Measurable Progress? So what?

Recently, I’ve had some REAL measurable progress. My pants size has dropped from 2XL to 16P. This is a major change. So I decided rather than wear my baggy jeans, I would go and get some that fit me. Big Mistake.

I hate shopping.

First of all, America is filled with fat people. 41% are obese. 41%. That’s a lot of fat people. Now, look at TV. The only people you see that are fat are old women. They’re the doting old grannies and maiden aunts and church ladies. All the women under 40 are svelt, symmetrical, and muscular. They all wear stilettos. I can think of 2 exceptions. There was a serial killer who’d had electroshock therapy when she was a child and her father abused her, so when he took away her dolls, she got human substitutes. Then there was the serial killer who had PCOS and was convinced that the photographer that worked with her sister in the flower shop was in love with her and was going to marry her and, of course, he proposed to the sister! So there’s that. Old ladies and serial killers. Not sure which category I’d put myself in. OK, wait, there’s Crissy Metz, and the big news is that she’s lost 100 pounds.

Anyway, with that many people being overweight, why is 85% of the floor space in the department-store ladies’ section dedicated to people that are not obese? Why do they put the plus-sizes in the corner, wayyyyy in the back? (snarky comment–fat people need the exercise anyway so we provide that!) Why do all the dresses and tops look like discarded wedding tents and camping tarps? Why do the sizes go from 12P, 14P, 22W, and “continued on next table”…that is empty. Why do the manufacturers assume that if you have a 40″ waist, you’re 7’2” tall? Why do they think that petite people are all size 0? How do they come to the conclusion that you need an extra foot of fabric at the hips if you can fit the waist, and if you fit the hips, you need low-rise pants so your muffin top has something to sit on?

And what genius decided that size 22W people wanted Super-Skinny jeans? They even have Jeggings–leggings that look like jeans. They’re easy to put on, but God help you if you have to go to the bathroom in a hurry! The only way out of them is by turning them inside out. and if you want to take them off (for instance in the fitting room) and you cannot bend over to get them over your feet, you need to get creative. If I wanted jeans so tight they look painted on, I’d paint them on.

Shop online, they say. I went to the Dress Barn, where I used to be able to find stuff that fit. They seem to be online only now. Most of their models are tall and if they’re overweight, they’re not big. No way to try the pants on before selecting a size. Sooo, buy 1 type of pants in 3 different sizes to get the fit right? SURE! Buy something and wait until it ships then find out it doesn’t fit…because 16P at one store isn’t the same as 16P from another. In fact, 16P in the same store will not be the same under another label. In fact, 16P in the same label on the left side of the display is not the same as on the right side. I also went to the Lane Bryant site. They’re selling the same brands, the same sizes, and using the same models!

I guess I’ll wait to get new clothes until I’m down another 50 pounds or so, and have grown 5 inches and put on enough muscle so my BMI is at -2%. I’m going to my room and have a good cry.

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