Daylight Savings? In what way?!!!

Daylight Savings time? What a bunch of hooey!

When you invest money in a bank, you put it in a SAVINGS account and it makes interest.

When you invest your money in an investment in real estate or the stock market you expect a Return on Investment.

When the government mandates daylight savings time, where do they put that extra daylight, huh? Shouldn’t we be getting some interest or some sort of return on these savings? What is the rate? It can’t be the same as that in Scotland, they get 16 hours of daylight in July and 8 hours in January. So in order to make the most of the savings, we’d have to move north during the summer and south during the win…oh. Snowbirds. Old people that live in Michigan during the summer and Florida during the winter. If EVERYONE moved south during the winter and north during the summer, would that make the southern US sink during the summer like a teeter-totter? The Canadians would have to move to Mexico and the Mexicans to Canada. We don’t worry about Phoenix, it cooks people in the summer so they’re dust and ashes by the time winter rolls around.

I understand, but still, if we’re saving daylight, why don’t they distribute it during the winter when we really need it? And what about ROI and interest? “Honey, I’m going to the garage to work on the car. Can you get me a container of about 4 hours of daylight?

Couldn’t they also have heat savings time where they collect the heat we get in the summer and use it during the winter? Oh wait, global warming. So sure we have our disasters and below-0 temperatures, but we used to get 2-3 blizzards every winter, 6′ drifts, and white-outs, and now we get 2 inches and call it done. The average temperature was between 49 and 52 degrees from 1875 to 1909; between 49 and 54 degrees from 1910-1951; between 50 and 54 degrees from 1951-1993, and finally between 52 and 56 degrees from 1994-2022. So some of the heat was redistributed, but the summer heat wasn’t modified.

And what about NOAA? National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Yeah, right. What kind of administration just reports and doesn’t do anything. What are they actually administering?

It’s a conspiracy, I tell you!!!

Dumming Doun of Merca

Um, Hi.

Hi.

How are ya?

Ok?

Let me get this thing up. Ah, there we go!

Me too…

“Ah, Good evening, James! What are the circumstances of our repartee this fine eventide?”

“Good evening, Charles! I have come to the conclusion that my organic intelligence has been compromised.”

“And how did you arrive at this momentous discovery?”

“I happened to come across an acquaintance of mine from my matriculation at the post-secondary institution in the town which has been the traditional abode for my father’s side of the family.”

“Of course. I recalled that you had decided to attend the associate’s program at the Metro Community College before advancing to your Bachelor’s degree. Please continue.”

“My acquaintance’s name is Robert William Beauregard IV and he had been keeping me abreast of his activities via the social media channels he favors.”

“Praytell, of what significance was this chance meeting to the frightful determination of the diminished capacity of your organic intellect?”

“Patience! It shall be revealed anon! Robert proceeded to inform me of the latest developments in his chosen career: Waste Management Transportation systems. Nevertheless, when he concluded his laundry list of ailments, his offspring’s latest accomplishments on the baseball field of battle, and his spouse’s most recent complaints of his eau d’toilet (pun intended), he inquired of my status.”

“Gasps! Excuse me for jumping to the conclusion that you didn’t have your Beverly to continue your discussion in the manner to which Robert had been accustomed.”

“Your assumption was correct. I left my Beverly in my automobile as I was not anticipating a conversation of any sort in my ambulation to the post box. I had momentarily left the car at the bottom of the driveway to examine the contents of my post box when he drove up. It did not occur to me to take my Beverly with me on such a short jaunt.”

“Please continue!”

“I wished to tell him about the long, tedious meeting which I had endured with my immediate superior, my meteoric rise to the head of the Public Relations department, and my spectacular acquisition of the Rolls Royce Silver Shadow.”

“I sense that your recitation did not meet Robert’s standards of elocution?”

“It did not. Rather than spout the drivel that inevitably would have issued from my mouth, I smiled and nodded politely, then awkwardly ran for the door of my vehicle, slammed the door and locked it, and accelerated in a most unseemly manner up the driveway. Truly, I could not have answered my acquaintance’s questions with even the most meager of comments. My humiliation was complete, my countenance was downcast, and my feeling of mortification could not have been worse if I had heard Robert’s utter derisive critique regarding my inadequate communications skills.”

“What do you mean to do to ameliorate this situation?”

“Firstly, I do not plan to leave my abode at any proximal time. Secondly, I may have to hire a tutor to instruct me in the finer points of communication…”

“Excuse me, but why not just employ the skills of your Beverly to translate your thoughts and then have you memorize the phrases?”

“My ability to memorize has been greatly decreased of late. My dependence on my Beverly for even the most mundane of communications has relinquished my necessity for even the most prosaic vocabulary to the point where I must keep reference books such as a thesaurus or a dictionary with pronunciatory functions in my immediate vicinity to avoid the faux pas of mispronunciation.”

“I do not envy the unfortunate soul with the unenviable task of reacquainting you with the English Language.”

“In this, we are in agreement.”

“You do realize that you may have to require a Non-Disclosure Agreement from your tutor.”

“The thought had occurred to me.”

“It seems that our conversation has come to a close, and I wish you well in your endeavors to reclaim your verbal acuity. I will be disconnecting my Dennis, shortly.”

“Do you find it pretentious that we name our verbal enhancement linguist?”

“Ha! We’re Rich. We can do any dern thing we want.”

“Yeah, you betcha. Yeah, so Beverly’s off. I kinda worry about these phone calls, ya know? She seems to be getting hot to the touch and sometimes, (hand to God) I’ll see sparks! So y’all be on the horn next weekend, Chuck?”

“Yesirree Jim-Bob. Y’all take keer now, ya’hear?”

“Back Atcha!

My Clouds

This was taken this morning. Ya. I had to pull off the road to get this picture because I couldn’t describe it well enough without you seeing it. Isn’t this AMAZING!?