.  Sure enough, a man stepped onto the elevator car and took a whiff.  He started to smile.  “Oh.  You’re smiling.  Is that good?”  The man replied, “Smells like someone sh!t a pine tree.  I was just checking the floor for pine needles.”

Steve Jobs last impression of his daughter was the smell of a toilet?  If I’d been her, I would have farted on my way out of the room.

HELP!

I read an interesting blog the other day from an Inmate Blogger.  I decided to follow him.  Oops.  I don’t get blogs from just the one I read but 15-20/day from allllll of the inmate bloggers!  Some are terrific.  Some are gawdawful.  I can’t keep up!

A Quick(ish) Explanation of Popular Conspiracy Theories

if you’re feeling increasingly put upon by the elite, there’s a conspiracy for you listed here. Pick one and make a sign and stand outside the edifice that you believe is most appropriate. Be prepared to face the consequences…especially if you protest the Clinton Body bags…for obvious reasons.

Puppettron's Blog

We live in Interesting Times. Those of you who are scholars of of made-up Chinese curses, whether you’re aware of them being made-up or not, know exactly why I capitalized those words. This can be demonstrated by how much of our time is now being made to debunk conspiracy theories in our daily life, as the belief in the weird and powerful has literally seeped into every portion of our life. So, rather than debunk them, I thought I’d explain what’s actually driving them in the normally sensible people in your life. A warning though, this is going to get horrifying soon, and I’ll put the worst stuff under the cut so you can read it on your own.

The Flat Earth

Largely considered the most ridiculous thing anyone could believe and incorrectly considered the reason Christopher Columbus had such a hard time with financing until he tried Spain –…

View original post 1,678 more words

PHYSICS BE DANGED

I had a wonderful time at Ant Man and Wasp!  Such innovative fight choreography!  Such fun in the imaginative scenery going to the quantum level…but

The shrinking technology is based on the assumptions that you are reducing the space between atoms.  There is a reason that certain distances between atoms exist.  The inner pressure of the atom prevents incursion of other atoms.  It is like stuffing people into an elevator.  If you were to put all the people into a blender, they wouldn’t take up as much room and then you could put more people into the elevator.  I could see how the blender might be objectionable to people going to meetings or on their ways home.  The fact is this:  even if you eliminated the space between people, the mass of the people would remain unchanged.  500 pounds of people is 500 pounds of people, whether intact or blended.

(I have to apologize, I’ve been watching too many “Bones” episodes.  So this gooey example may not entice you to read the rest of the blog.  Have no fear!  There are some funny moments coming!  Read On!)

What does that do for our plot?  A couple of things come to mind.  How heavy do you think a building is?  Tons and tons right?  So if they shrank the lab building, even if they managed to put it on a dolly or hand cart, it would crush the hand cart and you still would be unable to move it.  Superman would have problems with it.  Not even John Cena could do it.  So we suspend our belief for just that moment where they shrink the building, put it on a hand cart and throw it in the back of the van.  (Picture the bottom of the van hitting the pavement with the front up in the air, all 4 tires crushed.)  Then they try stealing it, grabbing this building and throwing it around.  We’re talking tons of steel, glass and concrete being caught one handed by someone who has problems moving their luggage in the airport.  Wait, it gets better.  Our heroes get the building back and in order to escape the bad guys, shrink the van they’re driving with the building inside.  It is now matchbox sized and that makes a 30 story building the size of a dime.  When you get that many atoms into that small a space, wouldn’t the temperature go up?  They’d have to do some major Air conditioning to cool it so it wouldn’t explode.

Here’s the kicker…this building is sitting in our sidekick’s LAP.  Think about it.  You have a multi-ton building with temperatures approaching several 1000 degrees sitting in this guy’s lap.  I’m thinking this might be a tad uncomfortable.

Then our heroes shrink themselves down to the quantum level.  Wait.  Quantum physics involves energy and particles on a scale smaller than atomic scale.  So you’re taking something made of atoms and making it smaller than atoms.  What could go wrong?  What happens when you shrink the distance between the atoms and then compress the atoms to be smaller than atoms?  Black hole?  oops.  Then you release the pressure on the guy to let him return to regular size.  I’m not sure any release of the pressure could be gradual, and you are moving from nano-sized to human sized in a matter of seconds…  Sounds like an explosion to me.  Think mushroom cloud.

What happens when he expands to 60 some feet?  Same number of molecules in his body, just further apart.  Like a balloon.  I would think he’d have some cohesion challenges.  “Oh NO!  My head just floated away!”  Lord help him if he sneezes!  He could blow himself into another county!

So yeah, it was a very enjoyable movie and I fully intend to buy the DVD when it comes out.  But, consequences people.  Consequences!

 

Jurassic World II–a long way to a bad end

So it’s decades after the dinosaurs have escaped their island.  That people don’t recognize this as dangerous is, of course, par for the course.  Now, every upscale person has Compys as pets.  Responsible people naturally have them trained and neutered as they are rather prolific.  They are pack hunters so keeping the numbers down would be the prudent thing to do…but not Gerald.

Gerald believes these animals should live in their natural habitat.  He doesn’t believe in neutering or shots.  And he is vehemently against training.  One day, his compys attack and kill the mailman.  The cops arrest him and he comes to trial.

The prosecutor is relentless.  “You let them BREED?  How many do you Have?”

I don’t know.  They’re living creatures!  Humans shouldn’t intrude on natural processes!

“You didn’t train them to come to eat or how to act around humans?  At all?”

Of course not!  They’re wild creatures, they are not meant to be trained!

The defendant’s council is smiling with that grin that makes everyone on the prosecutor’s side nervous.

“So you showed a willful disregard for the humans that came onto your property or even into your neighborhood!”

They showed a willful disregard for the sanctity of these creatures’ autonomy–fencing them in and feeding them out of Bowls!

“I rest my case.”

“Does the defense have a case?” asked the judge.

“Yes, your honor.  And the prosecutor just made it.”

“Proceed.”

“Your honor, I ask that all charges be dropped.”  A gasp rises from the courtroom.

“On what grounds?”

“My client is obviously Non-Compys-Mentis!”