Tag Archives: exercise

Congratulations! You’re cured!

I don’t get that assessment very often.  I got it from my orthopedic doctor yesterday.  But Doctor, I still hurt.  “Yup.  You’re going to hurt.”  But Doctor, I still limp.  “Yup, you still limp.”  How am I cured?  “Your leg is no longer broken.”  Ah.

Then, from the Physical Therapist…”You know, eventually you’ll have to be doing exercises on your own to keep making progress.  You have to get to the point where you don’t need us any more.”

Maybe I should have washed the clothes I wear to the appointments…though I didn’t notice anyone’s eyes tearing up and heard no retching noises.

I did get new shoes yesterday.  They are supposed to compensate for my outward roll on my right foot and support my weak left leg.  Both have a very high arch support in them.  I feel like my foot is sliding off the center of the shoe.  They felt ok in the store though.  Is there a thing where when you cross the threshold, the shoes have a trigger that turns off the comfort level?  I guess I’ll find out if it works in a few days.

So for all intents and purposes, my leg is healed.  It still hurts to stand on it for any length of time, and I cannot go up and down stairs like I used to.  But…

IT’S PROGRESS!

 

I’m getting ugh better

It feels so weird when I step up on the box and my hip does this weird popping thing.  It feels like someone strumming a guitar.  It takes so much effort to just stand on that one leg.  It requires a lot of effort to stand on the injured leg and do grand battements with my right.  The uninjured leg does not want to move.

The leg doesn’t hurt until I release the muscles.  Then it hurts like the dickens!  But, I am getting better.  Really.  omg.

It’s raining

It’s Pouring, the Old Man is Snoring…

Ok I’m snoring.  I’m lying on my side in the Physical Therapist’s office on a padded table with a heating pad on my leg.  It’s really heavy and it’s moist heat.  *beep*  Time for the ultra sound.  zzzzzzz.  *beep*  “Were you sleeping?”  Me?  No.  Why do you ask?  “Because normally people who are awake don’t snore.”  oh

She really really worked my IT band–the tendon that connects the hip and the knee.  Iliotibial band it’s called.  I’m cross-eyed in pain…and also I don’t have my glasses on so I may not be cross-eyed, just blurry.  ANYWAY, after the torture comes the exercises.  Leg lift with 2 lb. weights, side lift with same weight (OWIE!  that one’s hard.)  Hamstring stretch 3 x at 30 seconds.  Leg extensions with 3 lb weight.  Leg curl with blue band resistance.  Calf stretch 3 x at 30 seconds.  Hip glider machine, 3 springs, 15 times.  Sideways stepping, marching then on to the box.  It’s 4″ box I step up on my bad leg, touch my right toe and then step back down.  15 of those.  After that, I step up on my bad leg and then continue forward and step down on my good leg.  15 of those.  5 min on the tread mill, lvl 1.

Then I walk out of the office.  I don’t limp for a good 45 min after that.  Then I sit down and of course it tightens up again, but I’m not limping as bad.  But it’s raining.  I have to limp fast to get to the car!  So I am making measurable progress.

I do have a question though.  You all know how hard it is for me to loose weight.  Very strict diet, and I do as much exercise as I can given my current physical state.  Do the probiotics work?  Could I have a digestive problem instead of a calorie problem?

Owie! the sequel

Every time I go into the Physical Therapist, he rubs, (massages? I don’t know what you call it) right around the incision sites on my leg.  Now this isn’t the kind of massage you want to pay for, but I do.  It hurts.  He uses his thumb and fingers and palm and it always leaves me very sore.  In once case it left me black and blue!  But a day after that, I can walk better!  🙂  Not this time.  I was on my side and he was using his thumb on the screw incisions near my knee cap, and was rubbing so hard, I could feel it in the other leg!  This was Friday, and now it’s Sunday and I’m still very sore!  And it hurts to walk.  😦

I wish that I would heal better.

But I am doing my exercises, and going without my crutch or cane.  This morning, I was playing in front of the congregation for both services and having to limp over to the part of the dais so I wouldn’t blow out the preacher’s ear drums with my horn.  The limp is quite noticeable.  Everyone was asking me how I was.  “Are you ok?”  “Did you hurt your foot this morning?”  “Is this weather hard on your knees?”  They weren’t commenting on the music.  My limping was a distraction for them.

