Tag Archives: nutrition?

Dipping your cookies

Toddlers’ Cooking show.

Babbaaaabaa duh squeal!  (trans:  Bananas!  YUM!)  Recipe follows:  Take bananas.  Squish them and eat with or without spoon.

You’re an ADULT!  Why are you squishing your bananas?  Duh.  It’s CALLED a SMOOTHY!

Buk Buk Buk  gmy ah ah?  (trans:  Are we having chicken?)  Recipe follows:  Take chicken, boil the crap out of it.  Add copious amounts of salt, cut it up and put it in a jar.

But you’re an ADULT!  Why are you cubing your chicken?  Duh.  It’s called CHICKEN SALAD!

Googie!!!  (Cookie!)  Recipe follows:  anything round gets dipped in milk and eaten by children with less than the required amount of teeth.

You’re an ADULT!  You have the required number of teeth.  Why are you dipping your cookie?  BECAUSE IT TASTES GOOD.

I cannot believe this is the subject of a radio poll.  If it’s food and it tastes good, why does it have to be relegated by age?

Food rules:

  1. Only old people can like liver and onions
  2. Only old snobby people can like caviar
  3. Only 10 year olds can request mac and cheese
  4. No one is allowed to make peanut butter marshmallow sandwiches
  5. Adults must not indulge in popsicles or cotton candy

There comes a time in your life when you do not have permission to eat what you want.  When is that time?  When there’s too much salt, when you have food allergies, when you’re 200 pounds overweight.  What is the limit?  No fast food, no pop!  That ISN’T food; it’s a means of quelling talking tummies until you can get the real thing.  No you can’t eat that whole bag of M & M’s.

But Panera has 3 different macaroni and cheese dishes.  Red Lobster offers a macaroni and cheese lobster dish.  Every health food restaurant offers smoothies…processed bananas, but they add protein powder and spinach.  Chicken cubes and beef cubes are on salads and mixed in with sandwiches.

So if you want to dip your cookie in your milk, that is not a crime, and if it isn’t bad for you, why must it be relegated to the kid’s food category?

Dip your cookie in your milk if you want.

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Keto Doh

I have been on this Keto diet for over a year.  Have not lost a single pound.

I looked at my MyFitness digest and discovered the following:

The Keto diet recommends 20-50g of carbs/day.  It doesn’t seem to have a goal for protein, but it does for fat.  I was doing EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what the Keto diet required.  Though I was about 1200 calories average, actually less, I was nearly 3 times the number of carbs/day.  Oh for crying in the mud.

Start over.  I am up on exercise however this month.

Um huh?

So we were having a meeting at a grocery store…yes they have meetings there.  They have to train people remember!  And of course there’s a potty break.  1 bathroom for 15-20 women…

Never mind the logistics, this was what was weird:  There was a poster inside the door that said, “Look before you flush.”  Well that was intriguing.  Aren’t we supposed to look before we sit?  That would make more sense.  Some kid might have thrown a matchbox car in there.  But no, food store restroom…so not likely.  I read the poster.  It described poo.  Yup.  Consistency, shape, and illustrations.  (Really?!!!)  And then it compared the picture to items of food!  Jelly beans, sausage, hot dogs, soup.  ACK!  I guess that’s appropriate if you’re working with food.  Makes you look at carrots differently the rest of the day though.  The poster then grouped them and suggested remedies…drink more water, check for fever, etc.

Very educational poster, but not sure why it’s in a food store bathroom.  Now here’s the thing:  the toilet had an automatic flush.  How do you look when the “product” is already down the hole before you turn around?

Imagine walking by the bathroom and hearing, “Wait!  WAIT!!!  Dammit!  OK then, I’ll be back after lunch!  Stupid toilet!”

Oh…

This doesn’t work!  The laws of nature, physics and biology do not apparently work for me!

“Oh really?  What’s wrong?”

I’ve been doing this thing…1200 cal/day plus exercise for a long time and I am still a big fat blob!  (Obie is snickering…you can’t hear him…it’s my sentient fat)

“Oh dear!  So you always do 1200 calories a day?”

Not always…But I average about 1300 over the weeks.

“And you’re going to the gym or walking how often?”

Well I started out at 5x a week.

“And now?”

Well… On the weekends…twice a month…when I remember, or it’s not to hot or cold or raining.

“Ah”

2 years later:

This doesn’t work!

“What’s wrong?”

