Tag Archives: attitude

Oooh New Project!

Measurable Progress. Moving forward. Learning new things, and becoming a different person are lofty goals. Wait, becoming a different person? Why would you want to be a different person? Shouldn’t you like the person you are?

Let’s rephrase the question. Isn’t the person you currently are based on choices you’ve made and changes that resulted from those choices? If you had chosen to have a fruit smoothie for breakfast instead of an ultimate skillet, would that have affected the way you look and feel today? Well, of course. Would you be a different person?

What makes you you? Looking from the outside, the changes are microscopic, and we know from experience that microscopic changes become permanent and more noticeable when repeated every day. Looking from the heart, do you feel differently about yourself today than you did yesterday? Looking from the brain, how has your perspective of the world around you changed since yesterday? The real question, the one that makes you more like your ideal self, what did you put into your brain yesterday? When you were ordering your breakfast, how far ahead were you looking?

“Wow, I’m hungry!  That looks delicious!  I will have (make) that!” or

“Wow, I’m hungry! I’m hungry now because I ate late last night. It shouldn’t take much to fill me up now, so I’ll have just enough–something to tide me over to lunch.” or

“Wow, I’m hungry! What would be the healthiest thing to eat this morning? This will make me feel full, but won’t shoot all that sugar in, and that will be better than the caffeine that will make me hungry again before lunch. I will have (make) this.”

What did you read yesterday? What did you set out to learn yesterday? What ideas did you expose yourself to? What ideas were sparked from your conversations? What concepts did you explore? Do you think you built onto the self you were yesterday or did you add a branch? The only way you aren’t a different person today than you were yesterday is if you didn’t get up and do anything new. No, that’s not right. That would have been a choice and would have changed you the other way–made you less than you were the day before. In choosing not to expand, you shut down something in your head that looks for opportunities to grow. Your brain, desperate for something new, developed a slightly different perspective on the world, and because it was a microscopic change, you didn’t see it. I guess that regardless of what you do, you cannot be the same person you were yesterday. To put it bluntly, the only way you don’t change the person you were yesterday is if you freeze that moment when you are the person you choose to be and die in that precise moment.

Since this is MY blog, let me tell you what I did.

I wrote about the Rat Race concept because I’d been thinking of it all night. I went to have an adjustment to help me walk without a limp. I went to breakfast and worked on some puzzles so I don’t lose my marbles. I came home and started to learn French! (That’s a rant by the way.) I went to meet a friend of mine who’s collaborating with me on a manual that helps people plan conferences. I had Soul Food! (An Italian sausage with mustard and fried onions on a toasted bun, and some coleslaw.) I started sifting through ideas for an international speech to give for the Toastmasters Contest next spring. I gave a French Horn lesson. Then I watched some TV.

I am following “Criminal Minds” and the geek on the show has been thrown in prison pending his trial. Due to the machinations of the villain, instead of being put into protective custody (as an FBI agent, he’d be in mortal danger) he’s been put in General Population, and he’s not emotionally or physically equipped to handle this situation. So as I’m watching the episodes, I am noting the changes in his character. He has pitted his mind against so many clever serial killers; he has been exposed to many techniques that allow him to go undiscovered as a criminal; he has the IQ of over 150. I have noted his change in stance and the look in his eyes. He’s been bullied all his life, and his mother’s schizophrenic and has developed Alzheimer’s. Had he made one choice in his youth, he might have been one of the serial killers instead of the FBI agent that has caught them. He was tortured and drugged in one episode by a criminal who had a disassociative personality disorder, so he has some lingering PTSD. Will he become the killer he has chased? Will he defeat the villain that has put him into this situation, or will he kill him?

What fascinates me is how well the profilers read the people around them.  They’d be like wizards to normal people. They read micro-expressions, they are hyper-aware of their surroundings when confronting a criminal and can interpret unconscious behavioral traits like how the subjects arrange the pictures of their children or what clothes they like to wear. And yet…the members of this team are constantly flummoxed by newer and scarier criminals. They MUST grow and become different people in order to capture the bad guy.

The top people in industry and education and any other field you wish to examine are becoming, not static. Put something new into your brain every day, then ruminate on it and create some new idea, new thought, new action that will enhance what you put into your brain. It may change the way you feel about yourself and/or how you perceive the people and the world around you. Then you can choose to keep the information or discard it.