It was fun though!  I played my 1903 Lyon and Healy Cornet, and my dad’s piccolo trumpet on “Jesus Christ is Risen Today” with a descant,  “He lives,” the Choir piece “On the Third Day,” and finally “Up from the Grave he Arose” with a descant.  I got to blow the doors off on the 2nd service since there were so many people!  *Giggles*

I had roast lamb, garlic potatoes (small portion) with fresh chives, steamed carrots, and Charoset, a dried fruit dish with walnuts and almonds traditionally used on Passover.  Yum!

 

Little by Little

Woohoo!  I am without crutches or cane for the most part!

My Physical Therapists, the inestimable Gina V and Noah, have been heating my operation site, and rubbing and needling, and general torture for about a month.  At one point, I felt I had an extra joint in my injured leg about 1/2 way from my hip to my knee.  It felt REALLY weird!  The lower quads bunched up to a rock just above my knee, and the upper quads didn’t seem connected to the lower.  Now it feels more like 1 muscle again.

I couldn’t walk much because my injured leg wouldn’t (and I mean absolutely refused to) hold my weight to allow my right leg to move.  I am gradually getting my gait back.  I still limp, but it’s much less pronounced.

This IS measurable progress!

What a workout!!!

I went to a certification seminar in Orlando…yes, the same danged place where I broke my hip last August.  Really!  It was the exact same hotel for the exact same seminar.  I did skip the revolving door this time.  They said they only had video from the outside, and I walked in and there was the camera between the entrance and the concierge desk.  I wonder what that one showed?  I also now am curious how many other people walk into that glass thinking it’s the exit.  I talked to several of my fellow attendees and they said they did.

ANYWAY…I got in and got my bags up to my room and then went to find registration.  The 1st time I attended, in August, I thought, “Just get me to the registration desk!  I can tough it out for the next 3-4 days.”  This time?  I walked from the elevator, past the restaurant, down the escalator, past the meeting room and lounge, down a ramp, down a hallway, past the “city” rooms (named after cities) and past 3 entrances into the big meeting room to my door.  I was so glad I brought my cane!  It was close to a mile!  So NO, I couldn’t have crawled to the registration desk last time.  I would have been 3 hours late.  I was exhausted after we had our opening ceremony and then we walked another mile back to the elevators.

The food was good, and plentiful!  I had to remember to take mostly protein, but they had quinoa salad, (Monday) chicken or beef, (Tuesday) turkey, beef or fish, (Wednesday) fish or beef.  It was all soooooo good!  They also had potatoes and pasta and bread/rolls and little teeny deserts, none of which I ate, but they smelled and looked so wonderful.

So the good news is that I didn’t gain any weight, and the bad news is that I didn’t shed any weight.  But this was the part I wanted to stress.  Of the 5 faculty at the seminar, 3 of them had paragraphs in their speeches about how they had lost 50-60 pounds.  Richard Simmons lost a lot of weight before he began his career.  Tim Gard has lost lots of weight and is a professional speaker.  What do I get from this?  Shed weight and become a professional speaker/coach!  What the heck!  I’m certified now so I could do that!

Wait…do you become a professional speaker/coach and THEN shed the weight or Shed the weight 1st.  Dam!

Weirdness

I went to the gym on Tuesday, then Thursday.  *grins*  and now weirdness has set in.  My good hip is cramping, and my injured hip “pops.”  It feels like the muscle catches on something and then releases like a rubber band.  The funny thing is that after 5 min on the treadmill, my ARMS hurt.

Tuesday, I did the interval training on the stationary bike, lvl 3 and lvl 8 like earlier.  Then the 5 min on the tread mill at lvl 1 speed and lvl 1 elevation.  Thursday, I did the sit up, stand and twist exercise.  I use the inclined bench. I hold a 10 pound weight on my chest while I lie on the bench, then I rise to a sitting position and stand up in one motion.  Then I twist left and right without moving my hips then return to the lying down position again.  I did 3 sets of 15.  This was followed the 5 min on the treadmill on lvl 1 and 1.  Argh!

The popping sensation doesn’t hurt, so I don’t think I’m tearing muscle, but it is annoying.