Dr. Oz said I’d get back to my fighting weight (Obie is snorting,) in 6 weeks if everything I eat is green.  I’ve not only not lost any, but gained 2!

“So you never eat yellow?”

NO!!!!

“KFC is yellow…”

Yeah, but it’s chicken and chicken is healthy.

“But it’s not green…How long have you been eating mostly green?”

2 weeks.

“Still 1200 calories/day?  Still doing some exercise?”

Um…my last entry into my food log is 2 months ago.  (Obie has lost all control and is laughing out loud now.)

“Ah”

1 year later:

This doesn’t work!  I’ve cleaned out all my toxins and reset my probiotics and taking 6 pills at every meal and I’ve only lost 2 pounds!

“Oh dear! So you take 3 different types of herbal supplements, 2 pills each, 3 times a day?”

Well 2 times…when I eat.

“Every day?”

When I remember, and when I remember to eat.  (Obie giggles.)

“And the probiotics?”

Still full bottle in refridge.

“Still 1200 calories/day and exercising 2x/week on the weekends?”

I haven’t kept good track, but it’s gotta be close.

“Ah.”

1 month later:

This isn’t working!  I take the pill in the morning (just one so I don’t get jittery), drink the goop, and put on the patch.  I’m supposed to feel energized and refreshed and my pounds are supposed to be screaming and leaping off of me!  They’re not!

“How early do you take the pill?”

When I get up.

“Before your feet hit the floor?”

No, I don’t want to wet the bed.  (Obie thumbs his nose at my attempt at sarcasm.)

“Then what?”

I put the patch on.

“And…?”

I go through my day.

“When do you drink your goop?”

After I exercise.  (Obie raises an eyebrow waiting for the bomb to drop…)

“Do you exercise every day?”

Um…(Obie imitates mike drop)

“The trainers in this program say this:  keep the pill by your bed and use it before you get up.  Then 30-40 min later have the goop.  Then put on the patch.  Then go about your day.”

I can’t have anything to eat after that goop.  It’s just so gross.  (Obie is laughing to the point of tears.)

“You thought you could continue to eat like you have been and supposedly exercise in addition to having this goop and all the patches and pills?”

Well, yes… (Obie is tweeting?)

“And you haven’t been drinking the goop every day.”

I ran out of milk.  And I drink it after…I…exer…oh yeah.  EVERY DAY?

“It’s a regimen.  It means that its regimented, scheduled, practiced daily.”

Ah

“Betty was right.  You’re too inconsistent with your approach to this challenge.  And that lady on Solomon’s Advisor was right too… You’re trying to change something in your life without changing your life.  Your lifestyle is something you love…teaching, watching Bones or Netflix or going to movies, dabbling in other business is somehow tainted by that big blob sitting in the chair that wears your clothes.   (Obie is pleased and bows at the acknowledgement.) Ok, so You want to continue this lifestyle and just put on a skinny suit. How you feel isn’t powerful enough to make you want to change who you are.  How you look is not enough to inspire you to change your activities.  Your “Why” is not compulsive enough for you to succeed because you lose focus, you lose interest, and you become inconsistent and the program, what ever it is, doesn’t work without consistency.

What you should measure in your Measurable Progress is not your waistline, it’s your change in character.  Because your Why is a complaint against the universe for conspiring against you…(Obie adjusts his crown and points with his scepter to continue this awesome praise,) and it is not a motivator that allows you to continue and press on despite distractions and setbacks.  (Obie drops scepter.)

It’s like living the retired life:  travel, leisure, freedom from worry or care without the odious tasks of having actually worked.  Ooops.  (Obie picks up scepter.)  So go to work.  Find the Why that keeps you on the path.  Get out of your freakin’ chair and be consistent in your program, whatever shape it takes.  (Obie removes crown, puts down scepter, and readies himself for a fight.)  It won’t be easy.  (Obie nods in agreement with an evil smile.  You get the distinct impression he’s thinking, “Not if I can help it.”)  But first, figure out WHY it’s important to succeed, not WHY it doesn’t work and you’re such a loser.  The Good why will get you there.  The bad why will paralyze you.  Measure your WHY!  Let that keep you consistent.

 

 

 

 

Connections

via Daily Prompt: Branch

 

Breathe in

Breathe out.

Soak up sun!

Ahhhhh warmth

Ooooo cool rain

Wind?

Anxious!