But you cannot remain the same person you were yesterday. You will be different tomorrow. The good news is that you are in complete control of who you choose to be.

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I’m Fat

I was listening to a show on NPR this morning and they did an issue about obese people. Fat people haven’t always been considered gross and disgusting. Botticelli and Raphael featured full-figured women in their paintings.

   

Now, they are considered lazy, undisciplined, and weak.  Wait?  What does that have to do with weight? Do people think that fat people just don’t care about how they look?  And it is alllllll about how people look isn’t it.  Observe in the pictures that the women do not have defined abs and muscular shoulders. Normal people cannot attain that measure of fitness, but we’re shamed by the fact that we don’t.

The woman in the interview said she came out to her family and friends that she was fat. This was not news to the people she told. She didn’t do it for them, she did it for herself. She now defined herself as a fat person. How can weight define a person?  That’s ridiculous! She had some valid points though.

People view fat people in two different ways. Sloppy, lazy, undisciplined, weak fatties, and fat people trying to get thinner. They patronize the fat people trying to get thinner. They shame the fat people they perceive aren’t trying. They complain about sitting next to them on public transportation, in movie theaters, at events, because they take up soooo much space! They consider fat rolls gross. They make fun of women of significant size in leggings.

What do I mean about patronizing fat people trying to get thinner? “Oh, you just have to eat more salads!”  “You should try this exercise.” “Are you going to eat all of that?!” I have news for those well-meaning people. You couldn’t keep up with me in the gym. That’s right.  You heard me. I do 90 pounds on the crunch machine. I do 70 pounds on the lat pull machine. I do 15-20 pound biceps curls. I do 80-pound leg presses. I can go 30 min on an elliptical machine on level 6. I do 90 crunches and 45 push-ups. I live on about 1200 calories a day. I do not eat burgers and fries three times a day–more like 3 times in a month. I have pizza twice a month. So yes, some of us are really trying to lose the weight. It is NOT however because we can’t find clothes that don’t look like circus tents or Macy’s white sale bedding. It is NOT because eventually, we’ll be diabetic. It is NOT because we feel guilty that our “fat-related” illnesses are a drain on the public health system.

Why do we try so hard? Because we remember how it felt to be thinner. We remember not having to have help getting out of the couch or the car. We remember not wheezing when we went up the stairs. We remember not hurting when we walked long distances. We remember being able to walk into a store and just buy something because it looked cute. We remember knees and ankles and backs that didn’t crack when we moved. We remember running to fly kites and taking hikes and climbing trees.

My Fat does not define me. (Obie is surprised–Obie is my sentient fat by the way.) My size does not determine my intelligence, my work ethic or my self-discipline. It does restrict my activities and how I feel.

I am fat. And I don’t like it. And I’m working to get rid of that fat.

A Bad Winter

What an intriguing idea.  How do you define a Bad Winter?  I think there are actually two schools of thought on this.

               and          

Bad Winter…Blizzards                                                   Bad Winter…Too HOT

High winds and snow                                                       Heat and Humidity

Power outages                                                                    Turn on Air conditioning?

Damage                                                                                Hail?

Hazardous driving conditions                                        Who dreams of a Brown Christmas?

Good Winter… Blizzards                                                Good Winter…Just Right

Smell of pumpkin bread                                                   No coats

Hot Mulled cider                                                                 Ice Cream on Pie

Quiet of snow landscape                                                    Thunderstorms and Lightning

Sledding                                                                                 Football outside, no coats

Ice Skating                                                                             Skateboarding in Park

Holiday Inn and White Christmas                                    Latest blockbuster at the theater

Which camp do you belong to?  I’m weird…I love the snow.  As long as it’s OUT THERE and I’m IN HERE.  Baking bread, pies, soups, and other wonderful warm savory foods, and experimenting with different teas and coffees.  Netflix binges.  I love watching the kids build forts and snowmen, and making hot chocolate for when they come in, red nosed and laughing.

I didn’t love it when I was hanging out a window working drive through in the fast food joints.  I’m warm, I’m a Popsicle, I’m warm, my teeth are chattering, I’m warm…I remember thinking, “OH LORD!  Please don’t let me get the ones that have to count out their change and they’re 2 pennies short and HAVE to find those 2 pennies!”  “O Please!  Don’t want to talk to me while you’re waiting for your food!  My left arm is frozen!”  I didn’t love it when I had to walk 3/4 mile to my class from the dorm with a head wind and sleet and snow pelting my forehead.  I didn’t love it when I had to drive 180 miles on the interstate at 12 mph because of bad roads and accidents.