In case you’re wondering, and even if you’re not, I am monitoring my carb intake and protein.  I cannot get enough protein without getting lots of fat.  It seemed that I was awfully busy this week!!!  But I continued to eat right.  I went to bed before midnight every night I was so tired.  I guess that’s a good thing as more sleep helps you realize you’re not desperate for food and on the hunt for a week.  At least that’s how I understand the psychology.

What I don’t understand is that it’s not calories in versus calories out, or energy expended in working out, or strength in both voluntary and involuntary muscle that causes weight gain or loss…it’s psychology.  I HATE psychology.  I prefer math, statistics, biochemistry and physiology.   There’s no “theory” there at least at the level I’m working at.  It’s facts and numbers and chemical reactions and such.  You can put the numbers to paper and do this and this and this and you get that result.  But no….If your body thinks (that’s like saying if your pillow thinks, or your chair thinks…) that there may be a problem getting food, it will store up food for a rainy day.  In other words, if you skip a meal, you get fatter.  If your body thinks that it has to stay up longer in order to protect itself or look for food, it stores more food.  In other words, if you stay up all night playing video games, you get fatter.  Even if you don’t stay up all hours of the night and eat regularly, if you don’t eat enough calories, your body thinks to itself, “Self, this person is crazy, store up more food!  We have no idea what’s coming up next!!!”  and you get fatter.  C’MON body!  Get with the program!  Do the MATH!  You already have too much stored, and the rats are going to get it or it will spoil!  (Body laughs knowingly…fat doesn’t spoil!)  Yes it does, did you smell that old Crisco we threw out last week?  (Body is shocked.  Body isn’t very smart.  Body is a pillow.)  I want to smack Body.  Body is not supposed to think.  NOOOO, could it be?  It ISN’T body that’s thinking!!!  It’s OBE.  (remember Obe?  The name I gave to my sentient fat?)  Obe laughs uproariously.   (check my previous blog)   “Obe!  Look!  A Donut!!!”  Obe runs for the donut, I close the door and lock him in.  Obe is not happy.

On the Road again

I couldn’t believe it.  I was soooo happy for something like this to happen.  A couple of years ago, I would have thought someone who was looking forward to doing this activity was absolutely insane.  What was it?  I got on the stationary bike for 30 min.

??  Believe it or not it was a major step forward.  A while back, I would get on the bike and watch SVU with subtitles to take my mind off this odious task.  It was in no way pleasurable.  It was boring and it put my butt to sleep.  It tired me out and made me hurt the next day.  Who could look at that and be excited?

After I broke my hip last August, I was restricted to walking with crutches.  When they put that much metal in your hip, they have to move a lot of muscle and tendons to work on it.  This means there’s a lot of swelling and bruising, and the recovery time is long–6 months to a year.  It hurts.  It hurts to lie down, to sit, to stand, to walk, to drive…  But you soldier on.  The doctor was pleasantly surprised on how well I was moving.  The physical therapist was amazed to see how much weight I could put on it, and how well I articulated my foot.  I was confused.  I didn’t think I was making much progress at all.  I was frustrated.  It still hurt.  In fact it continues to hurt.  How was I to strengthen this leg?

xray-3-11-8-16-001

bionic hip

I was given some exercises to strengthen the leg and I did those when I went to the gym.

Of course, it occurred to me that it was silly to work just the leg angle when I could do a myriad of upper body exercises while I was there.  Granted, my forearms, shoulders and triceps were getting a workout from using the crutches, however I added biceps, back, abs, and chest exercises just to round things out.  One day, I did stand-ups from an inclined bench.  I lay down on the bench, sat up and continued into a standing position, then sat down again.  Sitting down without using my hands was new (and scary) but I didn’t have far to go to get my butt onto a surface, so I didn’t have to worry about falling.  The next week, I added a 10 lb. weight and a twist after I stood up.  I was getting stronger.

So last Tuesday, I rode the bike!  30 min!  Of course, it was level 1.  My trainer had me go 4 min on 1 and then boosted it up to lvl 5 for a minute.  I was SO excited.

I haven’t had as much water this week as I did last week.  I feel so dry now!  Need to drink some more.

I’m back to the weight I was when I started this journey 3 years ago.  208.9  Dam.  But I’m healing!  YAY!

