They all knew
We weren’t crying
We didn’t want
We held life and death in
the palms of our hands
We weren’t weak
We were determined
Hold hands, 3 of us
cold icy water
my foot hurts–no my ankle
why do I feel pain?
Struggle to surface
Current moves me
But I can’t
Blow out all air
but I can’t
Rock in my side
Branch on my arm
Roll to back
Strong hands pull me out
I have spent the better of 1 hour on my feet. I now have to sit down and rest. Then I’ll get up again and spend about 1/2 hour on my feet. Then sit down. Then I make cookies with the grandkids. I now have to sleep for 2 hours and am sore for hours after that. I love baking cookies! I love cooking! I love clean…whoops, not that one. But when I finish, in fact multiple times within the cooking and baking, I have to sit. When I’m done my feet are sore, my back is sore, and I’m exhausted!
My friend Gloria read from a book “Getting Old is Not for Sissies!” I sure identified with that! At this time, I have my kids so well trained, all I have to do is the “up” gesture they used when they were two years old, and they will pull me out of my chair. Why do I need to be pulled out of my chair?! This is ridiculous! My old year’s resolution was to drop some pounds so I wouldn’t be in this painful condition. I went on a diet, (ketogenic) and I must have done it wrong because I GAINED weight. I spent time in the gym doing my physical therapy exercises so I wouldn’t limp so much. I’m still limping. I got on the curve treadmill and the stationary bike to build up my endurance. I’m out of breath going up 7 stairs. It seems counterintuitive that when you consume fewer calories, and exercise more to use more calories, that you can remain the same weight or gain. That’s just how it is with me, so I’m not going to rant on that (again) but I sure would like to find something that works. I feel so icky!
Went to a convention in Indianapolis. Whee! Prepaid the parking and it is just across the street from the Colts’ stadium which is good since 1/2 the event happens here. Unfortunately, the other half is in the convention center, which according to the map, is just a couple minutes’ walk from the parking facility. The map is SO wrong! 1st off, it’s about 4-6 blocks from the car, but when you get to the center, it’s another 1/2 mile INSIDE the building! I am using my cane, but the side effect is that my back and hip on the uninjured side now stiffen up.
Once you get to the room, you sit for 4 hours after the walk. Uh oh. Now back and hip is stiffened up, AND the injured leg is weak and doesn’t want to support my weight. Not the worst, because hubby’s knee is giving out now! OH NO! So started at the stadium. Then 3 hours later, they kick us out (even though most of the participants are buying food!) before the next session. The participants take their food outside to eat, and 1/2 hour later, when the doors re-open, are not allowed to take it back in to the facility. Doh! Sit for another 3 1/2 hours, then mosey out to find the next session. We wander down the street and with no end in sight, we stop and sit on some of the low walls. Finally, we get to the convention center, then follow the crowd in and stand in line for another 30 min to get pizza. We go to the last session and sit for 2 more hours. Hip, back and thigh is stiff, and hubby’s knee is sore. Limp back to the car and ride home.
My right hand is now bruised from the cane. The room phone doesn’t work, and I am having difficulties getting into the internet. I should put on my run tracker tomorrow! I’m going to sleep like a rock tonight!
Broke my hip in August. 10 months. 3 months now without cane or crutches. My Physical Therapist says, “Try not to walk with a limp.” OK. But my injured leg doesn’t come straight up and down when I step on it. It kinda lists off to one side. When I walk on the tread mill, my gait is ok, but when I’m done, my right arm is sore. “Don’t lean on it.” ok. “Try not to walk with a limp.” *puts hand back on handle bars for tread mill.* “Now that’s good, just take your hand off now.” *takes hand off* “Now try not to walk with a limp…” repeat.
They’re all confused about what to do with my gait. So they sent me to the shoe store to get better shoes. I paid $165 for shoes that hurt. They have a wide sole and a very hard and high arch. I slide to the outside of the shoe. (Gravity tends to work that way. Put something on a hill and it will slide down.) “Your gait needs improving. The shoes are fine; you are messed up.” I have blisters on the tops of my toes on one foot, and the tarsometatarsal joint on the outside of my foot goes out of place if I step on uneven ground. This is most unpleasant. Since I was a dance teacher many years ago, I know how to pop it back in, but that doesn’t make it less painful, and it doesn’t solve the problem.