The idea of a Brown Christmas is not appealing to me.  Spending Christmas in Florida or Hawaii just doesn’t do it for me.  I’ll take a White Christmas please.

 

Why Bones drives me nuts

I like watching the show, “Bones” because it’s crime and forensic medicine.  I know that a blow to the bone will cause radiating micro-fractures and the younger injuries’ only fracture until they hit an older fracture.  In that way you can find the 1st blow.  FASCINATING!

When I first started watching the show, I noted it was based on the books of Kathy Reich, and that she was a consultant and producer for the show.  So I read them all.  I like the Temperance Brennan she writes about in the book.  She’s smart, intuitive (when it comes to investigation) and has a good sense of humor.

The show separates the Mental (Temperance) from the Emotional (Booth) entirely.   He has no factual, evidentiary basis for his investigations.  How does he get to the position he is in without that?  And Temperance is so devoid of emotional language and intuition that there is no way she would have gotten the job she is currently in.  She is SO literal in her language and her conversations as to make her a MORON!

For some reason, and it’s beyond me, every genius in the show expresses some sort of autism.  I have taught autistic people.  I have worked with geniuses.  You do not have to be a genius to be autistic, and you do not have to be autistic to be a genius.  And I know of NO autistic people that act like Temperance or Zach Addy–another character in the show.  Yes, autistic people can be socially awkward, but for crying out loud…an anthropologist who’d done any field work, as Temperance has supposedly done on numerous occasions, would preclude her behavior in social situations.

One episode, they were investigating a murder on the Jersey Shore.  They were in a club and dancing when one of the suspects steals ice and throws it on people.  He is posturing for the girls (and she points that out) and when he threatens, SHE comes in and postures like a gorilla.  Any anthropologist with experience would know that women do not posture to men.  And men, unlike gorillas, posture with chest moves and stance within the other person’s space.  Eye to eye.  Not like a gorilla.  She has a running dialog that explains the anthropological significance of everything she sees.  Most of the time everything she says that she thinks is of great import is painfully obvious to the average people around her.  So at least 60% of the time she’s interacting with the characters in the show, she comes off as a moron.  She takes EVERYTHING literally.  She makes a point to vocally document everything down to the smallest detail on things that don’t need documentation, and then when it comes to the bones and bodies she deals with, she glosses over the tiniest bit that NEEDS documentation as something everyone would notice.  So she’s inconsistent.

Holmes is a genius, and he’s awkward in social situations, but he doesn’t come off as a moron.  Columbo comes off as a moron because that’s his process.  He’s a bit awkward in social situations because he’s observing the behavior of his suspects.  He looks for the microscopic superiority smile that all his villains exhibit.  Dr. Reed in CSI is very awkward in social situations, but he NEVER comes off as a moron.  He doesn’t take anything so literally that he cannot understand the reference.  Temperance takes everything literally, she pays no attention to the mind behind the villain.  She can’t assimilate the culture she lives in but she can understand the cultures of small remote tribes or civilizations centuries gone.

What I guess I’m saying is this:  I like the idea of a Female Forensic Anthropologist that is amazing at what she does.  I like the idea of a team of geniuses solving murders that no one else could solve.  But I don’t like the aspect that these brilliant people are really social morons that we must treat with kid gloves and teach them how to integrate into society so they can function within the norms.  I get the idea that if they were not morons, everyone would be afraid of them due to Mad Scientist syndrome.  The geniuses are better than the average person and will take over the world by using their evil intellect.  Because we all know…All Smart People Are Evil and Intelligence is not something to be desired.  *Pushes Sarcasm Button repeatedly until it sparks and blows up*

CW: Saltines, a horseshoe and a thumbtack…

Pregnant

Again!!!

I’m not ready

Oooo, that was bad, need saltines

My next appointment

a small card on the bulletin board

I pull the card

contemplate…crap just dropped the tack

Pick it…urp…run to bathroom

eat another saltine

take card back and tack it to bulletin board

eat another saltine

take a walk to my rose garden

enjoy breathing something

that doesn’t make me puke

5th time’s the charm…

Charm Hmmm

1st was St. Christopher medal

2nd was my old pet rock

3rd was a bunny foot

4th was early!  Shamrock at the last minute

This one kicks like a horse…

How about a horse shoe?