 

Is it an allergy or a cold

Does it matter?  Well, yes.  An allergy goes away when the things you’re allergic to go away.  A cold goes away when it WANTS to go away.  Sniff sniff…coff coff.  So those of you who do lots of cardio, what do you do when you catch cold?  Doesn’t that mean that when you’re not running or walking or elipticalling (elipticalling?!) or treading that you have to start from scratch when you start up again?  When I’m coughing and sneezing and my head and nose are stuffed up, I can’t breathe.  When I can’t breathe, I can’t get my heart rate up.

Of course, if you’re reduced to a soup diet, you are not really piling on the calories are you!  Well…depends on the soup.  If you have a cup of clam chowder, 250 cal, but a bowl is 650!  And some chili is huge, and some stew is humongous!   Nevertheless…I did 90 crunches last time I was in the gym.  My abs did not hurt as much as they do after 3 days of coughing.  What kind of exercise do you do when you’re struck down with a cold?  Picking up the kleenex around the trash can that you missed from throwing them across the room counts as deep knee bends right?  Walking all over the grocery store to find cough drops gives you steps for your fitbit….ummmm.  Sneezing and coughing are great core exercises!  Going up the stairs to get the cough medicine every 4 hours counts doesn’t it?  Wellll…

So obviously, I didn’t go to training tonight.  Except I did.  I’m up 2 pounds since Saturday.  Must be all those cough drops I’ve been eating?  I added a new exercise.  I lie down on the incline bench with a 10 lb plate in my hands, sit up, stand up, twist left and right, sit down without using my crutch or my hands.  I think I’m going to hurt tomorrow.  I also lie on my tummy and lift my legs back off the bench.  I can’t do my left leg very well.  It barely moves.  With all the coughing I’ve been doing, I didn’t do the crunches, but I did the butt raises, the latex band work on my legs, and the rubber ball exercises.  I’m tired.

 

210.4 lbs.

The ULTIMATE WORKOUT!

I’M GOING TO BE RICH!  I CAN SELL THIS ON THE INTERNET AND HAVE INFOMERCIALS AT 2 AM AND VIDEOS AND CELEBRITY SPONSORS AND EVERYTHING!

IT IS:  (dat dat DAHHH) THE CRUTCH WORKOUT!

Here’s how it works.

Pick a leg, any leg (preferably your own)  Dub it “injured.”  Put a red x on it or pin or tape up your pant leg but what ever you choose, you can only use this leg for balance.  You cannot put weight on it.  This throws your center of gravity wayyyyy off.  You will now get muscle pains in muscles you didn’t know you had.

Get crutches.  Not those wimpy aluminum kind, the Wooden ones!  You might have to go to a Salvation Army or garage sale.  They are heavier and guaranteed to make you really work.  Adjust them properly.  The top of the crutch is not for weight bearing, it is for control. The top of the crutch should be about 2″ below your arm pit.  Adjust your hand bars so that your arms are slightly bent when holding them.  You put ALL your weight on your hands, especially the heels of your hands.  Place your hands so that the heel of your hand is in the middle of the handle and your index finger curls around the upright.  That adds extra control.

You CANNOT move anywhere or do anything without the crutches.  You have to be resourceful.  If you cannot cook and move the food to your table, you don’t eat.  If you cannot carry a water bottle, you have to drink at a sink or a fountain.  No fast food, you can’t carry a tray.  You cannot drive with your bad leg.  You do not have a handicap designation.  You must traverse evil parking lots and learn how to do stairs and stand and sit (even on the toilet) without causing your “injured” leg to accidentally help you.  Are you up for the challenge?

When you have done this for 6 weeks, change legs.  Mwahahahahaaaaaaa.

You will have forearms like Popeye, Triceps like Jon Cena, a good leg like Arnold Schwartzenegger, and your “injured” leg like a noodle.

I went from 213 to 206.5 in 5 weeks.  Of course my hip is actually broken.  I am getting weird cramps in my good hip from change in center of gravity however.  I have blisters under my callouses on my hands.  I also have an extra 2.5 pounds of hardware in my leg.  Of course this work out is going to cost you.  You need to send me $5000 for the full and complete plan with the videos and the drawings and you get a Free set of wooden crutches with each order.  (My hospital bill for the broken hip was $82,000 so what you’re paying is really a bargain!!!!!)

Just send your check and your social security number and your bank routing number and your mother’s maiden name and the name of your 1st pet to…