I tripped over a broken hose this morning, and it hurt that foot, and also the thigh on my injured leg. Here I am at 7:30 AM and my day is already slated to be nasty. I’m driving through the heavy rain with lightning and thunder, and the guy on the radio says, there’s a better chance for rain (50%!) for tomorrow. How can a 50% chance of rain be better than the 100% that we have now? Will it rain more earnestly? My conclusion is that the day brings what the day brings, and hurting myself 1st thing in the morning does not dictate how the rest of the day will go.
I don’t get that assessment very often. I got it from my orthopedic doctor yesterday. But Doctor, I still hurt. “Yup. You’re going to hurt.” But Doctor, I still limp. “Yup, you still limp.” How am I cured? “Your leg is no longer broken.” Ah.
Then, from the Physical Therapist…”You know, eventually you’ll have to be doing exercises on your own to keep making progress. You have to get to the point where you don’t need us any more.”
Maybe I should have washed the clothes I wear to the appointments…though I didn’t notice anyone’s eyes tearing up and heard no retching noises.
I did get new shoes yesterday. They are supposed to compensate for my outward roll on my right foot and support my weak left leg. Both have a very high arch support in them. I feel like my foot is sliding off the center of the shoe. They felt ok in the store though. Is there a thing where when you cross the threshold, the shoes have a trigger that turns off the comfort level? I guess I’ll find out if it works in a few days.
So for all intents and purposes, my leg is healed. It still hurts to stand on it for any length of time, and I cannot go up and down stairs like I used to. But…
It’s Pouring, the Old Man is Snoring…
Ok I’m snoring. I’m lying on my side in the Physical Therapist’s office on a padded table with a heating pad on my leg. It’s really heavy and it’s moist heat. *beep* Time for the ultra sound. zzzzzzz. *beep* “Were you sleeping?” Me? No. Why do you ask? “Because normally people who are awake don’t snore.” oh
She really really worked my IT band–the tendon that connects the hip and the knee. Iliotibial band it’s called. I’m cross-eyed in pain…and also I don’t have my glasses on so I may not be cross-eyed, just blurry. ANYWAY, after the torture comes the exercises. Leg lift with 2 lb. weights, side lift with same weight (OWIE! that one’s hard.) Hamstring stretch 3 x at 30 seconds. Leg extensions with 3 lb weight. Leg curl with blue band resistance. Calf stretch 3 x at 30 seconds. Hip glider machine, 3 springs, 15 times. Sideways stepping, marching then on to the box. It’s 4″ box I step up on my bad leg, touch my right toe and then step back down. 15 of those. After that, I step up on my bad leg and then continue forward and step down on my good leg. 15 of those. 5 min on the tread mill, lvl 1.
Then I walk out of the office. I don’t limp for a good 45 min after that. Then I sit down and of course it tightens up again, but I’m not limping as bad. But it’s raining. I have to limp fast to get to the car! So I am making measurable progress.
I do have a question though. You all know how hard it is for me to loose weight. Very strict diet, and I do as much exercise as I can given my current physical state. Do the probiotics work? Could I have a digestive problem instead of a calorie problem?
Compensating behavior takes place whenever one part of the body is compromised due to injury or disease. So when you stub your toe, you limp and take more weight on your other foot. When you jam your fingers, you hold your pencil differently.
I went to a Toastmaster conference in Lincoln over the weekend of April 21, and had to walk about 3 blocks from the parking lot to the hotel where the event took place. I was a good girl and used my cane. I was limping and I guess I need new shoes. My left leg is fine, but my right calf seized up so badly that it’s pulling on my Achilles tendon and causing pain in my right heel.
How do you effectively limp on both feet?
Every time I go into the Physical Therapist, he rubs, (massages? I don’t know what you call it) right around the incision sites on my leg. Now this isn’t the kind of massage you want to pay for, but I do. It hurts. He uses his thumb and fingers and palm and it always leaves me very sore. In once case it left me black and blue! But a day after that, I can walk better! 🙂 Not this time. I was on my side and he was using his thumb on the screw incisions near my knee cap, and was rubbing so hard, I could feel it in the other leg! This was Friday, and now it’s Sunday and I’m still very sore! And it hurts to walk. 😦
I wish that I would heal better.
But I am doing my exercises, and going without my crutch or cane. This morning, I was playing in front of the congregation for both services and having to limp over to the part of the dais so I wouldn’t blow out the preacher’s ear drums with my horn. The limp is quite noticeable. Everyone was asking me how I was. “Are you ok?” “Did you hurt your foot this morning?” “Is this weather hard on your knees?” They weren’t commenting on the music. My limping was a distraction for them.