I don’t have a horse shoe…

How about a ballet shoe?

eat another saltine

 

Creative Writing Challenge: I am not your father

She flinched

He pulled back

I know you’re afraid

“You don’t know me!” she said vehemently.

I know you… you’re me

“I’m nothing like you!”

I used to flinch like that.

“So?”

I used to cry like that.

“So?”

I have scars like that.

“What?  Really?”

He used his belt, and his cigarettes.

“So?”

You miss him?

“…yes.”

I miss my father too.

“Why?”

Because he was what I knew.

I thought that’s what fathers did.

He said he loved me.

“Mine did too.”

I think my father liked the idea of me, and not really me.

I always disappointed him.

“Me too.”

Here’s a tissue.

“Thanks.”

I don’t know how long you’ll be here.

“I know.”

I will love you like my own kids.  You’ll see no marks on them.

“So?”

Give me your hands.

We can let that be our hug.

I’m not my father, and I am not your father…but I can be your Dad for a while.

 

 

Bubble wrap vs Kylo Ren

Kylo Ren has a problem.

Kylo is a master of the force; he has a big light saber with nasty hand guards that don’t apparently have any function; he has an unnatural fanaticism for his grandfather–Darth Vader; and he has a temper.  Now you have to understand that in the end, Darth Vader killed the emperor/Sith Lord to save his son.  He also gave up the Dark Side of the force and repented his evil ways.  Kylo has murdered the Sith Lord, Snoke, because Snoke threatened the girl he had been having “force initiated” conversations.  Someone called them Forceskype.  He totally wrote off the fact that Darth Vader denounced the dark side, and Kylo prefers to be the all-powerful voice-enhanced, shirtless wonder of the dark side of the force.  He’s all messed up.  Leia and Luke, the people he knew had the force, did not exhibit temper tantrums, and cool Han, the force muggle, didn’t either.  Vader, on occasion, would threaten violence in the form of a force choke hold, but until the emperor, he didn’t destroy property or murder people in a fit of pique.  So how did he come upon this terrible behavior?

My theory is that when he was little, nobody gave him bubble wrap.

“No Kylo, you can’t have the candy, it will ruin your dinner!”

*Popping noises*

“OK Mom.”

“Congratulations Kylo!  You got an A- on the spelling test!” says the teacher

“An A MINUS?!”  

*Popping noises*

“Which word did I miss?  I’ll get it right in the spelling bee…”

“Kylo hurry up!  You’ll be late for your Jedi classes with Uncle Luke!”

I hate Jedi classes, and I don’t like Uncle Luke much either.”

“You want to have control over that force don’t you?”

*Popping noises*

“I guess.  I’ll just get my shoes on.  I’m coming.”

“Don’t forget to smile for your school picture!”

The thing is, there are so many times when if we had bubble wrap, the urge to kill, maim, fire bomb, or sing opera would simply fade away.

“Let’s create a planet killing Death Star!”  *pop pop pop*  “Or not…”

“Let’s destroy this whole village of Resistance supporters!”  *pop pop pop* “or just take all their bubble wrap.”

“Luke, I am your…” *pop pop pop* “What on earth are you playing with boy?  Pay attention to me when I reveal earth shattering news!”  *pop pop pop*  Darth cuts of Luke’s hand anyway.

What if Hitler had had bubble wrap?  “Let’s invade Poland!”  *pop pop pop* “Why am I hungry for loud breakfast cereal?”

Attila the Hun?  “Ok, let’s just take these elephants over the Alps.  They won’t be expecting us from…??  What’s that stuff?  It looks like fun! *pop pop pop*

Demon to Devil, “Oh look!  God has made humanity!”

“Well let’s see how we can mess this up.  Hey Eve!  You want this nice shiny delicious fruit?”

*pop pop pop*

“Eve?”

*pop pop pop*

“Adam?  Aren’t you just a smidge hungry?”

“Yo Eve baby!  You got some more of that divine bubble wrap?”