Violent

Branches fall

I fall

lonely

fading.

Root was small and weak

Sickly

Grafted?

Old root

Life returning

Power from root!

Integrated

We are one

Raw to root

Refined from root

Warmed and cooled

But now I grow strong

Wind?

NOT anxious

Like a brush through hair

I’m growing

I’m extending.

New limbs

Powerful connection

Root sings to me

My birds sing back.

Strong root–

Strong branch.

 

I don’t believe it!

I have spent the better of 1 hour on my feet.  I now have to sit down and rest.  Then I’ll get up again and spend about 1/2 hour on my feet.  Then sit down.  Then I make cookies with the grandkids.  I now have to sleep for 2 hours and am sore for hours after that.  I love baking cookies!  I love cooking!  I love clean…whoops, not that one.  But when I finish, in fact multiple times within the cooking and baking, I have to sit.  When I’m done my feet are sore, my back is sore, and I’m exhausted!

My friend Gloria read from a book “Getting Old is Not for Sissies!”  I sure identified with that!  At this time, I have my kids so well trained, all I have to do is the “up” gesture they used when they were two years old, and they will pull me out of my chair.  Why do I need to be pulled out of my chair?!  This is ridiculous!  My old year’s resolution was to drop some pounds so I wouldn’t be in this painful condition.  I went on a diet, (ketogenic) and I must have done it wrong because I GAINED weight.  I spent time in the gym doing my physical therapy exercises so I wouldn’t limp so much.  I’m still limping.  I got on the curve treadmill and the stationary bike to build up my endurance.  I’m out of breath going up 7 stairs.   It seems counterintuitive that when you consume fewer calories, and exercise more to use more calories, that you can remain the same weight or gain.  That’s just how it is with me, so I’m not going to rant on that (again) but I sure would like to find something that works.  I feel so icky!

WTH

What if things go wrong.  You can count on things going wrong actually.  They’re very consistent.  You have a plan, you execute the plan, the plan goes off the rails, you throw the plan out.  Those are Captain Cold’s rules.  He then gets trapped in a room with a giant shark/man mutant from another dimension (Demention?  from crazy town?)  He does get rescued in time though.

I am on this weird journey to make Measurable progress in getting fit.  My 1st entry in this blog was March 6, 2014.  OMG.  I was 208 pounds then.  I’m 218 now.  Since that 1st entry, I have looked for the right combination of exercise and diet that would get me down to about 140 pounds which I haven’t weighed since my youngest was born…143 pounds plus or minus.  I remember that weight because I was 143 pounds going into the hospital as a pregnant lady, and came out weighing 143 pounds AFTER the child was born.  How is that possible?  He was 7# 4 oz.  I should have weighed at least 7 pounds less coming out!  That was the beginning of this strange journey into obesity.  Hahaha!  I can blame my boy!  Nope, that won’t work.

I cut myself down to 1200 calories a day.  I have been at 1200 calories a day for 3 years.  I have tried cutting out chocolate, then bread, then carbs in general, then colas, and at one time I existed on soup for a week.  Of course that was because I had a terrible respiratory virus that precluded me from eating solid food.  I couldn’t keep anything down but soup.  I do not recommend it.  I have exercised cardio and strength training 5 days a week with a trainer 3 days of those days, and I have exercised on my own taking occasional walks and going to the gym to work on the tread mill once a week.  I have been told I’m eating too little.  I have been told that to really lose the weight, I have to go on an 800 calorie diet and take supplements.  I have been told that all I need to do was portion control.  I have been told that all I need to do is start a running regimen.

In the course of this journey, I have had a 1/2″ kidney stone, I have broken my hip, and I have suffered all sorts of indignities that go with being too big.  I especially hate shopping for clothes.  “Here, try this tent on, the circus won’t be back until spring.”  I cannot physically get into a swimsuit because I cannot bend over to get both my feet in.  It doesn’t work like underwear.  I used to love swimming.  I used to love dancing.  I’m winded going up to the sidewalk of the gym.  I watch all the weight loss commercials and think to myself, well they wouldn’t work for me.  I think the laws of physics and biology bend around me.  I think I have ranted on this before…if you eat less and exercise more, you use more calories than you take in and you lose weight.  Unless you’re not eating enough, then they pile on.  If you are awake really late at night because you have something on your mind, and you’re moving, you’re using more calories, right?  But if you don’t get enough sleep, you gain weight.  So the laws of physics apply to every situation except when they don’t.