It was fun though! I played my 1903 Lyon and Healy Cornet, and my dad’s piccolo trumpet on “Jesus Christ is Risen Today” with a descant, “He lives,” the Choir piece “On the Third Day,” and finally “Up from the Grave he Arose” with a descant. I got to blow the doors off on the 2nd service since there were so many people! *Giggles*
I had roast lamb, garlic potatoes (small portion) with fresh chives, steamed carrots, and Charoset, a dried fruit dish with walnuts and almonds traditionally used on Passover. Yum!
I am getting better. Or not.
When I went to my doctor’s appointment, and I hobbled in on my crutch, she looked at me funny and asked, “Why are you still on that thing?” Hmmm, that was most upsetting. Last time, she said I was recovering well. This x-ray showed the bone pretty much healed, and no little bone bumps from the appliance they had to put in. No bone calluses, no screw-holes getting bigger or looser, no movement in the appliance was visible, so everything is fine. Now, Walk. “It still hurts. It feels like I have an extra joint in my leg about mid thigh.” “Oh? Well, we can cut you open and go digging around to see what the problem is.” !!!!! “And it pops when I try to do stairs.” “Oh? Well we can send you to our joint specialist and he can dig around in there to see what the problem is.” !!!!!
None of those options seem like a good idea. Maybe I ought to just suck it up buttercup. I have been doing exercises to strengthen the muscles in my left leg. I have done exercises to strengthen my core and my upper body too. I can stand without my crutch and can hobble all over the house, but it’s not walking, it’s limping. And it still hurts. I need to stop complaining to everyone (she says complaining to everyone in PRINT on a BLOG.) When people ask me when I should be off the crutch, I should just drop the stupid thing and walk (limp) away. I shouldn’t have to explain my shortcomings and failures to heal to anyone. No one is actually interested in WHY I still hurt or why I’m not progressing like a normal person that is done with the surgery and then done with the cane or crutch 4 months later. Here I am at 2/15/17 after my accident 8/15/16, 6 months, and still on crutch. Did I mention it still hurts? Every step hurts. Getting up from my chair, from the couch, from the pew hurts. Standing hurts. Sleeping without a pillow between my knees and ankles hurts. I feel like the guy in Holy Grail. People ask me how I’m doing and I say, “I’m not dead…”
It’s 5:45 in the morning and the radio starts playing. John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John singing their famous duet…”You’re the One that I want!” hoo hoo hoo baby…
I pulled my back adjusting my sitting position in the couch last night. Is that even possible? Obviously it is. My constant use of crutches, bad posture (due to crutches) and favoring one leg due to broken hip (and crutches) has slowed my progress. I am sitting in a hard-backed chair, and it feels good! How do I improve my standing posture if I can’t put weight on my left foot though? I have to shift my center of gravity over my right foot and that curves the spine out of shape. It tightens the muscles in my back as they adjust to the new posture, and they scream obscenities at me as some have to stretch to accommodate this temporary stance.
What am I thinking while this agony twists my brain? A COMEDY! Grease re-visited. We catch up with Danny and Sandy at age 68. They do all their dancing with walkers in the style of The Producers. Change the words from “You’re the one that I want” to “You’re the one that I got…” Summer Nights would become Summer Afternoon, once a month, whether we need it or not… Rizzo would spend the whole movie coughing. The fair scene where they sing “We go together like…” would be very funny. They could list all the medications they’re taking. “We go together like Levotal, Plendil, and Phenoxybenzamine…” Oh, and Travolta would be wearing an ill fitting toupee…
I confess, I have been doing PT for my hip even though my doctor is of the opinion that those evil PT guys will break my titanium appliance. I’ve been told not to go to PT, though I might even though my doctor won’t clear me for it. I may find a way anyway. I think my recovery is being stunted. My trips to the gym are not limited by my PT however, and I am including some upper body work as well…chest presses, dips, ab work, shoulder, triceps extensions. The pain in my shoulders replaces the pain in my hip. The main thing I’m trying to do, since my activity is severely curtailed is watch my food intake. I watch it leave my plate into my mouth. But since I’m a lousy shot, I still get a great deal of it on my shirt. What lands on the shirt is not counted in the calories, so I’m eating less…I think…
With the level of hardware in my leg I was joking about not being able to go into the St. Louis Arch without setting 15 armed guards off demanding how I could carry an Uzi in my leg. Ha ha ha. Well, I went to the Barnes and Nobel and found myself setting off alarms on my way IN to the store. Since I obviously wasn’t carrying a book, it was curious. I dread the possibility of being strip-searched every time I go to a department store…