Tag Archives: It ends

Mixed feelings

3/7/2011  Dad died

3/8/1928  Mom was born

I remember Mom and Dad with fondness

Smiles

Secret Smirks

Quirks recalled

Wisdom dispensed

Mom reading Dr. Seuss

Then the horror

That tumor

The pain

The confusion

Missed events

Dad slipping away

in Alzheimer’s

The frailty

The helplessness.

I miss you both.

I remember you both.

My 4 oldest were held by you both.

My grand children don’t remember.

2 more generations and

All you were and all you did

will pass from memories.

What a tragedy.

 

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CW challenge: They all died, I survived

They knew

They all knew

The Parents

The Teachers

The counselors

They knew

We weren’t crying

for help

We didn’t want

help

We held life and death in

the palms of our hands

We weren’t weak

We were determined

Hold hands, 3 of us

1…2…3 JUMP

cold icy water

my foot hurts–no my ankle

why do I feel pain?

Struggle to surface

Why struggle?

Current moves me

Pain

Inhale water

But I can’t

Blow out all air

but I can’t

Rock in my side

Branch on my arm

Roll to back

Cough…cry

Strong hands pull me out

I failed

They didn’t

Alone

 

 

Why?

I thought if I had a blog, then any progress I made, I could look back and see and encourage myself.

I was wrong.

Having a blog is stupid.  I just post to all the world (the 1 person besides me that reads this) how I fail day after day after day.  I am NOT encouraged.  Walking or doing the elliptical or the stationary bike at a harder level and a longer period of time has negative results that are measureable…not positive.  Since starting this ridiculous project–eating more home cooked meals, smaller portions, controlled intake of sugar, white flour, and salt, and doing aerobic exercise, I have gained about 1 pound/week.  I am constantly tired, and have slept through meetings, appointments, conference calls and the like.  I still can’t get up off the couch without a good push, and God help me if I ever drop something on the floor.  I will continue to go to the gym, and to eat better, but I’m not going to weigh myself, or blog about my experiences, because ANYONE ELSE in the world that is doing what I’m doing is losing weight and feeling better.  Obi wins.  I concede.

This is my last post.

Well, I thought it would be my last post… I got a petition from all my reader pleading me to continue this silly thing.
Treadmill 30 min 2.5 mph 1.5 elevation