I HAVE NO VICES!  I do not overeat.  I do not smoke.  I do not drink.  I do not commit adultery.  I do not gamble.  I might be addicted to Longmire, but I don’t think that’s a vice since it has a definite ending point.  And yet…  I cannot find the energy to clean, or cook, or garden, or walk or dance or swim because I am so big and it takes so much effort.  I get depressed because I know I DO have 6-pack abs, but they’re so insulated that no one can see them.  I used to dance 5 hours a day.  I used to hike 10 miles.  I used to go on bike rides all over.  I used to march and play a horn for an hour a day.  I used to chase 5 kids around.  I used to be a pit pop who moved the percussion instruments on and off the field and in and out of the trucks.  I used to set field props for band contests.  I couldn’t do any of that now, even at gunpoint.

And now, I have another physical issue.  I don’t want to be in a state of always having to do something to fix something.  I don’t want to take medicine for the rest of my life.  I want it fixed.  When the light bulb goes out, you replace it.  You don’t have to monitor it every stinking day to see if there is something that MIGHT go wrong with it.  When you replace a broken window, you do it and it’s fixed.  There is no daily activity you have to do to make sure the fixed window hasn’t degraded into a broken window.  When you break a bone and they reset it, it heals and then EVERY FREAKING DAY you have to exercise the muscles around it so you can continue to use it for the rest of your life.  Because once it’s broken, it’s ruined.  Nothing will ever be right about it from that point on.  If you have a kidney stone, EVEN AFTER YOU’VE PASSED IT, you’re likely to have more.  The kidney is ruined and nothing will ever be right about it from that point on.  If you’ve gained weight, by whatever means it has happened, your metabolism is ruined and it will never be right again.  Every day, you start from 0.  It’s like Forrest Gump if he were in the Outer Limits. He starts his cross country run, runs for 25-30 miles.  He goes to sleep and wakes up the next morning in his bedroom.

As a good friend of mine says, “Oh Well.”

hmmm

I wrote that last one Sept 1, and then something happened and it didn’t publish.

Ok, well, published now.

End of 1st week:  It’s hard not to drink coffee/tea/pop and stick to water.  I went a week on this water experiment and then had some Mountain dew with my salad.  I couldn’t finish it.  It was way too sweet!  I had coffee with my breakfast, and could only drink a 1/2 a cup.  My body’s reacting to this in ways I didn’t predict.  Should be interesting.

Lips still feel sticky, but less so.

Water

Water you up to?  Not much, you?

Hahahaha!  I crack myself up.  (cues laugh track)

I was looking on my bottle of tea for ingredients.  It SHOULD say water and green tea.  It doesn’t.

Water, Citric acid, Hexametaphosphate, Natural flavor (why would you have to ADD natural flavor?  If it isn’t added, why is it listed as an ingredient?) Green tea (there’s the tea), ascorbic acid, potassium sorbate, phosporicacid, aspartame, acesulfame potassium, pectin, and calcium disodium EDTA. And what is EDTA?  Ethylenediaminetetraacetic acid. (That’s ethylene diamine tetra acetic acid)  It is made from a concoction of poisons and chelation chemicals:  formaldehyde, sodium cyanide, and Ethylenediamine.  Yummy!

Back to water.  It has been pointed out to me that I might be suffering from chronic dehydration.  Chronic?  It means I’m consistently drinking stuff other than water.  Think of it this way.  You’re making bread.  It calls for flour, sugar, milk, salt, butter and yeast.  That’s fairly straight forward isn’t it.  Milk is liquid.  Substitute 2/3 c of dry milk and 1 cup water.  Now…Here’s where the fun begins.  Try substituting 1 cup of tea for the water.  Now try 1 cup of coffee.  Oooo!  how about a cup of kalua!  Wait.  1 cup of Mountain Dew!  I like Mountain Dew, let’s make it 2 cups!  Yum!  In any case, you’re not going to get bread out of this recipe.