“Ya hon.  It’s over there by the monkeys.”  *pop pop pop*

Every serial killer ever–

“I feel the urge… the urge to purge!  There’s a like likely victim!  Come here little girl…What do you have there?”  *pop pop pop*  “?  Give me that.”  *pop pop pop*  Little girl skips down the street.

There’s something addictive about popping those little bubbles.  It soothes the soul.  It distracts the mind.  It is destruction that doesn’t leave a mess.  It is noise without pain.  It’s just so darned fun!  Think of the fun they could have at estate dinners!  Think of the summit meetings!  Think of the State of the Union Addresses!  If the democrats had had any imagination, they would have put whoopee cushions in the seats so every time the president got the republicans to stand up, when they sat down…  And the democrats would not have had to applaud, they’d just *pop pop pop* and the president would mistake it for applause.  And if anyone didn’t like a particular part of the speech, they’d just start popping and drown it out.  Think of the UN Security Council meetings.  The Chair recognizes the esteemed representative from the Iranian Empire. *pop pop pop*

“Deputy Director of Operations, CIA, sir…  we have found the terrorists!”

“What have you done?”

“We dropped 300 pounds of the small gauge bubble wrap on them.”

“Do the liberals know?”

“Doesn’t matter.  We dropped 350 pounds of the bubble wrap on them about the same time.”

In conclusion, we can only speculate, but even our worst case scenario would suggest that the final tally would read:  bubble wrap 1, Kylo Ren 0.  Case closed.

 

White out

 “Smoke, Fog, and Haze: Write about not being able to see ahead of you.”
– writing prompt for today’s CW piece.

White

Silent but for the sound of wind

Isolation

What is it that is so critical that I must be here?

I see the tail lights in front of me, but they swerve

It is slick

I must get home, I cannot stay here

I see my warm kitchen, smell banana bread

Feel the warmth of my fire

My hands are cold

My wipers, ineffective

I’m shivering in my seat

I must get home, I cannot stay here

My radio is playing Vivaldi

The programmer has a sense of humor…playing Summer

I smile just a bit

But I must concentrate very hard

It’s difficult to drive by feel

How slow?

How careful?

How long until I’m safe?

I must get home, I cannot stay here

Blizzards, fun to watch

Not having fun now…

Pull over?

Wait it out?

2 more hours.

I must get home, I cannot stay here.

Trust my feeling

Trust my instinct

Trust the road

Trust those driving ahead and behind

It’s hard to trust

I must, because

I must get home, I cannot stay here

Fall back position

I tend to go to subversion as my first fallback when things don’t go right.  It upset me to discover this, but I know WHY I do that (after some reflection.)

  1.  Follow the rules.  Stay within the parameters.
  2. Watch as an incompetent takes over and screws it up and derails the project.  This brings up two pathways: wait for experience to kick in, the lesson to be learned, whatever that gets us back on track or watch the doofus crash and burn and the project stay off track and fail so I can say “I told you so.”
  3. So I wait for the turn around and it never happens.  But I want the project to succeed, both for my benefit and for the others involved in the project
  4. Doofus gets schooled by higher ups or more experienced people on the team and gets discouraged but in order to save face DOESN’T CHANGE ANYTHING AND MAY EVEN EXASPERATE THE SITUATION! 
  5. I become subversive and the project succeeds in spite of the mismanagement because we are back on track.
I am too old and too impatient to go through all 5 steps Every Single Time.  In my experience in the public schools and as a business owner/operator and in fast food, and in the many organizations I have been a part of (from Girl Scouts to Church Choir…) it’s always the same 5 steps.  There were some projects that I was indifferent to, and those I let founder.  And though I didn’t say it out loud, I snickered to myself, “I told them so…”  Now, I recognize the signs early on, and exasperated, I assume that the Doofus that is messing things up is not coachable or amenable to change.  He/She will not learn the lessons.  Why go through the effort of mentoring them and coaching them if they keep saying, “I got it from here” and they clearly don’t “got it?”  I’m not saying micromanage, because we all know how futile that is.  So instead of falling back on the 2nd, 3rd and 4th steps and especially with a time crunch, I revert to step 5 as a default.  That’s the way I have programmed myself to think.  Unless something changes in the human condition that contra-indicates this conclusion, that will be my general approach to situations like these.