The body craves water.  Simplest form possible.  If it gets something other than water, it first has to clean it to get the water out.  That’s an extra step.  When you pollute the water with flavorings and extra chemicals to maintain its color and addict you to the secret ingredient (High Fructose Corn Syrup),  you don’t get as much water as you need out of the concoction.  Your nerves need water to make sure the electrical impulses are not short circuited.  Your brain needs water because it’s the brain and it knows what it wants.  Your bones need water to lubricate the joints.  Your blood needs water so it doesn’t get too thick.  OK, so no, I don’t exactly know why all these systems need water, but they do.  But I don’t drink nearly enough water.  I bet you don’t either.  You drink sports drinks, and pop, and milk, and tea, and beer, and wine and juice.  But you don’t just drink water.  Oh we make a big deal about carrying our water in little bottles with labels that say “this here water is pure as the driven snow and melted down from a glacier in Nova Scotia…or from the tap of Mrs. Livingston in Rockwell, Ill.”  We drink the water at the gym and where ever we think someone will see us being healthy.  Then we go home and have a 2 liter Mountain dew with our pizza.  Or we have 1/2 a case of beer with our steak and potatoes.

I want to try an experiment.  Let’s get as many people to do a WATER ONLY September.

  1. Take your measurements and describe your well-being before you start, and then at the end of the month.  Let me know what you discover.
  2. If you drink anything, it has to be water.  No tea, coffee, fruit drinks, diet drinks, pop…just water.  I think the standard amount is related to your weight.  I may be way off base, but figure 1 oz of water for every 2 pounds you weigh.  So if you are 100 pounds, you drink 50 oz of water a day.
  3. You can have soup and broth, but it doesn’t substitute for water, it would be in addition to water.

I will collate the information and let you know the results in October.  It could have revealing results.

.

Oh NOOOO!

I am so disillusioned!  I thought Sinko de Mayo was when you ate mayonnaise by the sink!  Now I find out it’s a DATE?  5th of May…who knew

Apparently nobody.  Cinco De Mayo has nothing to do with Mexican Independence, that was September 16, 1810.  It is a celebration of an underdog victory–the Mexicans beat the French on May 5.  It is usually celebrated by military parades in Mexico.  In the US though, it is a holiday where all the gringos switch to tequila to get drunk.

St. Patrick’s day is a solemn occasion that reveres St. Patrick who was instrumental in converting Ireland to Catholicism. But in the USA, everyone wears green and they dye the water in the Chicago river green as well.  There’s parades and pub crawls, and it has nothing to do with the celebration of St. Patrick’s day.

New Year’s Day is when we make our resolutions and reflect on the past year.  Unless you’re from the US, then you start drinking Dec 30 and get so blasted that they pass out and miss the momentous occasion at midnight on the 31st.

What is it about Americans that we use every excuse to get a day off work and get drunk or high to excess?  How is that fun?  Why do people look for occasions to escape their lives–either by running away from work or spouse or kids or becoming unconscious?  Being drunk isn’t fun.  You can’t see, you can’t talk right, you can’t walk straight, you throw up, you pass out, you lose your inhibitions and do really stupid things that you regret for a long time after.  Why do they have to make low-calorie beer?  Is it to entice you to drink more since you won’t then gain weight?  What is the matter with people?!

It has a lot to do with how people see themselves.  It is not with a small amount of discomfort that I refer to myself as fat and give my fat “sentience” and a name (Obie) and a personality.  If people see themselves as trapped in a job, or in a relationship, or by circumstance with a family, they will engage in escape behavior.  I’ve been good all week!  I deserve to have that cake, since nothing I do will ever make me thin…  Counter intuitive don’t you think?  I will engage in a drinking binge where I end up in a motel with someone I don’t know and have no recollection of the whole night.  That should fix my broken marriage.  What kind of idiot thinks like that?  Quit crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.  Wouldn’t the end result be continued crying at a louder volume and a longer period of time?  Nobody is addressing the root cause of the issue.    We shouldn’t have to feel a need to escape.  We’re not in a hopeless situation.  We’re not fleeing to Canada or Mexico.  (BTW, Are the anti trump celebrities still here?)  We have 46 million people in the US that are foreign born.  People want to come here.  All those other societies with free health care, and better schools and better understanding of immigrants etc, only have a fraction of the number of people going to the US.  How long will the myth of the American dream last?  Longer than you might think.

They all think we’re rich.  We consider ourselves living paycheck to paycheck and just barely scraping by…with a new car, a 52″ screen TV, food of every imaginable type available EVERYWHERE and for EVERYONE.  No lines for staples like bread and milk that run out.

Our WORST problem is that we’re all fat.  Poor Americans, they have too much food.  But we’re the ones trying to escape our lives?  Good morning America…count your blessings.