International Speech! Trial Run

  1.  Open with a bang… or silence… or a combination.  Ah…

*Walks on stage with purse.  Quietly pulls a package of black cats out of the purse and places it  on the floor in the front, and lights the lighter.*  “There’s gotta be a better way to time these things!”  *Looks up.*  “Oh, hello!  Ya know?  I don’t think I’ll light this just yet.  It’s just a trial run.  Mr. Contest master, Fellow Toastmasters, esteemed judges and the judges I paid off earlier, and guests.  This is my international speech.  Now I realize it’s a very very prestigious thing to win, so I worked hard on this speech and did my due diligence.  I watched EVERY SINGLE winning and losing speech that has been recorded since the beginning of time.  I took notes.  I watched winners on YouTube telling me how they won.  I watched experts who have coached contestants who won.  And I have watched, well, listened to, these people purporting to be judges with their voices altered and in the dark on how to win.  I even joined a group that was going to coach me through the process!  I NOW have a SYSTEM!  I HAVE THE FORMULA!”

2.  Refer to your mother and relive your childhood.  Check!

“I remember my childhood.  I was shorter.  I remember my Mama’s ankles, and her feet on the pedals of the piano in our living room.  I remember my Mama’s sweet voice saying, ‘Didn’t you practice at all this week?  You sound like someone sat on a piano!  Play it again from the beginning and use your fingers and not your butt!’  She must have been kidding because the students never got off the bench when they were playing.  She used to say to me, ‘Don’t ever grab my feet when I’m playing Chopin! It’s a crime against humanity!'”

3.  Make sure you use emotion.  Check!

“I had a funny childhood.”  *Laughs uncontrollably.  Then just as suddenly breaks into sobs.*  “Not everyone agreed with me about what was funny.  Sometimes they violently disagreed.  I still have that effect when it comes to humor, but now people just shake their heads and groan instead of throwing heavy objects.”

4.  Have a point.  Check!

*Pulls out a knitting needle.  Looks at it, then puts it back into bag.*

5.  Have a tag line.  Check!

“Dry Clean ONLY!  I will now translate this statement into 160 Earth languages, Klingon and Wookie.”  *Checks watch.  Looks above stage for translations.*  “OK, never mind.”

6. Tell another story.  Check!

“Wait, original story?  OK, original it is.  Once upon a time in a Galaxy Far Far Away…  Uh Oh!  That guy in the third row is looking that one up.  Eek!  It was the best of times, it was the…  I hate GOOGLE!  Hold on a second.  Here’s one:  In college, I had a professor that liked to intimidate people, especially me.  He used to make fun of me mercilessly.  He was in the midst of another diatribe and I said, ‘If you say one more word about me, I’ll come down and bite you in the leg!’ and he did.  And I did.  We became fast friends, until he started foaming at the mouth.  I heard he spent a week in the hospital.”

7.  Have a point.  Huh?  a different size or color or the same point?

*Gets a larger knitting needle out of bag.  Looks at it.  Points to it.  Puts it back into bag*

8.  Tell sad story with a moral.  Try to use short sentences and make the ending uplifting.  Got it!

“I got hit by a revolving door and when I fell down, I heard my hip break.  It hurt terribly.  I almost cried. The moral of the story is: Don’t walk into glass walls when in a revolving door! The door doesn’t stop.  When the EMT’s came they lifted me into the Ambulance.”

9.  Use the tag line and tell another story.  You betcha!

*Sings “You’re the flower of my heart Sweet Adeline!” * I was a baritone. I will now regale you with a favorite story of mine from Rome.  It was the second story of a hotel there.  It was just beautiful with red carpet and fancy door handles and room numbers.”

10.  Make sure you use a lot of the stage.  It is also recommended that you lie down on the floor for maximum impact.  ??

“Nah, Not going to happen.  I can’t run like I used to and if I impact the stage, I may re-break my hip.  Even if I don’t break it, it would take a pulley system to get me off the floor.  I don’t see a set up like that here, so I think I’ll just skip this step.”

11.  Have a great conclusion.  Yup!

“Ladies and Gentlemen!  This concludes my International Speech!  Thank you!  Drive home safely.  Don’t forget to tip your waiter.  Where do I get my prize money?”  *Starts to walk off stage.  Changes directions to walk the other way.  Remembers black cats and grabs them gets out lighter.*  “Wait!  I know where my biggest competitor’s room is…”  *Laughs evilly and walks off stage.*